FED UP OF PEOPLES COMMENTS

mrsmopp

Im so fed up the day of folks comments. Iv had a TKR and still limp quite badly. Try and go for a walk most days down the street. Went for a walk today and met this person who came up to me and said, "thought you would be less cripple now that you have your new knee" it really got to me. Came home and had a wee greet to myself. Hubby said i should have said to them, "i see that diet isnt working" People can sometimes be so insensitive

vonski

Hi

Some people can be so insensitive, sometimes I manage a quick reply, I liked your hubbies Other times I just want to get home and lock myself away. When I've calmed down and thought about it I know that these people are just ignorant but they can still hit the target. I just wish that they had to walk in our shoes for a week or even a day.

Years ago I was told I would never walk again, after much effort I managed. At a physio session one old dear informed me I walked like I'd messed myself :oops: I was eternally grateful for that :x

Try not to let this comment put you off going out

Love
Vonski x

eckstardeluxe

I know MrsMopp. With me when I say I have arthritis "but you're so young" like I don't know my own age. Or the "that's a disabled space you know" I usually have a witty list of retorts but someone last week got a very blue response from me, I was having a bad day mobility wise and to hear that after struggling to get my shopping in my car, I just let rip. :oops: Felt awful when I got home but my hubby said maybe they'll think twice next time.

"a wee greet" are you a Scottish Mrs Mopp?

elnafinn

Dear Mrs Mopp

I am aghast. I cannot believe that someone would say that to you. Who the heck was this person? That is such a good retort by your husband, shame he had not been with you at the time. I hope you will be ready for this person, should they speak to you again.

I would have been flabbergasted and really upset, if someone I knew or passed the time of day with, said to me what they said to you. She obviously has her own problems, big time. Doesn't it make you think, thank goodness you are you and not her.

Try not to take any notice, hard though it is. I hope you will continue to go out for a walk each day and hold your head up high.

Love
Elna x

mash65

hi,it terrible the way some people get treated.
ive had the too young for arthritis comment,well is there an age to qualify for it :shock: the dirty looks i get for using a disabled bay.
the thing that makes me cringe is my partner when he defends the fact that i cant walk very far is ''she is disabled you know''i just hate hearing him say it.i hate having to tell people on the phone that im disabled too,when im trying to get alterations done on the house.
i suppose it just getting used to it,THE WORD DISABLED
even when i use my crutches people still dont get out of my way,so rude :shock: but im not at the stage yet that im brave enough to knock them on there ankles to get out of the way
what we all have to put up with ah!!!debsx

elnafinn

Hi Vonski

What a crass remark. Again, I cannot believe that someone said that to you. If that person only knew how much effort you had put into managing to walk again. I think that kind of remark would have finished me off, so pleased that it did not, for you.

I have not forgotten you and will pm asap :oops: Knocking back the co co at the mo because of the sciatica and had a funny turn with the pills this morning

Keep smiling

Love
Elna x

vonski

Hi Elna
Hope you are OK and have been resting today after your turn.
This woman was a real class act, she used to make toffee and bake. She handed her goodies round to the ambulance men when there was only me and her left, she watched me as she did it then put them away again. I'm not violent but I did want to hit her, I'd have fallen over though
Love
Vonski x

elnafinn

Hi Vonski

Too right, she needed a good slappin'. You should have gone for it, (easy for me to say I know!) - the nice ambulancemen would have picked you up if you had fallen.

I am signing off now. Kath is back in the early hours isn't she?

I hope you are keeping on, keeping on.

Love
Elna x()

vonski

Hi Elna

Well they might have picked me up when they'd stopped laughing They were good fun

Love
Vonski x

woodbon

Hello, I always think of the good reply to comments like that after the event. What a thing to say, still, shows her age, noone says 'cripple' anymore! Love Sue

ninakang

Hi Mrs Mopp

I liked your husband's comments about this person - what does give people the right to make comments like that to anyone, even if they know them well?

I think the way forward is to make sarcastic comments back and then these people might think twice about saying stuff like that again. For instance, if people ask my sister (who's wheelchair bound from cerebral palsy and RA) if she's in the chair because she can't walk, I usually get a comment like "No, she's just lazy" in before I push her away. Sometimes she will say something, but not often and I suppose it's easier to feel indignant on someone's behalf but a different matter when you're the person it's aimed at.

What gets to me is at work when I'm having a bad day, having to explain myself over and over again. I know people are just being kind and want to help, but sometimes I wish I had the nerve to send everyone an email saying "Nina is having a bad day today. She's OK, thank you and will ask you if she needs any help. Do not approach her about it and please do not ask any more f***ing questions!"

But maybe that sounds ungrateful???

Nx

mrsmopp

eckstardeluxe wrote:

I know MrsMopp. With me when I say I have arthritis "but you're so young" like I don't know my own age. Or the "that's a disabled space you know" I usually have a witty list of retorts but someone last week got a very blue response from me, I was having a bad day mobility wise and to hear that after struggling to get my shopping in my car, I just let rip. :oops: Felt awful when I got home but my hubby said maybe they'll think twice next time.

"a wee greet" are you a Scottish Mrs Mopp?

Aye..im a scottish bumpkin, many thanks for your kind words

mrsmopp

Many thanks to you all for you kind comments, it is very much appreciated. x

moamethyst

Hi Chin up from a fellow Scot. Don't let people like that upset you.
I often feel that I am the only one that seems to suffer from OA which I have had in all my joints for many years. I had a full hip replacement done in January this year and although I don't suffer the pain in that joint anymore I still walk funny . I think because I limped for so long before I had it done. Also I still suffer a lot of pain in other places.
I don't know anyone else near me that has arthritis to share problems with, that is why I find this a great place to come where other people are feeling the same way as yourself.
It helps to hear how other sufferers are coping with daily life.
The next time you meet that person ignore them and remember there seems to be a lot of really nice people on this forum that will cheer you up and answer any questions you might need to ask in the future.
I used to feel awful alone until I found this site.
Mo

ladypink

HI Mrs Mopp,

Some people are so rude! You was very brave to try and get out
even though you struggle they should see that. Don't worry you
have friends here.

suex

tjenny54321

I must be the exception to the rule with regard to comment on having arthritis " at your age". I see it a matter of educating people. This comment was made to me only yesterday by someone I know. Perhaps its the way its said? Anyway when I was younger someone commented to me that a lady was using those mobility scooters in the shopping mall when she could walk. I thought it was a disgrace as it would mean someone who genuinely needed it may have had to wait or do without. Now I realise life isn't that simple. I've had hurtful comments from family such as " have I thought about what I will do when I can't manage". I think there should be a new ad
campaign " how would you feel if the same comments were made to you. I think I might have a reply for people to say in car parks. Tell
them the Disabled T-shirt is in the wash along with foghorn to let
people know

greyheron

mrsmopp wrote:

Im so fed up the day of folks comments. Iv had a TKR and still limp quite badly. Try and go for a walk most days down the street. Went for a walk today and met this person who came up to me and said, "thought you would be less cripple now that you have your new knee" it really got to me. Came home and had a wee greet to myself. Hubby said i should have said to them, "i see that diet isnt working" People can sometimes be so insensitive

As someone else who's had a TKR I was livid on your behalf. I was fortunate enough to meet only encouraging remarks and I know how important those were to my morale, so I can only imagine how hurtful the remark you encountered was.

I agree with everyone else, obviously the person has problems, try not to let it hurt you too much and keep on going!

Take care

Wendy