Just dont know what to do anymore just want to give up

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katknapp
katknapp Member Posts: 709
edited 6. Dec 2010, 11:23 in Chat to our Helpline Team archive
Well ive finally had it i really dont think i can take much more,ive been off work for 5 months and now my ssp has run out i went back to work on friday thinking i would be ok as a cashier but it was made plain to me that it would only be allowed for 8 weeks also i have been told i have to do overtime over christmas, im struggling with the hours ive got!i was in lots of pain by the time i finally got home, and today im barely able to walk,im really worried ive mucked thinngs up now as i cant really be off work again can i?my doctors are no help at all i just dont know who to turn to,im so very very down i cant stop crying,sorry this is garbled i cant seem to think straight

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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,635
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Message from the Moderators

    Please note: If at any time any of our members is feeling particularly low you can get advice and support by contacting the following:

    The 24/7 Samaritans’ phone number 08457 90 90 90
    Email address: jo@samaritans.org

    Or the Arthritis Care Helplines:
    By phone: 0808 800 4050 (10am-4pm weekdays)
    By email: Helplines@arthritiscare.org.uk
    By letter: Helplines team, Arthritis Care, 18 Stephenson Way, London NW1 2HD
    (NB the Arthritis Care helpline is open from 10am to 4pm weekdays only)

    Moderator IA.
  • katknapp
    katknapp Member Posts: 709
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thanks :(
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello katknapp,

    I'm so sorry to read that you are feeling so down just now... you have a lot going on just now with your health affecting work and the lack of understanding of your employer ad your docs. :?

    I don't know you.. so forgive me if I get things wrong!
    If you are really struggling with arther affecting you so badly that you can hardly walk then the 'ideal' would be to take more time off work. That may or may not be possible but if it does come to that then after SSP runs out you can apply for ESA (Employment and Support Allowance). Your employer should have sent you information about this and the contact number of your local DWP office.
    You may also qualify for DLA (Disability Living Allowance) so perhaps you could contact CAB to help you with both this and the work issues you have (and maybe money worries that usually come with being off work for a long time?). I don't want to bog you down more but as someone with a long term progressive condition you are entitled to extra support at work.(CAB can advise about this too)

    If you have an unsympathetic doctor then maybe you could go see another doctor in the practice? (I've had to do that too!) and in addition to maybe reviewing your arther meds you could consider with your doc if a referral for counselling might be helpful in seeing you through this difficult time.

    You are going through a bad patch just now and it can feel as though there's no way out ... but with the right help there will be.

    The helplines work Mon- Friday but come Monday perhaps you could phone them :?: they are really good and will help you talk through all of this.

    meantime...
    I hope you are OK... and just want you to know you are not alone...

    (((hugs)))

    Iris xxx
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 3,490
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Kath
    We always have someone around on the weekend and even the bank holidays and even will be checking in to see folk are Ok on Xmas day. I'll be checking back in in later today and then a couple of times tomorrow if you want to send a pm to
    let me know how you are getting on - or if you just want an ear ?
    You know we will be on the end of the phones on Monday too.
    Take Care
    Penn
    Helplines Team
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh katknapp, I am so sorry. I don't know what to say and there is nothing I can do. You are in a place that most of us have visited from time to time, and I know that things seem very bleak but I think it is a matter of finding the right help. Be kind to yourself this week-end, as much as you can. Rest, spoil yourself with a little treat if possible, and recharge those batteries. Come and tell us how you are feeling too - we can listen and offer cyber hugs! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 3,490
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Katnapp,

    Sorry for not getting back to sooner during this difficult time, but I am so glad to see that you are getting such useful advice and support from the online community.

    Going back to work after this break, must be a big change, especially when they are coming at you with changes which will make it even harder to manage. I am firstly wandering whether you are aware of the Disability Discrimination Act, which states that employers must make reasonable adjustments to working conditions, such as changing duties that an individual finds difficult to perform. To get advice and information on your rights under the DDA you can contact the Equality and Human Rights Commission http://www.equalityhumanrights.com/ and in your organisation occupational health or a Disability Employment Advisor located in your job centre.

    In regards to benefits, you may find it useful to read out ‘Benefits you can claim’ factsheet:http://www.arthritiscare.org.uk/PublicationsandResources/Listedbytype/Factsheets/main_content/BenefitsfactsheetApril10.pdf and contact the Disability Information Advice Line on (DIAL) on 01302 310123.

    I know this is a lot of information to take in, so read it in your own time, when the shock of returning to work has worn of. I do hope it has helped letting out your feelings, so I would encourage you, as Iris suggested, to go see your doctor to get referred for counselling to discuss the difficult emotions you are experiencing and call us on our confidential freephone helpline for a long chat.

    Best Wishes
    Adele
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Katnap
    Just wanted to offer you my support & give you a big hug ((((((((((((((( ))))))))))))))))))))))
    I think we have all reached rock bottom at some stage with dreaded arthur
    Im having counselling as had a meltdown at work & it is helping Im getting there
    Please take any help you can get out there & know that we know what you are going through & will help in what ever little way we can
    Keep warm & safe
    Mariax
  • katknapp
    katknapp Member Posts: 709
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi all,
    Thank you for all your messages of support and sorry for not being on here i have been in a bit of a dark place the past week or two,i have solved the work problem by being signed off for another month i decided it was a case of going without money and not being stressed about work,the family will just have to have a bit less at christmas!,i went to my doctor and told him i was very down and he has suggested councelling and maybe anti depressants and my reumy nurse has increased my sulsafalazine from 4 to 6 a day so hopefully they will start to kick in,i am also going to try for DLA although i have heard that is hard to get,i am just so glad that i could come on here and get the support i needed as i feel no one understands in my family i feel so alone with it and my husband seems so distant now :( ive gone from a busy working mum ready for a laugh to a grumpy always in pain raddled old hag!
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Katknapp

    I have just seen your post and wanted to say a belated "hello".

    It sounds from your latest post as if you have been able to move things forward a bit and are perhaps feeling a bit more positive, even though things are still difficult for you.

    You will get lots of support on here from people who really do understand what you are going through.

    I so hope that the extra Sulpha starts to give you some relief soon and that, if you decide to go for counselling, you find that it is helpful.

    Thinking of you.

    Tilly xxx
  • helpline_team
    helpline_team Posts: 3,490
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    katknapp wrote:
    Hi all,
    Thank you for all your messages of support and sorry for not being on here i have been in a bit of a dark place the past week or two,i have solved the work problem by being signed off for another month i decided it was a case of going without money and not being stressed about work,the family will just have to have a bit less at christmas!,i went to my doctor and told him i was very down and he has suggested councelling and maybe anti depressants and my reumy nurse has increased my sulsafalazine from 4 to 6 a day so hopefully they will start to kick in,i am also going to try for DLA although i have heard that is hard to get,i am just so glad that i could come on here and get the support i needed as i feel no one understands in my family i feel so alone with it and my husband seems so distant now :( ive gone from a busy working mum ready for a laugh to a grumpy always in pain raddled old hag!


    Dear Katnapp

    Thank you for your posting. It is good that you are taking care of yourself and giving yourself some time away from work and that you are accessing the support from your doctor. If you are going to apply for DLA it is a good idea to get the help of a benefits expert when completing the forms so you can have their help and support. Your local Citizen’s Advice Bureau may be able to help here. Their website address is http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/ and you will be able to find where your nearest one is on this. The Disability Information Advice Line on (DIAL) on 01302 310123 that my colleague has mentioned to you in her posting may also be able to help with this. I am glad that the messages of support have been helpful and as well as the forum you are very welcome to contact us on the freephone helpline if you feel you would like to speak to one of our helpline team for more support.

    Best Wishes
    Dawn
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