Cause and effect?
stickywicket
Member Posts: 27,697
Some weeks ago I got a letter asking if I’d take part in an ongoing survey of falls among the elderly. It was being run by a local university in conjunction with my own orthotics department. Naturally, my first thought was that I’m not elderly (a mere 67) and my second that I don’t fall because, as very few bones in my feet move at all, I’ve to be very careful where I plant each step. However, if it would help someone I was willing to send in the pre-paid card every month, starting at the end of May, saying I’d not fallen.
Today, when putting the washing out, I tripped on the little step to the patio, executed several intricate dance steps including two beautiful twirls, one of which was a bounce off the conservatory, and then headed south, landing squarely on my left side.
My first thought was for the left TKR but I think it’s probably one of the strongest bits of me. My second thought was it might have been more sensible to actually let go of the washing, still draped neatly over my left arm, and the full peg bag, hooked over my wrist, which had provided a somewhat lumpy, bumpy, landing for my left t*t. My third thought was “Where do I go from here?”
I knew Mr SW was upstairs, out of earshot, doing things with a can of emulsion so I started the long shuffle on my bottom to the door (with no idea how I’d then get over the step but with plenty of time to work something out before I got there). Just then, the man himself appeared, paint can in hand. “What are you doing there?” he asked, looking extremely puzzled as he eyed me inching my way along the damp tarmac.
Think straws, camels and backs. "I thought I'd just sit here for a while with the washing" I snarled. “What the $*&£ing %#> does it look as if I’m doing?”
I’m happy to report that I seem to have suffered nothing worse than a very sore ½ bosom, a scraped elbow and severe damage to my ego. I strongly suspect that I, who explained to the nice lady that I never fall, shall be the only member of the survey who cosied up to the ground in the first month. Ah well, they say pride comes before one. I think a little medicinal Ardbeg might be called for.
Today, when putting the washing out, I tripped on the little step to the patio, executed several intricate dance steps including two beautiful twirls, one of which was a bounce off the conservatory, and then headed south, landing squarely on my left side.
My first thought was for the left TKR but I think it’s probably one of the strongest bits of me. My second thought was it might have been more sensible to actually let go of the washing, still draped neatly over my left arm, and the full peg bag, hooked over my wrist, which had provided a somewhat lumpy, bumpy, landing for my left t*t. My third thought was “Where do I go from here?”
I knew Mr SW was upstairs, out of earshot, doing things with a can of emulsion so I started the long shuffle on my bottom to the door (with no idea how I’d then get over the step but with plenty of time to work something out before I got there). Just then, the man himself appeared, paint can in hand. “What are you doing there?” he asked, looking extremely puzzled as he eyed me inching my way along the damp tarmac.
Think straws, camels and backs. "I thought I'd just sit here for a while with the washing" I snarled. “What the $*&£ing %#> does it look as if I’m doing?”
I’m happy to report that I seem to have suffered nothing worse than a very sore ½ bosom, a scraped elbow and severe damage to my ego. I strongly suspect that I, who explained to the nice lady that I never fall, shall be the only member of the survey who cosied up to the ground in the first month. Ah well, they say pride comes before one. I think a little medicinal Ardbeg might be called for.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
0
Comments
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Oh dear poor you!!
I blame the university they obviously wished the fall on you just so you can become a statistic
What did Mr SW say?
Hope you will not be too sore tomorrow
You should have had it filmed £250 on you've been framed :oops:
Maria0 -
Oh!! my goodness Sticky that sounds like a right sore one, it will probably be tomorrow before you feel the proper effects of your gymnastics :shock: I hope not for your sake.
I hope the feet are up for the rest of the day, I think a medicinal large one is called for remember the shock as well , hope you will not be too sore tomorrow.................tc.....Marie xxSmile a while and while you smile
smile another smile and soon there
will be miles and miles of smiles
just because you smiled I wish your
day is full of Smiles0 -
Hope you don't come out in any bruises Sticky. Good for you taking part in a some research.0
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Ouch, poor you!!!!!!!
Hope that you get plenty of sympathy and not too many bruises! Maybe a little witch hazel applied to the tender bits will help the bruises come out more quickly?
Deb x0 -
Oh dear Sticky, am so sorry to hear about your fall and hope you won't be too sore tomorrow. Think it calls for Mr SW to wait on you hand and foot. Take care. Beryl x0
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Oh poo. I am sorry, it is something which is so easily done and I hope that you have not done yourself any lasting damage. I agree with the witch hazel suggestion (arnica is another option) and I certainly endorse the mecidinal dose of summat lovely later on tonight. As for himself, well, a number of responses have sprung to my mind. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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The things you do to get attention! :roll: I hope the washing didn't get dirty.
Take it easy this evening, and have a nice drink of your choice, it's good for shock.
Don't be too hard on Mr Stickywicket, remember he's only a bloke.
I hope you're not too sore.
Take care,
Numpty0 -
Oh dear, and as already said, I hope that tomorrow morning, you don't feel the after effects. I shall keep fingers crossed for you.
It is a worry though, I remember only a couple of months ago, I did the same, falling over in the back yard. I was lucky I had my daughter with me so she was nursey for me. It is very frightening isn't it.Karen xx0 -
Sticky, hope you are feeling a bit better by now. Brandy is supposed to help shock
Once you say you never fall, that is it!! Not sure why, if I could work it out, would make a fortune :!:
Take it easy and I hope you are ok.
(((hugs)))0 -
What we gonna do with you Sticky ?Hope you're not too battered and bruised. (((()))). Mig0
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Morning Sticky, how are you this morning?
I hope you managed a good night's sleep, and don't feel as though you did a couple of rounds with Mike Tyson!
Take care, (((())))
Numpty0 -
Hope there are not too.many bumps and bruises this morning sticky and you are going to leave the gymnastics alone for a while :roll: ......take care (((())))..........Marie xxSmile a while and while you smile
smile another smile and soon there
will be miles and miles of smiles
just because you smiled I wish your
day is full of Smiles0 -
Ouch, a bruised boob & ego, not good!!
I hope ul recover quickly. Hugs.xHealing Hugs
Debbie.x0 -
Hello Sticky
i hope you dont feel too bad today. when you think of doing
gymnastics again make sure you have a mat and chairs in the right place first.
take care
joan xxtake care
joan xx0 -
I hope that things are not too sore or bruised today. I am thinking of you - having recently taken a tumble I know it does shake one up. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I’m happy to report I have no bruises and the t*tpain is easing up a bit now. I was sensible (Oh yes I was ) and had an alcohol-free evening in the end as I had a headache. I still had the headache this morning so I did a few neck exercises and discovered that, if I tipped my head as far back as I could (about 1” :roll: ) my boob hurt. This confirmed my belief that it was all jarred muscles so I prescribed for myself a pleasant afternoon in the garden listening to the cricket. Bliss!
P.S. I have been invited to join the Arthritic's Ice-Dancing Team. I got in by a triple lutz and double salchowIf at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright0
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