the party didnt go to plan

princess935 · 28. May 2011, 20:15

well i was really looking forward to this party tonight (sat), had injections fri, left knee no pain, right knee still sore, i only sat there at the table didn't even dance and i had the most awful pain in my left knee, so have come hom early, and decided i am not ever going to go out ever again, its torture watching your mates dance and not being able to do it too, then people saying oh dont be a bore get up and dance.

At 33 i resigned to the facat my party days are well over. Was really looking forward to tonight and wish i had never gone

livinglegend · 28. May 2011, 22:07

Hi Princess

I do sympathise with your problems at the party. It is never easy when something happens like that and it is a real upset for anyone. Sometimes friends don't realise how painful life can be for us, they are fit and well and think that you are the same. You are certainly NOT boring and are brave to have made the effort to go.

You did the right thing by sharing your problems on here as we understand just how it feels. I do hope things improve for you and that you can soon feel better about yourself.

theresa4 · 29. May 2011, 01:55

Hi
I know how you feel I too find it frustrating to watch on as others dance. The pain and exhaustion of just getting ready is e ough to finish me off. Then friends saying oh come on as they go to dance is enough to make you feel awful. But the truth of it is they just don't understand how painful and exhausting the condition is. Just because you're young doesn't mean it's not as bad but they can't see that. To help your friends understand try getting them to read the spoons theory you can google it. It is by a lupus sufferer but it is appropriate for anyone with chronic disease. Some won't read it but you can't force the issue some will never understand. It would be good for you to read it to appreciate your own limitations and stop being so hard on yourself. You could have stayed home but you gave it a go you are very brave. You take care sending you (((((()))))

frogmorton · 29. May 2011, 03:02

Hi Princess

l am with Del on this one.....don't give up!!!!!

There WILL be days when you CAN go to parties and days when you have to pace yourself more like last night.

I am so sorry you had to go home early and at 33 that will feel a bit much. I am glad you posted on here too and hope you do feel less alone

Love

toni xx

constable · 29. May 2011, 03:28

Everyone has already given you some very good advise. I just want to say, stick with it and there will be times that you can dance. There will be times that you feel really good. Just keep going as you are. I am sending you big, gentle hugs. Good on you for trying.

Karen xx

valval · 29. May 2011, 03:49

please do not feel so bad your friends just do not understand no one can who has not suffered with arther but you might feel better when they get your meds sorted i never used to go out a year ago it was just to much for me just wanted to sleep when get in from work but a year on i do go out from time to time and enjoy it you do have to play it by ear on how you are feeling but life is not over you might have to pick and choose what you use your energy on i only go to what i really want to now why waste energy on things that are not important to you i find i need a cushion with some chairs so always carry blow up one with me just incase helps a lot (from pound shop) val

julie47 · 29. May 2011, 06:30

Sorry that your evening didn't go to plan for you and you came home early. Like the others have said please don't give up going out as next time you may be able to do a little dance.

Take care
Juliepf x

princess935 · 29. May 2011, 06:42

thanks for the support guys.

My left knee is swollen this morning, right knee just a little, think i may have over done things yesterday day time, should have just chilled out, but when you have a 5 year old and couple hours work in between its hard. But i have learned a lesson i think, that when a doctor tells you to rest, then i will and gets my son to stay with his dad for a couple of nights.

I am going to bum shuffle round the house today, only kidding, im not sore today, well have only got up to make a coffee and come back to bed, so might be later, but just going to chill out completely.

Oh and about my dla, you know it was refused, they didnt get report from rheumy so went to gp, who didnt get the letter about my condition. Well i asked for a copy of gp report, as i thought well if they dont know about my arthritis and hypermobilty they prob did a rubbish report. It happens that the gp, she is the one that originally referred me to rheumy, put on the form that i suffer pain every day, that it is moderate to severe, disabling me, that it restricts me looking after my son, is likely to get worse. Also that my kidney disease is life long, daily meds for life, symptoms every day.

I aslo got a copy of my form i originally sent , and i dont think i told them enough about how it effects me, i sent that 4 months ago and things have gone drastically downhill since then.

So although my form wasnt brill, the gp's told then it was moderate to severe, so surely they should have awarded something.
Oh well, sent dla a 7 page typed letter this week all about how it effects me, and going to get copy of rheumy letters to send to then. In their letter yesterday they said i hav til 16 june to send evidence in. I am also going to write to then again formally asking them to re send rheumy report letter as they didnt receive it. This was if they dont it will look bad on thenm if it went to tribunal.

Anyway thanks you lot xx take care xx

ironic · 29. May 2011, 07:23

Hi Princess,
Aw I am sorry about the party, so disappointing for you. Everyone has given you good advice and it is about pacing yourself. As Theresa said I hope the spoon theory helps with both you and your friends. You only had the injections on Friday and to be honest it is better if you rest as much as possible over the next few days to give it chance to work. Don’t give up flower you are still you and it is nice to dress up and a catch up with your friends. Hang on in there, it takes time but you will find a balance.
Good luck with the DLA.
Gentle hugs,
Lv, Ix

tkachev · 29. May 2011, 08:05

Hi Princess, i spend most of my nights out sitting at the table but I still enjoy the atmosphere and talking to people(although a bit deaf so that is a problem too).
Your friends will get used to you saying you can't dance eventually but it is still nice to show your face. If however you are in awful pain it isn't very enjoyable. I often let my OH go out alone so as not to spoil his fun.

I hope you can get your pain sorted soon so you start to be able to enjoy your evenings out a bit more.

Elizabeth

tjt6768 · 29. May 2011, 08:20

Hi Princess.
Oh boy, I'm with Del, used to love a boogie.. I'm now used to the fact that it's not to be, I was a similar age as you when things went downhill as far as going to parties etc was concerned.. Sounds bad but you do learn to adjust, folks will eventually realise that you are not being a kill joy..
Sorry, I did want to write more of a supportive post but my mitts are hurting more each bloody minute :evil

Catch you again soon hun, look after yourself...

kneegirl · 29. May 2011, 14:04

hugs Princess - you will have other times to go out with your friends :-)

princess935 · 29. May 2011, 14:12

im thinking that maybe next time, i will be designated driver, then i can have the pain killers the rheumy gave me the other day (tramadol) and then wont be in pain or less pain, then that way i may be able to have a little dance. I think that is the way forward.

tjt6768 · 29. May 2011, 14:23

I usually end up stuck as Des... Does wear thin after a while, not because I miss the drink, been t-total for many years, it just dies get old hat...
Hope that you've driven on the meds already and are alright. I know for some the tramadol can be a bit strong, if that's the case, not advisable to drive hun.. Hope I'm not coming across patronising, just want you to be safe while driving..
Personally I've more or less given up on the going out business, I'm a proper old fart who would rather be at home with a cup of tea watching Dexter or Spartacus... Lol
I can't do with the whole crap that comes doing with a night out now... Avoid Leeds like the plaque for sure, just idiots drunk wanting to fight the world, I'm way too old for that malarkey...

princess935 · 29. May 2011, 14:34

thanks tjt6768, your not patronising, i didnt even think about how it may effecit driving, i took one earlier and felt fine, but still had a sore knee so took another, doc said i can take 1-2 3 times a day, the 2nd one has make me feel, not drowsy as such but a bit different, so not best to drive if i have 2, maybe just have one if i am going out.

Im just thankful there is a pain killer i can now take, i have been trying to manage on nothing but paracetamol because of my kidney disease, i wasn't allowed the others, at one point i was taking naproxen, it was really wonderful, it worked and didnt get any side effects, but that was promptly stopped when they realised about my kidneys.

I think i really need to be driving rather than drinking, i only ever go out once a month or something, and dont drink any other times, so its not like im going to miss it.

So thats decided, anyone want a life just call me lol

xx

tjt6768 · 29. May 2011, 14:41

Lol
As long as you are careful with the painkillers then mi dear.. enjoy your nights out hun.

the party didnt go to plan

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