All I want for Christmas?.

mellman01 · 28. Dec 2010, 08:01

Well what can I say tis the season for good will to all men and woman so what do we get on here?, another go at rehab, what I cannot get my head around is why those who take offence on here don’t just stand back for one minute and look at how childish it really is, it’s like kids in a playground on here honestly it would be easier herding flippin cats!.
No one is perfect and some people don’t gel it’s how it is but how bad has it got to be that it ends with “running to teacher” to sort out a wounded ego think what it would be like if it was you who were getting stick, pride will always be a human weakness that is a stubborn mistress and will only grow if fed and nurtured.
We all suffer pain on here so you would think that fighting each other should be the last thing we should do, I mean don’t we have enough of a fight on our hands with the rest of them out there for god sake.
Honestly I give up with it all, it comes over as a concerted effort, I mean how many times has this happened now and all over the same person!?, look why don’t we come up with a better way of dealing with this so called problem, each time a person gets out of order why don’t the offended poster use a code word we all know, say just reply with one word then it would stop all the agro, if the poster who was said to be the offender then still carried on with their assault they would be wide open to the forum mods to deal with, this would also protect the accused if there was any probability of foul play being active ie if the offender then moved off to other posts to avoid any further upsets only to have the other party follow them and bait them up they would then also be exposed as to their real intentions ie to cause a fight
We should also have more formal rules to deal with this kind of thing, before it goes all ballistic as it seems to now.
If this can’t be stopped this forum could well turn into a tight little clique akin to a knitting circle who could wel rule it by fear and political correctness and I for one will be off it it does go down that route I'll just go over to face book and coms with those on here who want to chat normally without any politics messing things up, I am nearly 50 and I may be a bit of a daft bugger but I am no fool and I don’t like bullies from either camps it's pathetic really and petty minded, happy furking Christmas one and all!.

Colin1 · 28. Dec 2010, 08:24

Well said Mell
Although i have just come back there where times in the past that i felt like leaving the site because of the same problem. Not
to me but one or two others getting bullied or stalked for an online argument. People come here for support and meet people in simular situations. As you say most of the people who use this site are suffering in one way or another. They can do without the added stress of wanting to use the site and feeling uncomfortable or indeed abused. It is hard not to rise to the bait of these type of people and in open forums this sort of thing might well happen, The other problem is that you get one or two people who take things a little to serious and what starts as a joke can get out of hand, then there are those who take things out of cotext. We are all different and the long term users of the site get to know each other and thier boundries.

tkachev · 28. Dec 2010, 10:25

I haven't seen anyone have a go at Rehab. Quite the contrary.But if someone went to the mods privately then it is their right according to the forum rules. Press the button and the mods get involved. Isn't that what we wanted? If you disagree with the mods decision on Rehab's future postings I suppose you are allowed to say so.Do you disagree with the person complaining? Or the treatment of Rehab?

Elizabeth

valval · 28. Dec 2010, 14:59

hi mell from another almost 50, well said.
it does spoil the whole feel of the forum. if i ever upset anyone i should hope that they would just tell me as i would never knowingly hurt another poster but we all from time to time post with out reading what we have put and it might not read as we ment it to.
we are adults and should be able to comunicate with each other and only use mods as a last resort. that is my opinion i know others will not agree but that is ok we are all different and entiteled to our own opinion's val

suncatcher · 28. Dec 2010, 15:08

I haven't seen anything on site but i hope he comes back. I think things can get tricky as we cannot really know a person not really and typing things as you cannot see expressions etc. things can get wrongly taken pretty quickly and once people are hurt however unintentionally, trust is broken. I just hope what ever has taken place can be rectified. This is a great site with great people on it. x Joanne

lupin15 · 28. Dec 2010, 18:38

Hi
I am confused or my head is up my.......have i missed something????/// whats going on?????? I must admit rehab has not been around for a while......OK what have you done with him???Or is he on holiday somewhere nice and hot???

tkachev · 29. Dec 2010, 05:43

Elizabeth

mellman01 · 29. Dec 2010, 07:04

tkachev wrote:

Okay I remember now. Rehab suggested a fellow forum user was batting for the other side. If I am correct this sort of comment is against the forum rules. I hope this is why the MODS have stepped in and are monitoring Rehabs future posts. I will comment on the other thread now,

Elizabeth

And that's it!!????, binned for that!, ye gods people have no sense of perspective these day's, PC or what!, look I have close friends and closer relatives that travel on the other bus, play for the away team, walks light in their loafers etc doesn't make me guilty of homophobia for saying the above does it?, I really wonder if the politically correct lunacy we are faced with today is doing more harm than good, I get called all kinds of names at work such as baldy Q ball cripple etc but I don't go storming out crying like a baby, that's because in a way they are true I'm a bald cripple!, oh Q ball is due to my head being as smooth as a billiard ball I also get call Oz for Ozram light bulb because of the shine I can live with it, if we keep going down this totally stupid and pathetic route where every little word offends some bleeding heart we will all end up being just a grey mass of automatons with no face no name no sexual preference gender or faith.
Ye gods I've been called a poof bender limp wrist etc it's not true so I just laugh at it, it's so crazy these day's we can't even refer to the 7/7 bombers as Islamic fundamentalist even though they were, and if you still refuse to accept this simple truth then I suggest you should go and talk with the Talib's AKA the Taliban as they think they are, and those who follow them think they are as well otherwise they wouldn't be shouting Allah akbar ie god is great each time they take part in a bombing or military act, and there's another anomaly the term terrorisum, the PC brigade use it instead of Islamic fighter warrior solider etc but it's really a derogatory term that's been used badly to suggest these people only commit murder purely for the sake of just doing so with no religious motivation well that's the PC BBC's view
But if you could ask one of them what label they would consider fits them best I would bet you anything it would be either Jihadist or Holy Islamic warrior and certainly not a simple terrorist.
well now I'm in the do do but so be it I see the world as it is warts and all but then using the term wart has now offended someone with one so I can't win can I, and if you can't win then there's really no point in taking part in the first place is there.

tkachev · 29. Dec 2010, 15:13

Okay Mell I have deleted my posts because Rehab has made it clear that he was not making such a suggestion about a fellow poster. I am sorry if I misunderstood you Rehab. i have already posted an apology but it got deleted. The retort must have meant something else.

Elizabeth

mellman01 · 30. Dec 2010, 06:05

Thanks Elizabeth

I really appreciate your honesty, I'm not sure if Len is still wandering these halls right now, I'll try and find out where he's at!.
Oh and Happy new year to you and yours and to all those on here, another year nearly clocked off!, where does all the time go I wonder, it seems only yesterday that I was 21 and had long black hair now I'm bald as a badger and the only hair I can grow comes out me ears!.

tkachev · 30. Dec 2010, 06:29

mellman01 wrote:

Thanks Elizabeth

I really appreciate your honesty, I'm not sure if Len is still wandering these halls right now, I'll try and find out where he's at!.
Oh and Happy new year to you and yours and to all those on here, another year nearly clocked off!, where does all the time go I wonder, it seems only yesterday that I was 21 and had long black hair now I'm bald as a badger and the only hair I can grow comes out me ears!.

The trouble is on this forum we read what we read and each comment comes across differently to each user.
Rehab did PM me and asked me to make it clear and apologise but I don't really do PMs as I prefer things to be out in the open on the forum.
Happy New Year Mell. Yes another year older and fatter and more wrinkly. Lovely.

E x

mellman01 · 30. Dec 2010, 07:02

Yes I know what you mean it's a tricky old game posting on here I have messed up a few times but luckly I have good freinds on here who told me both times what a daft bugger I had been so I appologised straight away I didn't mean to cause upset but I can stick me foot in me mouth quite easily some times!!.
I can't speack for everyone but for me I find the pain can lead my mind temper etc, it(the pain) is not obvious to me straight off it creeps in and is not like anything I have had to deal with before I had OA, but I now know the warning signs are that I can't settle or concentrate I become snappy and agitated, also my moods go all up and down but it can still take me a day to clock what's going on but it's more than enough time to do damage to those around me, now when when I do clock what's going on I tend to keep away from anythhing that might set me off, it's not easy but it's the reason I go off line on here some times best for me and those on here that I do, and boy can I dig a big hole when I get going!. :oops:

tkachev · 30. Dec 2010, 08:56

We can all dig very big holes Mell.I agree about the moods. I can be miss reasonable but other times miss- don't -mess -with- me depending on pain and how much struggling I have had to do throughout the day.

Elizabeth

katekelly · 30. Dec 2010, 09:47

tkachev wrote:

We can all dig very big holes Mell.I agree about the moods. I can be miss reasonable but other times miss- don't -mess -with- me depending on pain and how much struggling I have had to do throughout the day.

Elizabeth

Wait until you reach "That Age" Elizabeth - mood swings smood swings! - mine are epic in their proportion - so as you can imagine add pain mood swings plus "age" mood swings equal one very large headache for all and sundry!! I wondered why Bernie put a 'tin hat' on his Christmas list - I thought he a new bike helmet to go with his new bike!!!!

tkachev · 30. Dec 2010, 10:46

Kate I am older than you! Haven't reached that stage yet thankfully. Funnily my OH has one of those British Army tin hats .

Elizabeth

valval · 30. Dec 2010, 10:55

i am at that age and it does lead to stress and temper even though i do not admit it to those around me i hope that we are all adults and can say that upsets me please explaine your point of view for me so i might try to understand and do hope i am big enough to apolagise (even if can not spell it) to any one who i have caused hurt hugs to all and have great new year val

mellman01 · 30. Dec 2010, 12:12

Hi Val and Elizabeth well I thought it was just me that had those kinds of moods from the pain, I have noticed over the time since I've had OA that it really creeps in almost silently at first, I also find it really puts me in a dark frame of mind again this creeps in and slowly builds with the progression of the pain, once it's gone everything is fine in fact I go slightly hyper mood really up!?, and normally once this happens I also feel a total fraud when trying to talk to people, as I say you have to have it to understand it that's about as much as I say these days, one thing though no one at work ever asks me how I am I get told to do this do that and never asked can I manage doing it, when I say I might have a problem with it I get treated like I'm faking things does me head in., even freinds can be off'ish with me, what a bugger it all is!.

tjt6768 · 30. Dec 2010, 15:53

As stated Mell, people don't really understand unless they're going through it, don't get me wrong I'm not sticking up for them idiots you work with, I know what's been going on, you know I've offered to come down with the lads and a few machetes for ya! Lol..
I really hope Rehab does start posting again, maybe he just needs a break.. Of he's read any of these posts he'll know how we all stand..
Think I said it before but I'll say it again... If anyone is EVER offended by me PLEASE pm me straight away and I will explain what I meant because I can say without a doubt that I wouldn't offend anyone on purpose, I'm really not that kind of person..

All I want for Christmas?.

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