What sort of forum?

stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
edited 29. Mar 2012, 11:59 in Community Chit-chat archive
I have been doing a lot of thinking over the last couple of days.

I’d like to say, at the outset, that I’ve never ‘known’ Del and I’ve never PMd him except to say yesterday that I was sorry about what was happening. I’ve no axe to grind.

Also, I belong to no other forums. I don’t tweet. AC is my only experience of such things.

I’m fairly sure that, as Aicha pointed out (see Webmaster’s thread ‘Please Read Changes to House Rule 1’) the House Rules, which we all absent-mindedly assent to when we join, would have no legal standing whatever as the terms are so woolly and imprecise. In fact, if they so wished, I suspect a small group of dedicated people could destroy the forum completely by systematically swamping the beleaguered Mods with an ongoing series of petty complaints. (Look how effectively Private Members Bills are ‘talked out’ in the House of Commons.)

It boils down to what sort of forum we want. Personally, I want an inclusive one, open to the widest possible range of arthritic people. It will mean I like some, dislike others, find some kindred souls who will become real friends and also find some fellow members who nauseate or irritate me beyond belief. I will find some people extremely shallow and others overbearing. I will find people who criticise my dearest held beliefs and mock my value system. That is life. I want kindness and consideration to predominate but I also want everyone to recognise that we all react differently to pain – some cry, some get angry, some retreat. Arthritis does not distinguish between these people so why should we?

What I emphatically do not want is a forum consisting only of people who reflect my own views, think as I do, write as I do, see the world from my own perspective and never challenge a word I say. This would be pure narcissism. Neither do I want a forum in which frightened newbies might be scared off from seeking help or solace by strident language, topics or attitudes.

My solution would be to keep six, out of the current seven forums, as closely monitored as they currently are. The seventh, Chit Chat, would actually come with an explicit warning that it is a place where members may relax together and, as such, the language may be a little more Anglo-Saxon, the opinions rather more vociferously maintained, satire, irony and cynicism may be gainfully – or ungainfully - employed and, if anyone is likely to find themselves offended by all this, they should not venture in and certainly not post anything. Those who do enter and post will be expected to take responsibility for their own actions.

I want a forum that is safe from spammers, trolls (That was a new one to me) and anyone trying to nick my personal data but not one that is disinfected, cauterised, swathed in bandages and bubble wrap and zealously protected from the slightest hint of anything to which the hypersensitive or obsessive might take exception.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
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Comments

  • daylily
    daylily Member Posts: 619
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well said sticky.........
    Couldn't agree more.....
  • sugarbuttie
    sugarbuttie Member Posts: 225
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree wholeheartedly. There needs to be a section that is not for the easily offended where people are free to air their views and exchange banter without the thought police censoring every word (without breaking the law, of course).
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well said hun :wink:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I couldn't agree more. Well said, Stickywicket, you put it so very well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mp1952
    mp1952 Member Posts: 425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well said Sticky.

    I have no idea what's been going on, but have found the forum an excellent source of information and support, and lots of laughter, over the last four years since i was diagnosed with RA.

    Marion
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hear , hear ! Jillyb
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I don't quite understand what goes wrong with this forum, We have a core number of posters who support, amuse and deliberatley provoke ina lighthearted manner.

    Then occasionally someone comes along who takes offence and the core member disappears despite the fact they give considerable enjoyment and pleasure.

    I don't 'know' delboy my only expereince of him is when he pmed me to tell i was wrong to post something. I never omplained or reacted, just listeed to his point of view to which he is entitled.
    As to what has goine on, I have no idea. I justt wish this forum was free from troublemakers who wish to spoil the pleasure of many.

    Who says we all have to agree? If you dont like a post dont read it!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • sugarbuttie
    sugarbuttie Member Posts: 225
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I would hate to see the troublemakers win, & they know who they are. This forum is for the greater good not for a small minded few who get their kicks out of spoiling things for the majority. You get these pockets of 'ne'er do wells' in every walk of life. The Forum MODs must know who they are and need to STAMP it out. MODS...do not take the view of a minority to spoil it for the masses. Your draconian measures seem to be alienating the very people who keep this forum alive.....bad move......
  • mig
    mig Member Posts: 7,154
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hear hear Sticky.Mig
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have no clue really to what is going on.
    Sticky i do agree with what you say, there should be a place for others to say what they want and then its up to the individual if they read or comment.
    There are too many rules and regulations now adays, which most of the time are not explained properly and can lead to different altercations(dont mean just AC) which really could be avoided.
    I hope the forum goes back to the place it was when i first arrived january last year. The smiles and support i recieved was great and have made some good cyber buddies. Its just that some people can deliberately try and antagonise others unecessary or will even try and goad others into a reaction, these people need to be sorted and if i can see who they are i am sure others can too.
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    if this was the first second or even third time this had happened would still feel like fighting but well it all seemed to start when new lay out etc started the feel of the forum changed i can not say why or how but it happened and fight as we might to keep it a happy helpful place every so often as with all family's some one gets rubbed the wrong way. it so hard when in pain and every day is a struggle to forgive and forget but the forum is a good place and needed, arthritis is scary and isolating so keep posting and keep looking out for each other you all make the forums what they are with out you they would not exist just be kind to each other val
    val
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Wise words, my lovely. ((()))) DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you to all who replied. We, at least, seem pretty much in agreement.

    I particularly liked suzygirl's comment that, if you don't like a post (or, I would add, a thread) don't read it. Traluvie - I think the 'smiles and support' are still there. You should know. You supply some of them. And Val, I found your post particularly moving because I know you are in a lot of pain these days and yet you never take offence and are always willing to both have a laugh and commiserate with others. We could all learn from you.

    OK, as many of you know, I find it extremely hard to 'do serious' for too long. My mind was wandering along the lines of splitting CC into two forums so here are my suggested names for both.

    Chit Chat (A)
    Charitable Chit Chat
    Charming Chit Chat
    Chaste Chit Chat
    Cheerful Chit Chat
    Chivalrous Chit Chat
    Choosy Chit Chat

    Chit Chat (B)
    Challenging Chit Chat
    Chancy Chit Chat
    Cheeky Chit Chat
    Chequered Chit Chat
    Chivvying Chit Chat
    Churlish Chit Chat

    Over to you lot.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    can we have a BACK CHAT CHIT CHAT? :D:wink:
    I'm a cheeky young scallywag as you know :wink::lol:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Stickyw
    i agree with everything you say i love this forum and the people on it we need this forum there is no where else we could go for help with arther.
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,697
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol::lol::lol: I love it, Tony. Better than any of my suggestions.

    Not 100% sure about the 'young' though : :o

    Thank you, Joan. You are so right.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • lupin15
    lupin15 Member Posts: 2,182
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Totally agree with you..
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ok, maybe I was a tad ambitious with the YOUNG tag :roll: :lol:
    In mi head I'm still only twelve :D:D
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    All I know is this site wont be the same without Del and len, getting shot of Del was the most stupid thing I've heard of in the 4 years I've been on here, he was :( so useful on working matters, it's a really sad day, one the MOD's and managers should be totally ashamed of. "Logic it seems has left the building".
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    they may yet return one day Mell. Never give up hope rkid..

    This forum is still a great place, with some great folks... I for one ain't going anywhere...
    Yeah, things are a tad boobs up but we can get things sorted hopefully..

    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • theresa4
    theresa4 Member Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well done sticky for a great post I couldnt agree more.

    Theresa
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I was one of the original forum members who actually suggested we had a chit chat zone mainly because on the Living with arthritis zone we tended to get side tracked and talk about everyday general subjects hence chit chat was born.
    I dont know whats gone on recently as I dont pop on as often but I dont like the idea of zero moderation just for the chit chat area as who knows what depths some threads may sink too!..and daft threads e.g from stupid sales of towbars from America for one clogging up the forum...I read various threads and if I dont like them dont pick up on them again..
    We are all different and we can all upset people, some do it without knowing, some do it on purpose and some do it to get some conversation going......The AC forum is friendly....also we dont know what happens/full story when other are banned etc...some who have been temporarily banned I have enjoyed their threads but someone must have been upset somewhere...I cant say its easy for the mods either.....
    Unless theres a chit chat 2?!!!!
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    CLICHE ALERT!

    At the end of the day it all boils down to the 80/20 ratio and you can't please all of the people all of the time.

    As in life some people take offence where others just shrug their shoulders and ignore.

    This forum is just a microcosm of the great big world and we have to keep things in perspective.

    Tolerance has to be the by-word we all use and remember when someone posts something objective they could be having a bad day or a bad time at home.

    I think this forum is unique in the support it offers and also in the humour from people who know what it like to suffer from a common enemy.

    People will always come and go for whatever reason and maybe, one day, Del and others like him, too many for m to mention, will come back to us.

    PS I do miss his little fly too!!! :wink:

    Luv,
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What I can't understand is when Len Del or a few other old stalwarts posted on here they'd always attract the same small band of haters who'd bait them but as normal these people have gone totally 10-7, it's always been the same when Len and Del were not contributing odd that?, saying that I'm one of the older bunch and forum friends with Del and Len so now I guess seeming I've surfaced and dare mention them I'll attract some form of baiting and or abuse soon enough if I don't then it will be a first but one I'd love to see so here's hoping!. :wink:
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Don't you worry Mell.. I'll protect you for a small 'minders fee' of course :D
    You know what I'm saying matey.. The ones who matter, care. Simple as that..

    Moderation is obviously needed, as was mentioned above, it could turn very nasty, ugly and even seedy... (yep, like the couch in the Cane & Able)... And AC isn't that kind of place.. I think lessons should be learnt from the mistakes recently made by certain folks..

    Anyway, off into docs now..
    :D
    Always good to see ya Mell :D
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP