Limericks

annie_mial
annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
edited 1. Dec 2009, 17:01 in Community Chit-chat archive
I'm in a bit of a daft mood tonight, so let's have a limericks thread. I'll kick it off, 'cos a silly one about the cat just popped into my head.

An elegant feline called Tillie
Was really exceedingly chillie
Wearing vests and two hats
A cloak and some spats
She looked really exceedingly sillie!

Come on, all you limerick lot!

Annie

Comments

  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Annie,

    Its very good but Tillie has just emailed my employers and they have advised her to sue :wink::lol::lol::lol: xx
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    skezier wrote:
    Hi Annie,

    Its very good but Tillie has just emailed my employers and they have advised her to sue :wink::lol::lol::lol: xx

    Good grief, she'll take me for every piece of chicken I possess!

    Annie

    PS has Harry been giving her lessons, by any chance?
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Annie,

    He does do mail order lessons :wink::lol::lol::lol: xx
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    skezier wrote:
    Hi Annie,

    He does do mail order lessons :wink::lol::lol::lol: xx

    Cris

    Now when are you going to get my dog for me??????

    Not too big, I like them to sit on my lap. Breed- mongral. \i'm not fussy.

    Trish who's would like a dog for life, not just for Christmas.

    Come on Cris lets do your tree, blue lights you said, hurry up.

    Trish xx
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    There once was a man called Rehab ............ :lol:


    I'm thinking about the second line what goes with Rehab
    who had a rather large kebab

    back to you Jan

    Trish xx
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    who had a rather large kebab

    [can see where this is gonna go !!]

    he would boast of its size .....................


    It's all I can think of at the moment.

    There was a man called Rehab...........you started it :shock:
    Who had a rather large kebab

    O what a nice time he had. last line you do the one in the row

    Trish xxxx
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    but the woman got wise !! :lol:


    I'm so glad she did, my goodness. I won't tell you what I would do.

    Trish xxx
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi

    I once knew a brave man named Len
    He was the most noble of men
    He went to the army
    It sent him quite barmy
    And now he just hides in his den



    There once was a young man called Joe
    Who entered a singing show
    His voice was melodic
    His face was angelic
    And now I don't want him to go
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 1. Dec 2009, 06:33
    This one is a bit rude :!: Well very rude, but here goes anyway :!: :shock: :shock: Forgive me , Rehab :!: :roll:

    There once was a man named Rehab
    Who had an enormous kebab
    He boasted its size
    But the ladies grew wise
    And now its just shrivelled to flab

    Sorry :oops: :oops:
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  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm on a roll now :!: :!:

    I once knew a young man called Mell
    One day into Dreamland he fell
    Some mushrooms he found
    And he made not a sound
    Because he was under their spell
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    I'm on a roll now :!: :!:

    I once knew a young man called Mell
    One day into Dreamland he fell
    Some mushrooms he found
    And he made not a sound
    Because he was under their spell

    HMMM mushrooms!
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mellman01 wrote:
    joanlawson wrote:
    I'm on a roll now :!: :!:

    I once knew a young man called Mell
    One day into Dreamland he fell
    Some mushrooms he found
    And he made not a sound
    Because he was under their spell

    HMMM mushrooms!

    Are you still under their spell :?: In fact, are you ever not under their spell :?:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rehab44 wrote:
    There was a young girl named Joan
    She went to the dentist's alone
    In a fit of depravity
    He filled the wrong cavity
    And now she nurses the filling at home

    Very funny, Rehab :!: :lol::lol:

    How did you know that I am phobic about dentists, and my dentist has to hypnotise me on occasions :!: :shock:
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  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I Love 'em!!
    You lot are SO naughty!!!
    More please!
    Toni x
  • babette
    babette Member Posts: 128
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi

    My partners favourite limerick is this one ...

    There once was a young man from Rhyl
    Who swallowed a nuclear pill
    His genital organ
    Ended up in Glamorgan
    His nuts up a tree in Brazil.

    B x
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rehab44 wrote:
    Following the implementation of European Union EUB 07586, all limericks beginning "There was a..." must, from the first of September, 2010, be historically accurate. Failure to prove that there was, in fact, a young vampire called Mabel, will result in a fine not exceeding eight pounds thirty five pence and imprisonment in a public lavatory in Doncaster for a week.

    You have been warned

    This has been a public service message

    What about ' There is a' :?: or 'I once knew a' :?: or 'There once was a'????
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