Giving up all hope

jennyb
jennyb Member Posts: 25
edited 19. May 2009, 12:21 in Living with Arthritis archive
hi again

I would like to just go through wot is going on at the moment, about 7 months ago i had problems with my back after 3 months went private and had crumbling disc's which i had a steroid injection which all in all seems to have done the trick. At the same time with my back playing up i got pains in my feet, wrists, fingers, and hips my GP was a lot of help and said it was arthritis take pain killers which i have been in the mean time i started to get pain in my shoulder which hurts or the time and if i use it or move my arm you can hear and feel it crunching, no amount of pain killers take the pain away.

To day my consultant rang me with blood's and x ray results for hip and shoulder, he said that they arr slightly raised and there a bit of arthritis but nothing to worry about, i thought this is my worse nightmare and burst into tears because how can i be in this much pain and nothing is wrong thankfully he believed me and is trying to get me an appointment with a rheumatologist.

Wot is going on i am supposed to be going on a cruise on the 27th may and i just feel like a 90 year old I'm taking more and more painkiller's with no affect, i can't go to the toilet as i have constipation, and taking stuff for that to no avail.

All i seem to do is cry, which is really getting to my husband who has no empathy at all, he thinks it's growing old pains that we all get im 50, which i don't consider that old, i eat healthy food i go to the gym, and walk every where.

Sorry to rant but is there anyone out there that has any idea wot is going on with me, one more thing i get really cold when everyone is sitting in tea shirts im in a blanket and just can't warm up, had my thyroid check and that come back ok.

thank you x

Comments

  • breane
    breane Member Posts: 392
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jennyb,Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment. :( I have OA and RA and I have found that pain killers are no longer working for me either.Also like you,I am always feeling cold no matter how warm the weather is.My GP can't explain why that is but other members have also mentioned that they feel the cold too.Regarding your pain,I would definately go back to your GP and ask him to run a few more tests again.I was diagnosed with OA last Dec. and up until a few weeks ago only OA showed up in my blood tests but then suddenly RA showed up too.So it may be that your blood tests need repeating especially as you are in so much pain.I'm a very young 62 year old and it's really annoying when people say I should expect to get pain now I'm in my 60's.I often say to them,''walk in my shoes for a day and then see how YOU feel''.This site is the best place to come to for support and I'm sure there will be other members who can offer more advice than me so keep logging on.Take care. Breane.x :)
  • jennyb
    jennyb Member Posts: 25
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    breane wrote:
    Hi Jennyb,Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment. :( I have OA and RA and I have found that pain killers are no longer working for me either.Also like you,I am always feeling cold no matter how warm the weather is.My GP can't explain why that is but other members have also mentioned that they feel the cold too.Regarding your pain,I would definately go back to your GP and ask him to run a few more tests again.I was diagnosed with OA last Dec. and up until a few weeks ago only OA showed up in my blood tests but then suddenly RA showed up too.So it may be that your blood tests need repeating especially as you are in so much pain.I'm a very young 62 year old and it's really annoying when people say I should expect to get pain now I'm in my 60's.I often say to them,''walk in my shoes for a day and then see how YOU feel''.This site is the best place to come to for support and I'm sure there will be other members who can offer more advice than me so keep logging on.Take care. Breane.x :)
    thank you
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,395
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jenny,

    So sorry you're feeling so rough at the moment - it's a vicious circle when you're in so much pain as that gets you down mentally and then you can't cope with pain as well as you could :(

    You need to go back to your GP and put pressure on them to get you in to see a Rheumatologist. If you explain to them about your forthcoming cruise and how much pain you're in they could possibly give you a muscular steroid injection to tide you over.

    As for your OH it's so difficult for some people to emphasise with someone's pain unless they can feel that pain themself - there's no easy answer to this one because even if you try to talk to him about the way you feel - he may accuse you of moaning :(

    Don't give up hope you will get better days - it's just that life's difficult for you now.

    Hope you feel better very soon.

    Luv Legs :)
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • jennyb
    jennyb Member Posts: 25
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lindalegs wrote:
    Hi Jenny,

    So sorry you're feeling so rough at the moment - it's a vicious circle when you're in so much pain as that gets you down mentally and then you can't cope with pain as well as you could :(

    You need to go back to your GP and put pressure on them to get you in to see a Rheumatologist. If you explain to them about your forthcoming cruise and how much pain you're in they could possibly give you a muscular steroid injection to tide you over.

    As for your OH it's so difficult for some people to emphasise with someone's pain unless they can feel that pain themself - there's no easy answer to this one because even if you try to talk to him about the way you feel - he may accuse you of moaning :(

    Don't give up hope you will get better days - it's just that life's difficult for you now.

    Hope you feel better very soon.

    Luv Legs :)

    my consultant is getting me an appoinment with a Rheumatologist soon hopefully
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jenny

    It is amazing what "turning on the taps" does in a positive way, with the medical profession isn't it? Been there myself with that. Shame we have to go that far, though, isn't it to get them to sit up and listen and take it all on board?

    I think you will have to chase that appointment because of your holiday drawing very near. Good idea from Linda about asking for the magic injection.

    I am sure things will work out ok if you keep on at "them" so you are sorted before you go and I hope you have a brilliant holiday.

    These men do not often understand especially if they are in perfect health themselves or they may understand but find it very difficult to know what to do or say and if they say something it comes out all wrong and they are in the doghouse even more.

    Chin up, I have a feeling it will turn out ok and you will have an enjoyable holiday.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,788
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jenny
    So sorry you are suffering at the moment :(
    Seriously cry if you need to - Elna will back me up when I say I ried all day every day for at least a week when this first happened to me.
    YOur husband is probably of the school of thought which goes 'if you ignore it it will go away' and he is probably terrified for you and himself too. He will get better at understanding especially if you take him to your apts with rheumy.
    Now being cold - have you taken your temp?? IS it up? This is useful info for rheumy.
    Paracetamol may well drop this enough for you to feel a bit better. The injection IS a good idea as you are due to go on hols. What painkillers are you on? We may have ideas to help in that dept.
    Take some prune juice for the constipation. I promise it WILL work ( I once went 15 days and it cured me).
    The cruise. Have been on one myself and luckily there wasn't too much walking inviolved so I survived and lifts everywhere. If you can get your medication sorted that should help no end.
    Seriously though you have all my sympathy Jenny and i hope you can get some things sorted out.
    Take care
    Toni xx
  • emmarose33
    emmarose33 Member Posts: 86
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry to hear you are in so much pain!
    I have Rheumatoid Arhtiris and experience pain and swelling in all my joints, along with the most horrendous pain (I gave birth just over a year ago and the pain is equal) in my shoulder. It hurts so much it makes me cry, I can't sleep. I have been told it is compression of a nerve due to a combination of inflammation in my shoulder from the RA and bad posture. It happens mainly when I am reating. If I pay close attention to my posture it is eased slightly.
    It's possible you have RA. I am sure a rheumatologist will be able to help you.
    But I think you need to go back to the GP and get your pain under control. If you think your joints are swollen (did the blood tests show this?) you should be on anti-inflammatories (if you're not already on them) and take pain medication.
    Good luck, hope you feel better soon
  • ritnew
    ritnew Member Posts: 338
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jenny
    First I'd like to say how sorry I am for you feeling so rough at the moment. I kept going back and forth to my dr till he got it right, he was/is very good and I'm going to get a new hip in a couple of weeks time. I have oa.
    My husband wasn't very sympathetic at first, well I didn't think he was but when we sat down and had a good chat about it all it turned out he was worried for me, he was also frightened to touch me incase it hurt and being a man he was also frightened to show his true feelings. Since the chat he's been great and now always comes to all my appointments with me so knows first hand what is going on.
    I'm glad you mentioned about being cold as I quite often feel the same especially in bed, although I do at times have the most awful hot flushes.
    Good luck with it all and I really hope you can get away on your cruise as I'm sure it will do you the power of good.

    Rita X
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ritnew wrote:
    Hi Jenny
    First I'd like to say how sorry I am for you feeling so rough at the moment. I kept going back and forth to my dr till he got it right, he was/is very good and I'm going to get a new hip in a couple of weeks time. I have oa.
    My husband wasn't very sympathetic at first, well I didn't think he was but when we sat down and had a good chat about it all it turned out he was worried for me, he was also frightened to touch me incase it hurt and being a man he was also frightened to show his true feelings. Since the chat he's been great and now always comes to all my appointments with me so knows first hand what is going on.
    I'm glad you mentioned about being cold as I quite often feel the same especially in bed, although I do at times have the most awful hot flushes.
    Good luck with it all and I really hope you can get away on your cruise as I'm sure it will do you the power of good.

    Rita X


    Hi Jenny
    So sorry you are in so much pain. I think one of the odd things about arthritis is that the pain you feel is not always related to what actually shows up on x ray or in blood tests, but rheumatologists understand this better than most doctors as this is what they deal with all the time. So the sooner you get your appointment with the rheumy the better. Also cant remember who suggested it above, but agree that taking your hubby to your appointment might help him understand that what is going on with you is not simply normal aging pains. Often partners dont know how to cope especially men as they like to solve things, and arthritis isnt quite solved so easily!
    I havent been on a cruise (sea... sick... enough said!!) but I have friends who are always trying to persuade me to go because they say that everything is so easy for people with mobility issues. The change of scenery might actually give you a bit of a boost too. Do keep pestering your doctors to try and help you out with regard to the pain. Its all just routine for them, its anything but routine for you. (I have RA by the way and OA spine and as hard as it is for you to imagine, things do become easier when you start getting the right treatment)
    Take care
    love Gillx
  • jennyb
    jennyb Member Posts: 25
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi again

    thank you for all your kind comments, i am feeling a bit more positive, the worse thing of it all is not knowing what's going on, i think people think im putting it on.

    im going to make an appointment with the GP tomorrow and when i phone ask if there is a GP who knows a bit more about arthritis.

    I'm glad i have found this site and will keep in touch and let you all know how i get o.

    I Have got private health care but don't know yet if there pay for this treatment if not ill have to go nhs. which is a bit slower but will get me there in the end.

    Got on the computer this evening as hubby and son watching the footy, hope pompey wins that will keep them happy at least.

    Any way thank you again ill let you know how the doc's go
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jenny
    So sorry to hear your feeling so bad and glad reading your last post you feel a bit more positive. It must be really hard for you when you feel so ill and so little diagnosis, A little arthrits cant be not to bad you have it or you dont. The doctor dose not understand, i offten think if they suffered what the patient suffers they would react better to you. As for the cold i think that goes with arthur to i get the same way. The other thing you should know is that you can be ill and look well with arthur and people dont really understand this they think because you dont look sick you cant be sick. I know the pain can get hard to cope with but keep your chin up wont be long before you see the rheumy. Take care
    Colin
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling so upset at the moment but trust me you are not alone. This happened to me when I first became ill, I had a rather bad encounter with a Consultant which I posted on here. The others were horrified. The same guy told me to my face "there was nothing of note on the MRI to cause any pain" when I was rolling on the ward floor in agony begging him to help me.

    January 19th 2009, meeting with Senior Consultant. Hardly nothing on my MRI, rather end stage arthritis, 3 bulging discs and Spinal Stenosis. All on their own very serious conditions yet this guy told me there was nothing!!!

    You need some answers, make sure you speak up for yourself and query anything you are not happy with. I had to ask for a second opinion but I got it and all the answers, unfortunately just not ones I was wanting.

    I just wanted to say from my experience above that you can't trust someone's word for things, regardless how experienced they are. By the way I went to the Ombudsman and the guy in question got a right kick up the @rse. I hope you are feeling better soon, take care

    Eck
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, I'm sorry, its making the stress worse having a date that you need to be well for, I'm sure. Holidays are lovely, but, I often find by the time they come, with all the arrangements and packing etc, I am wondering if its really worth it! :wink: But it is, in the end. :)

    The worry of the arthritis and deciding on the best thing to do thats not helping you. I wish I could give you an answer, but you have to decide on the private/NHS thing. Arthritis is a shock to the system and getting used to that is hard. Once they get your treatment sorted and you start to feel a bit better, its easier to cope. Crying is not a bad thing, I do it a lot! :oops: I find it helps me clear out the feelings and emotions a bit and put things behind me to start again. :wink: My husband dosn't like to see me in tears, as he feels he should be able to do something to help, but of course, he can't, but having him with me just helps, even if hes moaning. :roll:

    Perhaps your husband feels powerless to do anything positive to 'cure' the problem, and he feels a bit lost about the best thing to do.

    I'll stop going on now, and wish you a good holiday (hopefully nohealth problems) Sorry, to go on so much. :oops: :) Love Sue
  • suziev
    suziev Member Posts: 252
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hiya

    just to say this is the darkest time being in pain and not knowing what is going on, we have all been there and often when we have been told theres nothing wrong, there is nothing worse. i've sat myself and cried cos of the pain and triedness and my hubby couldn't understand, he does now though, so there is hope.
    you will get there honest it just feels like such an uphill battle.
    and i will say too go back and get blood test included the thyriod blood test again.
    just hang on in there pet :o
    suzie
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    jennyb wrote:
    hi again

    I would like to just go through wot is going on at the moment, about 7 months ago i had problems with my back after 3 months went private and had crumbling disc's which i had a steroid injection which all in all seems to have done the trick. At the same time with my back playing up i got pains in my feet, wrists, fingers, and hips my GP was a lot of help and said it was arthritis take pain killers which i have been in the mean time i started to get pain in my shoulder which hurts or the time and if i use it or move my arm you can hear and feel it crunching, no amount of pain killers take the pain away.

    To day my consultant rang me with blood's and x ray results for hip and shoulder, he said that they arr slightly raised and there a bit of arthritis but nothing to worry about, i thought this is my worse nightmare and burst into tears because how can i be in this much pain and nothing is wrong thankfully he believed me and is trying to get me an appointment with a rheumatologist.

    Wot is going on i am supposed to be going on a cruise on the 27th may and i just feel like a 90 year old I'm taking more and more painkiller's with no affect, i can't go to the toilet as i have constipation, and taking stuff for that to no avail.

    All i seem to do is cry, which is really getting to my husband who has no empathy at all, he thinks it's growing old pains that we all get im 50, which i don't consider that old, i eat healthy food i go to the gym, and walk every where.

    Sorry to rant but is there anyone out there that has any idea wot is going on with me, one more thing i get really cold when everyone is sitting in tea shirts im in a blanket and just can't warm up, had my thyroid check and that come back ok.

    thank you x

    O JennyB. I really do feel for you, I am in the same situation. I really thought that I coming out this gigantic flare up, head, neck shoulders and arms right down to my fingers. Left side the worst, right is half way there. I have been trying very hard to work throughit all to take my mind off it. Other things I do to help myself is heat pads and then ice packs where the inflammation is. I normally use the warmth to my neck and shoulders and then ice packs to the muscles. Massaging helps too. I have been give pain patches too. I think they help a bit, but I have still found the pain unbearable even using these. I don't know what others think of these Bupranorphine they are called.

    I have been referred to the Pain Clinic by my Rheumy Consultant, lovely man, but I think he has given up on me. I do not seem to be a text book patient. In the end, I think it is going to be me to find a way to cope with the pain. I have been in this flare up for about 8 months now and I have been screaming at the pain at time so I know how you feel. I would suggest that you try some natural things like including Rose Hip Capsules and Black Cherry Drops in your diet. Do you eat tomatoes? I have stopped eating these because they can aggrevate things. Well worth investigating certain foods I am putting together a new diet for myself which includes many antioxidents and help my immune system. Just a mug of boiled water in the morning is a big help with the constipation.

    I have bought quite a few pretty things for the summer, pretty blouses and sun tops, but I seem to be wearing all my jumpers and cardigans just to keep warm and then, the next minute I am boiling hot and feel as though I have a raging temp.

    Good Luck Jenny, all you can do is keep on with your GP and Rheumy, but be patient with the drugs. Sometimes it can take months to get a result with them. I hope you don't think I am interfering, but just thought I would suggest to you what helps me. It might help you. Hope you get to see Rheumatologist soon and I hope you get to enjoy your holiday. It will do you the world of good.
    Unfortunately, i had to cancel my holiday to Yorkshire for the coming week because it was a motoring holiday, and I know that I couldn't have managed all the jogging and shaking about in a car. We are due to go on a camping holiday with our car club in middle June.


    Joyful
  • jennyb
    jennyb Member Posts: 25
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joyful164 wrote:
    jennyb wrote:
    hi again

    I would like to just go through wot is going on at the moment, about 7 months ago i had problems with my back after 3 months went private and had crumbling disc's which i had a steroid injection which all in all seems to have done the trick. At the same time with my back playing up i got pains in my feet, wrists, fingers, and hips my GP was a lot of help and said it was arthritis take pain killers which i have been in the mean time i started to get pain in my shoulder which hurts or the time and if i use it or move my arm you can hear and feel it crunching, no amount of pain killers take the pain away.

    To day my consultant rang me with blood's and x ray results for hip and shoulder, he said that they arr slightly raised and there a bit of arthritis but nothing to worry about, i thought this is my worse nightmare and burst into tears because how can i be in this much pain and nothing is wrong thankfully he believed me and is trying to get me an appointment with a rheumatologist.

    Wot is going on i am supposed to be going on a cruise on the 27th may and i just feel like a 90 year old I'm taking more and more painkiller's with no affect, i can't go to the toilet as i have constipation, and taking stuff for that to no avail.

    All i seem to do is cry, which is really getting to my husband who has no empathy at all, he thinks it's growing old pains that we all get im 50, which i don't consider that old, i eat healthy food i go to the gym, and walk every where.

    Sorry to rant but is there anyone out there that has any idea wot is going on with me, one more thing i get really cold when everyone is sitting in tea shirts im in a blanket and just can't warm up, had my thyroid check and that come back ok.

    thank you x

    O JennyB. I really do feel for you, I am in the same situation. I really thought that I coming out this gigantic flare up, head, neck shoulders and arms right down to my fingers. Left side the worst, right is half way there. I have been trying very hard to work throughit all to take my mind off it. Other things I do to help myself is heat pads and then ice packs where the inflammation is. I normally use the warmth to my neck and shoulders and then ice packs to the muscles. Massaging helps too. I have been give pain patches too. I think they help a bit, but I have still found the pain unbearable even using these. I don't know what others think of these Bupranorphine they are called.

    I have been referred to the Pain Clinic by my Rheumy Consultant, lovely man, but I think he has given up on me. I do not seem to be a text book patient. In the end, I think it is going to be me to find a way to cope with the pain. I have been in this flare up for about 8 months now and I have been screaming at the pain at time so I know how you feel. I would suggest that you try some natural things like including Rose Hip Capsules and Black Cherry Drops in your diet. Do you eat tomatoes? I have stopped eating these because they can aggrevate things. Well worth investigating certain foods I am putting together a new diet for myself which includes many antioxidents and help my immune system. Just a mug of boiled water in the morning is a big help with the constipation.

    I have bought quite a few pretty things for the summer, pretty blouses and sun tops, but I seem to be wearing all my jumpers and cardigans just to keep warm and then, the next minute I am boiling hot and feel as though I have a raging temp.

    Good Luck Jenny, all you can do is keep on with your GP and Rheumy, but be patient with the drugs. Sometimes it can take months to get a result with them. I hope you don't think I am interfering, but just thought I would suggest to you what helps me. It might help you. Hope you get to see Rheumatologist soon and I hope you get to enjoy your holiday. It will do you the world of good.
    Unfortunately, i had to cancel my holiday to Yorkshire for the coming week because it was a motoring holiday, and I know that I couldn't have managed all the jogging and shaking about in a car. We are due to go on a camping holiday with our car club in middle June.


    Joyful

    thank you, i will try your suggestions i have my freind round today and we went shopping i always find retail theropy very good, :lol: i hope that they find something that helps you very soon :D