Just wanted to say thank you

Hope all goes really well for you Slosh. I will be thinking of you. You have contributed a lot to my posts, so want to say thank you for that. It is good feeling you are not on your own. Thanks for helping me feel not so isolated xx All the best

Slosh,its like one big family on here..like you say its helps so much to be able to talk to people that understand..good luck on your return to work..I am sure they will be tears but not a bad thing...let us know how you get on... xx

Good luck for tomorrow Slosh, I am really pleased for you on getting your blue badge every little thing helps make a difference. You also have been a great support to the forum since you joined as you understand how others are feeling, you know we are here for you anytime..............Marie x

Hi Slosh
Good luck for tomorrow.
You say you've realised how far you've come when you were happy you had got your BB
That's great.......you know this hip fracture I have {well not personally } I get so frustrated with it......its supposed to be acute and supposed to heal and it doesn't appear to be......7 months on and still on crutches. Then when I sit down and think what I can do now that I couldn't do just after it happened.....they might be small things but it makes me realise that I am moving forward all be it very baby steps
So if you ever feel down about it.....sit down and think what you can do now that you couldn't do or how you have adapted certain things to do them your way now.
Love
Hileena

I'm late but I'm thinking of you and I hope you have a good day, let time help your confidence grow and remember how great you are for being there, doing a very demanding job under very trying circumstances (((((())))))

Chin up! We all wish you well.
Fortuna

Slosh, we have only provided – or tried to provide – a bit of space where you could be yourself and come to terms with all the upheaval you've had to undergo. I hope that we have been successful but I know that you have, coping so well, with si much, in such a short space of time.

I remember still how I felt when I finally accepted I was disabled. And I'd had many more years to get used to it than you. I saw it as a chasm, separating the 'normal' people and the disabled ones and, somehow or other, I'd found myself on the wrong side.

Well done on handling your day so well. Yes, everyone has to get used to you looking slightly different but being exactly the same. They will and they'll learn something very valuable from it.

Don't be too hard on yourself, Slosh. It was a big step for you and as you've said, you're going through a difficult process of reexamining your identity. For what it's worth, I still think you are you. I always say that am still with me with a side serving of disability. It's part of me but it isn't me. It's ok to have a cry - more than ok - I think it's perfectly understandable in your situation. Be kind to yourself and take it easy. (((Slosh)))

I've always maintained that arthritis is an excellent tool for sorting out the real friends. They become closer while the not-so-real ones gradually disappear. Not everyone can handle disability. She may just need time to get around to it. If not, let's just hope she never becomes disabled herself :roll:

Slosh, I once got dropped by a group of friends due to a relationship break down. I moaned to one of my oldest friends about it and without a pause he looked at me and said 'but the world is full of people to make friends with, why feel sad for the ones you've lost? You don't know the ones you will make yet'. That has stuck with me and I live by it!

I know in my office the people who I support tend not to be the people who support me. At times I feel a bit miffed about how I pour my attention on them when requested and get my back bitten in return but karma tends to sort them out when the time comes and the three guys (and they are the guys) who unrelentingly support me, stand up for me and remember me when I am not there, ask how I am doing and generally behave in a very unblokey manner towards me and my arthritis never ever fail to put a lump in my throat and a swing in my limp with their attitudes and support. Sometimes it is tricky to sit back and take the support but they give it so readily that there's no need to not take it if that makes sense.

As for relatives struggling, I've had arthritis for 14 years, my Dad in the last 18 months or so has started to ask questions and try to understand it. My brother doesn't even acknowledge it and if I talk about it quickly changes the subject. Sometimes they just don't want to acknowledge things have changed and a bit of me wonders if sometimes they think either 'I hope it isn't me next' or possibly more the case 'I'm glad it isnt me' and the guilt of feeling that puts up a barrier towards things. Possibly too, they are terrified about what is happening to somebody they love, especially if you are a younger sister.

I think sometimes we arthritics, and I imagine this definitely applies to somebody as positive and brave as you are Hileena, get used to coping and not making a fuss and if not hiding our problems, not shouting about them.

Because we don't make a fuss I think people sometimes don't realise that we are missing the fun or that we don't join in because it isn't possible. I think people also don't know what to do or people just forget to take different needs into consideration or expect you not to mind that you can't join in. Shout I guess is all we can do! Ask for a bit of consideration and tell people you can't join in. If that doesn't work, next time there is a family day out just tell your OH to go alone, explain why and then book yourself a fab day somewhere doing something you can and will enjoy

I'm lucky in that even Mr LV doesn't want to spend time with his family and as they live on the other side of the world the issue doesn't arise too often (thank goodness). That said, you could always take a leaf from my mother in laws book, she objected to a trip to the zoo for the twin's first birthday but as we ignored her came along anyway and spent the day like a wet cloud huffing behind us, that means none of us ever want her to come back over for their birthday! It worked for her so long as you don't mind that kind of fame.
I think you more than have a good reason to avoid further events if they aren't a little more tailored to your needs. Which member of the party would enjoy themselves if they were pretty much left out of it all? Nobody looks forward to that, I think if I felt obliged due to a bit of other half pressure then I would compromise on going every other time, so once a year/ once every other year.