am I soft

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ImGazhughes
ImGazhughes Member Posts: 18
edited 2. Jun 2015, 17:06 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi. Been on here some time ago and was about to go for an operation but didnt, it must have been over 5 years ago. Any way I was going to go for an operation, I have osteoarthritis in left ankle I had all the treatment until the doc said there is nothing but the operation left. As I was contemplating whether or not to get cut open I went to see a chap who does hollistic therapy and it was brilliant, he gave me so much pain relief and it was non intrusive. Unfortunately it was at a cost of 45 pound a session. 2 years on roughly this even stopped working and the pain got worse, to the point where my ankle was slipping? Which made me stumble and let out a high pitch shreek lol. Im a very active relatively fit 36 year old and like to be on my feet, I do my own work and have recemtly spent a year doing my 3rd house up, from electics, decorating, restoring old to new and the latest new deckin. The point to that is that the pain is managed by pain killers, but they never really get rid of the pain completely but now im just in continuous horrid pain night and day, sitting or standing and evn wheb on my morphine. Im now at a loss im always quite happy and luv laghing but now its all false, im grumpy forgetfull, tierd havent had a full nights sleep in 10 years I bet but still get up and go, I have a six year old and he dosent understand when I say sorry daddy cant play right now my bad foot is hurting, it breaks me having to say that. I still do the cooking for all 3 of us, tidy, wash up work full time in an office but this pain is ridiculous now :-. my partner has never really understood she will always be asking me to do stuff even after ive said im in pain, or after ive done a day of say paintin, decorating I will sit down in clear agony and she will be like, can you just put this curtain pole up...crazy l. She said to me the other day, her friend is going for a spine fusion, and that she feels sorry for her. Well I have been offered a fusion so I replied wow bless her it makes me worry about mine, and she replies with a sniger I think hers is a little bit more servere babe?? It just makes me think, am I soft- I now this pain is real and is servere, nit just that its chronic its all the time, surely it doesnt matter if its your leg back hand or ankle its servere chronic pain??? Is it just that still after 8 years she doesnt understand or does she actually not giv a dam?? Or is it me..anyway I just wanted to get this off my chest and rejoin this group as I should be having my ankle fused in June..thanks everyone x

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  • [Deleted User]
    [Deleted User] Posts: 3,635
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi ImGazHughes,

    Welcome to the forum, I'm one of the moderators, it's our job to help you use the forum so if you have problems posting let us know :D

    I'm sure you will get some support soon, weekends can be a little quiet. Have a look around the forums - you can search the posts to find others who have had spinal fusion, the search window is at the end of the pink bar near the top of each page.

    Take care
    Mod Yx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello, you're not soft, far from it. Those who don't live with any form of pain do not understand it and life is easy for them. They are the ones who fall apart after a couple of days of toothache, which can usually be fixed. We're living with 'toothache' in our joints and no matter what we do the pain will not do away. it may be slightly eased by pain relief but that's it.

    Any form of arthritis is degenerative and progressive and this is what yours has done. My hope is that the fusion will sort it once and for all so please let us know how you get on - good luck with the operation and I hope it makes the difference that it should. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello ImGazHughes..and welcome form me..phew you really did need to get that off your chest..you are certainly far from being soft, it took me 4 years to decide to have my hip replaced..its scary stuff especially when you haven't had an op before...but I went ahead and glad I did..it went better than I thought ..and need the other doing but have back probs so it will be delayed till I that is sorted.we have had few that have had ankle fusions and it went well so they dont post anymore ..I do wish you well with it all..and hopefully you will let us know how it goes..
    Love
    Barbara
  • Helenbothknees
    Helenbothknees Member Posts: 487
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi ImGazHughes. My arthritis history was a little similar to yours, except it was my knees not my ankle. Pain, diagnosis of OA, then tried various complimentary therapies. They worked for a few years, then the pain came back and got progressively worse. Several years on, I was taking far too many painkillers, which didn't really work, and almost unable to walk.

    Finally, about three years ago, I started trying to get knee replacements. I was scared they might go wrong, but I didn't have much to lose by then. I got an NHS cancellation slot and got my knees done fairly quickly, both at once. To cut a long story short, it's changed my life. I now walk miles, swim, dance, do yoga, dig the garden, and...well, anything else I feel like really - except running, which is banned.

    So I'd say go for it! I can't guarantee it'll work, no-one can, but surgery itself isn't that bad, and if it's successful you'll get your life back!

    I'm not on here very often now, since I consider myself 'cured'. I suppose I may get OA in other joints some day, but I refuse to think about that now. But I'll try to drop in from time to time, in case you want to ask about operations in general.
  • jamart
    jamart Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi imGazhughes sorry your other half isn't very understanding, my husband is quiet good with me, good job really :D . I have oa in my left subtalor joint (that's the joint under the ankle joint). This time last year I had a steroid injection in the joint...it didn't help and was very painful. So the only option was a subtalor fusion operation, which I had on the 5th January this year. I was in a non weight bearing pot for 7 weeks, then a air cast boot for a further 6 weeks non weight bearing, then 2 weeks part weight bearing. Then last Monday I was given the go ahead to fully weight bear as the bones had fused. I haven't had any pain as such since the op just twinges, even straight after I had no pain, but they did give me a total pain block from the knee down for 24 hrs. The problem is I couldn't do anything much, I had to keep it elevated above waist height for the first couple of weeks, then kept having to keep it up as much as I could. There's not much you can do when your on crutches especially nwb, So my husband has been very good doing all the cooking, cleaning, etc and working full time! Don't know how I would have managed without him. I'm slowly walking now still with crutches, no pain! But I am getting a lot of swelling, maybe trying to do to much! You certainly are not soft, it's hard having to put up with constant pain and just a day without it would be a relief, it will be a long recovery time from the op but well worth it I think, all the best with your operation.
  • ImGazhughes
    ImGazhughes Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi all, thank you for replying some really good advice and stories. Good to listen to people with in a similar situation amd the successful outcome of your operation its a confidence booster. I guess really I was looking for advice from people in the same situation, I knew I wasnt soft it just gets frustrating when nobody gets why you have to say no you cant do that right now as im in pain, I feel lile ppl think im using it as an excuse, and Im to proud to ever do that. Anyway some good points so thankyou. Mine is also left subtailor so hope my op goes as well. Its just good to speak to ppl who understand so thanks again to all, im back on the 13th of may where he said if I have given up smoking he will book me in for the op. Im clean off the **** since the day after that appointment so heres hoping. I will keep you all updated thanks x
  • jamart
    jamart Member Posts: 27
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hope all goes well for you, and if you go ahead with the op make the most of it, I have. I'm always running about after people and never rely on others but I have thoroughly enjoyed having others do the running after me for a change, and yes I have played on it! :lol: if there's anything you would like to know give us a shout!
  • GraceB
    GraceB Member Posts: 1,595
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good luck with this. I can identify with you as I too am looking at a subtalar ankle fusion and again (isn't this odd?) it's my left ankle.

    I am dreading having to have this done because of the post-op issues which I won't go into here as I don't want to hijack your post.

    Please keep posting on this forum; everyone on her has been a tremendous help and support to me. Please let us know how you get on.

    Take care,
    GraceB
    Turn a negative into a positive!
  • hamilton10
    hamilton10 Member Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi, new to this forum. I too have severe arthritis in left ankle, I've had it for a long time and it is debilitating. I am in my early 50s, not overweight and perfectly healthy, I cannot walk for any length of time at all, cannot walk down the stairs normally in the morning and the pain is constant although sometimes worse than other times. I have resisted the fusion operation so will be interested to hear how you get on. The only thing that helps me is Adidas Gazelle trainers which are the only comfortable thing to wear - since I teach fashion to university students, shoes are a bit of a big deal!
  • ImGazhughes
    ImGazhughes Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hey hamilton. Thanks for tje response its funny really as ive always been quite tight whwn buying trainers i love footwear but always go for the cool but cheap ones. I since bought some nike air max 95s and havent looked bak, they in no way take away the pain but hell they are comfy and fit like gloves, best 115 i ever spent. Thanks all fpr the replys, only 3 weeks to go till my opp :(. Im so tired now just need it done, cant sleep drive to work is like im spaced out, anyone else a chronic insomniac?? Im quick to fall asleep as im always knackered but wale up all the time have to sit at the end of the bed doin exercises. The girlfriend and i are still arguing about it as apparently im always moody. How do you explain to someone that ive got a face on or am not in the mood for chatting cos im ti err d or in agony??? Not as if i dont try :)thanks
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gaz, good to hear from you again, not long till your op. I'm afraid you can't really explain to someone who hasn't experienced it the problems you face with fatigue and pain, and have them understand. I'm wondering if your girlfriend is not viewing the operation in quite the same positive light you are, and this is contributing to her lack of sympathy. After all, it seems to me from what you've posted previously that you contribute a great deal in practical terms to the running of the family and household, and the post-op period is going to limit that significantly.
  • dibdab
    dibdab Member Posts: 1,498
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gaz, I think the problems sleeping aren't at all unusual for us with rubbish joints :? , it's certainly part of my life, and it wears you down feeling constantly weary. Yes it is really difficult for our nearest and dearest to understand, after all they are living on the edge of it but not feeling it......I'm sure my hubby struggles to understand though we've being trying to deal with my RA for around 10 years now... we keep taking the meds and doing what the medics suggest, but it doesn't go away.....I think for my hubby the frustrations are about seeing me struggle and not being able to make it right or better for me, and also the limitations it creates for what we can do when we're out and about together.

    I have no solutions to offer, other than trying to explain to your partner how the lack of sleep makes you feel. I really hope the forthcoming surgery gives you substantial relief and that things get easier for you.

    Deb xx
  • LynneS
    LynneS Member Posts: 26
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gaz
    Your post has been quite thought provoking for me. My hubby suffers from OA in his foot. He's very stoic like yourself, just getting on with it, and I don't think I truly understood how difficult it is for him sometimes until I joined this forum and read posts like yours. Perhaps you could share some of the threads on here with your partner, it may be a way of helping her understand?
    Good luck with the op, I'll be following with interest as I may have to dig out my nurses outfit for my hubby in the future :wink:
  • ImGazhughes
    ImGazhughes Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hey lynnes.
    Took your advise, not just cos of what you said but I've just spoken to our occupational health service who said I should talk and share things more. The trouble is and I'm not afraid to say it on here but when I talk to people about how it affects me I cry lol and I just can't help it, I'm a tuff lad but this breaks me when I physically talk about it. Anyway I just showed the post to her her, waited in suspence and all she said was " ha, sorry she doesn't understand" assuming she was reading someone's reply?? Anyway she then gave me the phone back and went upstairs so I'm confused now?? Maybe she feels bad or maybe she's annoyed I've been talking about her, who knows. Well thank you though for your reply either way I'll let you know the outcome........and God I wish she wud get a nurse outfit for my op, your man is lucky :) thanks
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