"Its only arthritis"

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magicdragon
magicdragon Member Posts: 75
edited 4. Mar 2012, 08:08 in Living with Arthritis archive
Obviously, its far from it but I have received this kind of attitude so much from when I was diagnosed. Along the lines of why can't you work? its only arthritis, why do you struggle? its only arthritis.

I have got both family & friends that understand and others that don't appreciate the implications of arthritis.

I use to really care but I think over time ive hardened myself to it as ive gotten to the point that im in so much pain & so ill, im not going to waste my time. I can't say that it still isn't hurtful, annoying or upsetting.

I have to say when I got diagnosed when I was much younger I didn't pay much thought to it.... I thought that I would just get the niggles that I had then. I never dreamt it would turn out the way it did.

I found that there is alot of confusion between people like me with very active arthritis & what people perceive arthritis to be something when you get when your older and doesnt cause much grief.

Just wondered what you all think?

Comments

  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    That phrase is uttered by those who live in blissful ignorance of what having arthritis entails. I suggest this as an answer: 'Yes, you're right, it is indeed only arthritis and I hope you never discover what having only arthritis is like as I don't think you could cope.' DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Well said DD,will try that one.Mig
  • pinkbritishstars
    pinkbritishstars Member Posts: 731
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I agree with DD - her answer was spot on!

    Don't listen to what other people think, they don't know what it is like to be in so much pain every day of your life - however we DO!!

    Keep talking to us.

    Pink xx
  • DaveBoynton
    DaveBoynton Member Posts: 20
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Well said DD. I am much the same, I have family and friends that do support but because I have RA i get the same thing, why cant you open a tin of beans or why cant you wash up, very infuriating. I have started ignoring the comments although not easy when it's the job centre or DLA saying it.

    Dave
  • magicdragon
    magicdragon Member Posts: 75
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    You see the thing is I do have visible damage in my fingers and I do walk impaired and with a stick and I still get it. I think with me its because im young, I get along the lines of im young so there for must be faking it.
  • phoenixoxo
    phoenixoxo Member Posts: 625
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi magicdragon,

    I've been there too, particularly when I had a job as a legal secretary. During my interview I'd explained that there'd be days I couldn't type quickly due to arthritis in my wrists and fingers, and I told my co-workers about this too, yet a lot of people didn't take me seriously and accused me of 'just being slow'. I do feel my age had something to do with this. I started that job when I was 22 and I wonder whether some people don't want to acknowledge that arthritis happens to younger people, for their own reasons.

    I’ve had the 'It's just arthritis' line too, but I've also had people assume that things are a lot worse than they really are. Ideally they'd realise that they're judging based on little or no personal experience, but they never do! Strangers I can ignore, friends don't judge me, but it's difficult with family members who have lost touch then suddenly turn up out of the blue. I do my best to explain, but it can be sooooo exhausting – you can probably tell, I’m still recovering from a recent visit!

    As Pink says, keep talking to us,
    Phoebe
    PsA (psoriatic arthritis) and other things since 1990. Happy to help when I can :-)
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Magic, It's amazing how some people are so ignorant to facts and yes I've come across many ignoranuses! Some family, friends and strangers. I love what DD said I must use that! (note to self to add it to my memo pad on blackberry!) I all so get the line 'your too young to have Osteoporosis/ be in a wheelchair. ' And it does hurt me when people say these things and at times I've been upset by it. But you do have to sort of harden yourself to it because sadly there will always be Ignoranuses in this world.
  • magicdragon
    magicdragon Member Posts: 75
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Ive found that ppl say that with me that im 2 young. The unfortunate thing with Arthur it isnt discriminatory affects us all old & young.

    I've found that some ppl tire of u easier, along the lines of just deal with it or u can't be in a flare for that long & ppl not asking how u r etc
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    magicdragon wrote:
    Ive found that ppl say that with me that im 2 young. The unfortunate thing with Arthur it isnt discriminatory affects us all old & young.

    I've found that some ppl tire of u easier, along the lines of just deal with it or u can't be in a flare for that long & ppl not asking how u r etc

    Exactly! They never say ' how are you?' or ' how you doing?' If people asked questions about how this illness effected us we would be happy to explain I'm sure but instead they just assume and say what comes into they tiny minds!!
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I constantly get told, yes told, I'm too young for arthritis!

    When people say "it's only arthritis", I suggest you punch them and then smile sweetly and say "it's only a punch"! :D

    Or as my grandma tells me to say, you reply "did you mean to be that rude?"

    I also like DD's suggestion.
  • applerose
    applerose Member Posts: 3,621
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I knew a little about osteoarthritis and had heard of rheumatoid arthritis but didn't know what it was until I was diagnosed. I knew it was painful but not much more. People can't know everything about every type of disease. When people find out I have arthritis, they always ask "Is it in your hands or your feet. I've got it in my little finger." I explain to them that there are lots of different types and a bit about RA. They usually say they didn't know. Next time I see them, they ask how I'm getting on.
    Christine
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