Depression & OA

I have a cat!

This is not a flippant comment at all; I have widespread OA (as well as other musculo-skeletal issues) and have been diagnosed with Clinical Depression and PTSD which I refuse to take medication for. I live alone, use a wheelchair, have had my driving licence withdrawn on disability grounds and rarely get to leave the house (at least I get to see my Home Help once a week). Despite being on ever-increasing doses of morphine I am in constant pain which continues to spread and continues to get worse. I have often wondered what is the point of carrying on despite being only 62 BUT I have a cat to look after who is non-judgmental when I talk to her and I could not bear being without her or wondering how she would cope without me. I read a lot, watch TV a lot and have a few hobbies that I enjoy; distraction is a primary way of trying to ignore the pain which the majority of forum members will agree is the way to go. It is much easier to go down and down when depressed rather than picking yourself up, the way to do it is to focus on what is good in your life and how lucky you are compared with others.

Hi historynut,

I read this today. It's written re covid but actually excellent practice at any time for any negativity. I fyou read it thoroughly, not just look at the headers, things are well-explained and it all makes perfect sense.

One thing I'd add re arthritis. - don't try to get away from pain as you'll be doomed to failure. Aim to find a level you can tolerate and function OK with. It will be nowhere near where you'd like it to be but you'll feel a lot better if you're not trying to do way too much. Exercise little and often and laugh a lot. It's a proven therapy.

Hi historynut, I’m sorry to hear you’re at such a low point. Double whammy of constant pain plus lockdown stress won’t be helping.

I’ve been on antidepressants for years, I simply couldn’t function much without them. I’m lucky that I’ve found ones that agree with me and the benefits far outweigh the few side effects, but even so the old black dog still bites at my ankles, some days worse than others.

A couple of times the docs decided I “needed” to try different types of meds but each time it put me under the quilt for weeks on end and I felt like someone was trying to rewire my brain (which is basically true), it was a horrendous experience.

But during those times, or when the black dog raises his head at any time, I simply have to accept that I was unwell and take the pressure off myself. Whatever tiny tasks I could do at my worst were an achievement, even if it was just getting dressed. I knew if I really needed to I could rally and put on an act of “normality”, but that’s not the same as getting better, and it’s not a solution. I still needed to treat myself as a patient awaiting recovery. But I have also learnt over the years that recovery does eventually come, and sometimes it just takes patience and self care.

I think everyone’s experience of depression is different, and it sounds like you’re already doing a lot of the right things to get through it. some of the suggestions others have made have worked for me to varying degrees at different times, but giving yourself time to accept your current limitations is important, recovery doesn’t work to a timetable. I can’t help feeling that you are trying to force your recovery, and that may be part of the problem. Ask for help and support in the same way that you do for your arther, and that may make things easier for you until you can rebalance and get back on an even keel again. Sometimes it just takes time to work it through. Xx