I have a gorilla in my house!!

Starburst
Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
edited 19. May 2013, 08:36 in Living with Arthritis archive
Acquiring a disability is a bit like getting home to find there's a gorilla in your house. You contact the approved and official channels to get rid of infestations of wild animals (in this case, the NHS) and they umm and aah and suck air in through their teeth before saying something roughly equivalent to "what you've got 'ere, mate, is a gorilla, and there ain't really a lot what we can do about them, see..." before sending you back home to the gorilla's waiting arms.

The gorilla in your house will cause problems in every part of your life. Your spouse may decide that (s)he can't deal with the gorilla, and leave. Your boss may get upset that you've brought the gorilla to work with you and it's disrupting your colleagues, who don't know how to deal with gorillas. You're arriving for work wearing a suit the gorilla has slept on. Some days you don't turn up at all because at the last minute, the gorilla has decided to barricade you into the bathroom or sit on you so you can't get out of bed. Your friends will get cheesed off because when you see them - which isn't often, because they don't want to come to your house for fear of the gorilla and the gorilla won't always let you out - your only topic of conversation is this darn gorilla and the devastation it is causing.

There are three major approaches to the gorilla in your house.

One is to ignore it and hope it goes away. This is unlikely to work. A 300-lb gorilla will sleep where he likes, and if that's on top of you, it will have an effect on you.

Another is to try and force the gorilla out, wrestling constantly with it, spending all your time fighting it. This is often a losing battle. Some choose to give all their money to people who will come and wave crystals at the gorilla, from a safe distance of course. This also tends to be a losing battle. However, every so often, one in a hundred gorillas will get bored and wander off. The crystal-wavers and gorilla-wrestlers will claim victory, and tell the media that it's a massive breakthrough in gorilla-control, and that the 99 other gorilla-wrestlers just aren't doing it right due to sloppy thinking or lack of committment. The 99 other gorilla-wrestlers won't have the time or energy to argue.

I have known people spend the best years of their life and tens of thousands of pounds trying to force their gorillas to go away. The tragedy is that even if it does wander off for a while, they won't get their pre-gorilla lives back. They'll be older, skint, exhausted, and constantly afraid that the gorilla may well come back.

The third way to deal with the gorilla in your house is to accept it, tame it, and make it part of your life. Figure out a way to calm your gorilla down. Teach it how to sit still until you are able to take it places with you without it making a scene. Find out how to equip your home with gorilla-friendly furnishings and appliances. Negotiate with your boss about ways to accomodate, or even make use of, your gorilla. Meet other people who live with gorillas and enjoy having something in common, and share gorilla-taming tips.

People get really upset about this and throw around accusations of "giving up" and "not even trying". They even suggest that you enjoy having a gorilla around because of the attention it gets you (while ignoring the massive pile of steaming gorilla-turds in your bedroom every morning and night, not to mention your weekly bill for bananas). The best way to deal with these people is to smile and remind yourself that one day, they too will have a gorilla in their house.


Author Unknown

Comments

  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love it Starburst. Thanks for posting.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • PatriciaH
    PatriciaH Member Posts: 77
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Absolutely brilliant. That really made me smile :) Thank you....x
  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    That is so clever ! What a lovely way to think of the way your life changes , really made me giggle . Jillyb
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's a great analogy, Starburst. Thanks for posting it. I checked it out & it seems to have been written by 'batsgirl' for a blog and first aired on the BBC's 'Ouch' (disability) site.
    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • nanasue
    nanasue Member Posts: 465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Fantastic, really cheered me up and what a wonderful way to think about this rubbish and how to deal with it.

    Sue x
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Loved reading that, it made me smile and also brought across as to why there are always far more bananas in our fruit bowl than other fruit :shock: :lol: (my hubby does the weekly shop :lol: )

    juliepf x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    This is the link incase the Moderators feel that the posting that has been copied and pasted is too long. I would not wish it to disappear.

    http://batsgirl.blogspot.com/2008/04/gorilla-in-your-house.html

    It was a great read, thank you for posting it, Starburst. :wink::)

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you so much for posting the link Elna. I found it on another forum and it didn't give an author so I assumed it was unknown. Thanks again.

    Glad you guys like it. I thought it was fab.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    (((hugs to you))) Starburst :)

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • SheilaD
    SheilaD Member Posts: 201
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Just home from work absolutely worn out. Your post made me smile and made me feel a lot better.

    Thank you Elna

    Love n hugs
    SheilaD xx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sheila

    You should be thanking Starburst, it was she who started the thread and yes, it is a good read. We are both pleased that it made you feel better on a Friday evening. :)

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • Nat4
    Nat4 Member Posts: 9
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    This is fantastic! So clear and so true!! I'm thinking of printing it out and putting it on the wall of my staff room, is that a good idea?! :lol: I've recently been diagnosed with RA, suffering somewhat at the moment. This story was just what I needed, thank you!!
  • snowdrop123
    snowdrop123 Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The analogy is brilliant thanks for posting it.
    I just hope that my gorilla isn't thinking of asking anymore of his chums round. :lol:
  • suzygirl
    suzygirl Member Posts: 2,005
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Brilliant, thank you for sharing :D
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for bumping the post, Nat. It gave me a smile after a tough few days with the RA gorilla. ;)