Feeling really sad

theresa4 · 30. May 2011, 16:47

Hi all
Just needed to whine again my life is deteriorating so quickly no what I do to try give myself a boost my body gives uP on me. The lAlSt few days have been very difficult. I've had a bad stOmach but my legs haven't been As quick as my stomach :oops: I'm so sick of being embarrassed even at home. My family are ok but not the most Patient or understanding. I don't blame them none of us signed uP for this.
Sorry for being so miserable but I suppose your all
Used to thT with me now x

margareth64 · 30. May 2011, 17:10

theresa4 wrote:

Hi all
Just needed to whine again my life is deteriorating so quickly no what I do to try give myself a boost my body gives uP on me. The lAlSt few days have been very difficult. I've had a bad stOmach but my legs haven't been As quick as my stomach :oops: I'm so sick of being embarrassed even at home. My family are ok but not the most Patient or understanding. I don't blame them none of us signed uP for this.
Sorry for being so miserable but I suppose your all
Used to thT with me now x

Im so sorry your feeling so ill its hard for our famililes to understand what we are going through, remember we are here to support and help you you are not alone we are all in the same boat im sending you gentle hugs hoping that you feel a bit better soon. xx
margaret

Poppyg1rl · 30. May 2011, 17:12

Hi Theresa,
Firstly, big hugs from me (((((()))))) you are not whinging you are ill, and talking to us about it, nothing wrong with that.
You're right, none of us signed up for Arthritis in any form and it's tough on us And our families.
Please don't be hard on yourself, take it easy, try to rest and keep talking to us, we understand and we will always be here for you.
More hugs (((((()))))) xxx

valval · 30. May 2011, 17:15

first off never worry about what you post to us. it what we here for to give you the chance to get everything off your chest. it no wonder you feeling down any one would and it only makes things worse when you feel you are being a burden on your family. well you are not they love you and am sure they would do anything for you just as you would them, so stop worrying about what you are putting others through.
arther messes with your head you need to be nice to your self give your self a chance to come to terms with everything things should get better soon if not back to the doc val

pheebs · 30. May 2011, 17:16

Hi Theresa,

The best thing about this forum is that there will always be someone who understands what you are going through so you can "whine" all you want!! I really hope you will be feeling much better very soon.

Best wishes,
Pheebs x

Sky · 30. May 2011, 17:24

Hi Theresa,

Sorry to see you feel a bit down at the moment. It's not easy is it and it does seem as though no one really gets it sometimes. I often feel as though I am a bit of a nuisance at times but I believe that it is most probably sadness talking. Family don't understand because people don't understand what they don't know. They don't mean to be inconsiderate and they do love you, they just forget the tlc sometimes. I think our problems make us more sensitive at times but luckily this forum exists and the people here do know what it is like and will lend an ear

theresa4 · 30. May 2011, 17:41

If I'm honest it's the toilet thing that's worse for me. I know it's my pride but I'm 39 and can't get to the toilet in time. I can't even tell my family as I'm so embarrassed. It's just one more thing to add to my shotty life x I can barely walk. I cry everyday due to pain. I'm embarrassed. I'm piling in weight without changing my healthy diet. I sleep half the days away and the rest I'm doped up. Ive even being looking at a living will today just in case I have an accident no heroics and I'm done. my whole life has changed and I dont think I can accept it. I try but everytime I start to feel positive something knocks me down again.

fudge · 30. May 2011, 18:30

Hello Theresa, sorry you are feeling so sad and have an upset tum to deal with on top of everything else. Sending a hug for you, and maybe an idea. I understand how you feel, when my tum is playing up I keep a kitchen roll next to me, it can seem an awful long way to the nearest sink when the legs are not as fast as your tum. If you are on your own in the house a bowl of bucket next to you is fine, but :oops: when you are with people - even family.

It is hard when you feel that life is deteriorating and you are losing control of the reins and I hope that this tummy upset is a short term issue for you.

Your family are probably upset and frustrated at not being able to help you, it is hard watching a loved one suffer, also maddening that you are helpless to make ' it' better. They don't understand why this is happening to you - just as you don't.

Keep talking on here, it is not whining. I hope that soon you will feel up to giving yourself a little boost, or find some way to give yourself a little treat - try to stay positive, it,s hard I know, just don't put yourself down, none of this is your fault.

If the tummy problems continue, a visit to the doc would be good, he may be able to give you something to settle it down.

Try the kitchen roll if it vomiting that is the problem, and look at incontinence pants if is your bladder or bowel - there is a way of dealing with this a practical way.

A visit to the docs for a chat is really needed, if you can write it down and let him read it, you will find it easier than having to say words that you are so upsetting without breaking down.

Leaving you a warm hug and hope you ring the docs first thing tomorrow.

(((((())))) fudge

Poppyg1rl · 30. May 2011, 18:33

Theresa you poor love, more hugs, I'm 39 too, and feel so desperately guilty for putting my hubby and 3 children through all the cr*p that comes with having this blasted disease. It feels like it's not my body anymore? does that make sense? My life has changed SO much since march 2010 when I was first flaring and diagnosed, and you're right, you can feel like a burden. You're NOT though, you are still a fab Mum and a fab partner, you just have to deal with more pain/discomfort/embarrassment than most do.
That doesn't make you a burden, that makes you stronger than most people.
Can you get to see your GP Theresa? I think you might need an appointment to discuss the tummy trouble and also tell them how low you are feeling because of this, they need to know.
My dear, keep posting as I said before we are listening and we do care about you.
Take care xxx

constable · 30. May 2011, 20:32

Hi Theresa,

I am sorry you are feeling so bad at the moment. I have problems in the toilet area, due to diviticultiis, and I know how bad it makes you feel. You completely loose your dignity. Just remember we are all with you. And your family love you.

Karen xx

bertyboy · 31. May 2011, 02:06

morning Theresa , dont worry about unloading on here , it what makes it such a good place .i hope the tummy upset is on the way out if its not ring the DR , things like that can be draining at the best of times , be gentle with your self xx

julie47 · 31. May 2011, 03:36

Morning Theresa

I am so sorry that you are feeling so down at the moment.
I hope the tummy trouble gets better soon.
Arthur is a terrible disease, I was 25 with a new baby when the bu**_r decided to visit me. (now 48)
Arthur is always throwing obsticles in our way, you are right....two steps forward and three steps back.
When this happens write your thoughts on here (as you have done) and we will pick you up and give you a gentle push forward.

Hope today is a little better for you
Take care,
Hugs (((((())))))))
Love Juliepf x

dreamdaisy · 31. May 2011, 04:17

Someone on here recently wrote a line on a different forum that resonated with just how you are feeling. I cannot quote it, not without their permission, but its aptness is remarkable.

Arthritis doesn't just hit us, it hits our families too. It affects everyone within the family group and not always in a good way. Those without illness often don't understand it, they do not grasp how deleterious it is both physically and mentally, they cannot comprehend the damage that a long-term condition, that has no cure, can cause. Your ill-health has happened at a rate of knots, and if you were healthy before well, I cannot comprehend the devastation that brings. DD

theresa4 · 31. May 2011, 05:48

Hi Everyone
THank you for all your posts,. Margeret, Poppy, Val, Pheebs, sky, Fudge, Karen, bertyboy, JuliePF, DD

Well I rang the Gps but my doc is on leave for a week. The next doc I see is not available til this fri in a telephone appointment but i booked that anyway. My joints are still painful to walk on but a little easier than yesterday as in I havent fallen (yet).

HI DD
I was healthy before this hit me other than a few gynae problems which got sorted and meningitis when my youngest was 6month old. (that was scary) other than that been relatively well til my finger joints started getting stiff and painful in Jan 2006. It doesnt seem that long ago but it has certainly debilitated me very quickly. (and they say sero negative RA is better :shock:)

HI Karen
My Dad, Gram and sis have diverticulosis (Ive never been tested) although its not hereditary it could be a weakness in the bowel that extends it to family members. I think my GP is considering sending me for tests. :shock: as I have a few bowel problems but could be just the meds, although I cannot eat wheat/potatoes/red meats/soya as my body doesnt seem to like them.

Spoke to my older sis iin law who was going for hols to Canada, her son is 21 in July and the party is all booked. She asked how I was then when I said not good she demanded I get better for his party. I told her its not a matter of choice she said well tell the hospital to give you a steroid. Yeah I can just waltz in and demand a steroid for my nephews birthday NOT! She doesnt mean to be insensitive but boy is she.

Soem of the lads that work for us were in the office yesterday (its in the house at the back on route to my pills(safe away from kids) but the only level floor access to the pills) Their pity faces said it all weve known them for 15 years so they are used to me havinf arthritis but its probably the first time theyve seen me fighting back the tears. One of them kept asking if I was ok I just mumbled fine and kept hobbling trying to get through as quick as I could (must have looked funny as I tried to shuffle quicker) the other just turned his head away. I made them both very uncomfortable although neither were horrible but what am I supposed to say 'actually everything is really **** Im in agony (as you can see) I want to cry but my pride wont let me in front of you .......' as you can tell Im becoming a pretty bitter and twisted woman. Its just when people ask how are you they dont really want to know they are just being polite. If I started telling them they would run a mile.
Well Ive managed to take up your time again on my waffle hope you are all doing well

((()))

valval · 31. May 2011, 06:11

i do not think it that they do not want to know, it they do not know what to do for the best. you sound like an independant type of person and they do not wish to poke there noses in where you do not want them.
if you had said it a bad day today just pop and fetch this that or the other they would of been pleased there was something they could do to help but they know there is not and you do not like to show weakness in front of others.
i know because i am the same will set my arther off rather than ask for help it will be bad enough when i need lots of help at moment i can manage most things if i space it out and plan ahead (says she who has just set het chest off again trimming hedges) so next time just say it bad day hopefully it will pass and go make you mug of tea will give them something to do bless them, val

constable · 31. May 2011, 06:14

Well, if that was me I would tell them in a very direct way of the pain and everyway that you feel. At least that way they will know how they should approach you, if you get what I mean. Then it would feel easier for you as well.

Karen xx

Feeling really sad

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