A thoroughly boring, annoying, useful workout

Ideally this is a pre-breakfast game, designed to give you a gentle workout, increase your dexterity and, above all, your vocabulary To play:

1. Take out loaf of sliced bread (because you are unfit to slice your own) and just miss the kitchen unit counter sending it crashing to the floor.

2. Employ your go-to swear word, turn to fridge, remove grapes and repeat stage1!

3. Employ swear word no 2 as you gaze down at one loaf, one bunch of grapes plus an array of self-detached ones.

4. Contemplate getting the snorer out of bed but realise this would not constitute a good start to his day and could have repercussions on your own.

5. Take pick up stick from door handle and, at third attempt, raise bag with loaf to a point at which you can reach tip of packet. Hang pick up stick on oven door, grab door for balance and reach down far enough to pick up loaf and deposit it on counter.

6. Contemplate grapes and employ swear word no 3.. Pick up pick up stick, use it to grab box grapes came in, deposit on counter and, at 3rd attempt, get it upright.

7. Using stick, pick up main bunch of grapes, shedding a few more in process.. Deposit in box.. An additional swear word may be used here to accompany deep breathing exercise.

8. Contemplate individual grapes on floor. Stand on one. Search for - and find - better expletive. Begin to pick them up, one by one, and deposit in bowl on counter. Repeat 22 times. 

9. Hang stick back on door. Remove tiny bits of stalk that cling determinedly to each grape. Wash the lot thoroughly.

10. Prepare large mug of well-earned tea to go with 21 grapes, one pot yogurt, slice of toast and colourful assortment of pills.

11. Breakfast is served. Enjoy.