Just to sat Hello

Hi, I've just been directed to this website, so thought I'd say 'Hi' and bore you with my story. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis February 2020 after a few months of wondering what was happening to me.

After almost 70 years of being fit and healthy (apart from a creaky knee!) , feeling young for my age and going for brisk 3 mile walks with my dog I was in agony. My hands and legs were swollen beyond all measure, I'd just sit and shake for no reason, I'd fall asleep at the drop of a hat, everything throbbed and hurt, I spent many hours sat on the stairs crying as I didn't know how to get up them and nights were pure hell! Also lost one and half stone in a month.

Luckily my GP took blood tests and within less than a month I was seen by rheumatology , told I was anaemic and that my inflammation levels were almost off the scale, given a steroid injection (which didn't work, unfortunately) and started on methotrexate. To add to my misery I also had the beginning of osteoarthritis in my hip!

I will admit I was not in a good place - I realise now that the RA was causing me to be depressed and feeling VERY sorry for myself. Then along came lockdown ! My 30 year old daughter still lived at home - and she had recently been diagnosed with Crohns disease and was suffering from depression and anxiety - we were a happy pair. Husband is not good at the sympathy and support and with daughter needing support, too, I felt very lost - I could have done with a supportive cuddle now and again!

Methotrexate started to work by about May and things started to perk up a bit. Daughter got treated for her depression and when first lock down finished she managed to get a flat with her boyfriend, (which did lift some of the stress in the house - although I still miss her company.). At first everything seemed to be going well, regular blood tests and phone calls with rheumatology kept me on track with the RA.

My MSK appointments were all cancelled, but I had a couple of phone consultations - basically telling me to do exercises. For a few months I started to walk a bit farther, but then about November my hip started to get worse and I can hardly walk without a stick now. I use two sticks to walk the dog - (which I can only manage once a day ) which is awkward as it doesn't leave me a hand to hold a lead and I have an idiot dog! Twisting and turning in a smallish kitchen when cooking is agony and exhausts me for hours after - don't know if this is osteo or ra related! Nights are still hell and my hip sounds like two billiard balls clicking together - as for getting going after sitting, well that's not good.

At long last I have REAL appointment with MSK tomorrow - and found out about this forum/community from the letter. I was sent. Must admit I'm a bit apprehensive about tomorrow. I've tried to do the exercises suggested, but sometimes it's hard without any moral support (I mentioned husband's useless, bless him!) It would be nice to know if other people have weepy days and feel sorry for themselves, too - and then feel bad about it as there are always people worse off! Hopefully things will be positive tomorrow, anyway. Wish me luck .