Having the courage of my convictions

lindalegs

I know I'm not going to be liked for saying what I have to say now but I feel I've just got to say something.

There's a certain person on here who's been speaking out of turn and upsetting us but I now feel the tables have turned and everyone is now having a real go at this person and it saddens me.
She is obviously a very lonely, unhappy person herself and, I think, has a very weird sense of humour and also an axe to grind with someone else on here – and I agree it's not fair but can't we rise above this and rather rising to the bait and saying hurtful things in return, just ignore any comments made as though they've not been said. We can all be supportive of those needing the support but I feel this is getting to be a witch hunt and I'm sorry to see so many joining in on it.

I'm sorry if I've alienated anyone by saying this but it does sadden me to see the way things have been going and I think we're not doing what we do best by being helpful we're going down the wrong route and being negative.

Does anyone agree with me?

Luv Legs (sorry)

jaspercat

Hi Linda, I have to say that I agree with you, we should all be positive and support itself, we don't gain anything by being unkind to one another love Jaspercatxx

lindalegs

Thank goodness Jaspercat - I'm glad I'm not on my own.

I just feel this person is bringing out the worst in us not the best.

Thank you

Luv Legs

kazpaz

Hi

Well done! I agree with you totally.

I used to post regularly and enjoyed doing so, but after some of the posts I read about the Emmerdale actress I stopped in disgust. I still read many of the posts though regularly and I saw the posts you refer to and I wondered about some people's total superiority over others and what on earth makes them think that this is "their forum" and not a forum for everyone to use?

We are a diverse group of people who share probably only one thing specifically in common, that being arthritis of some description. We all have opinions and if we can't at least listen to each other without judgment, what is the point of this forum? The world judges us enough already, why on earth would we add to that?

I wanted to reply similarly to you a day or two ago and thought I wouldn't as I had already decided to withdraw. I even got as far as pressing the reply button, but to be honest thought of all the flak from those who seem to think this is for their personal use and so swithched off. I'm sorry now that I lacked the conviction to do what you have done.

There but for the grace of God go all of us at times.

Kaz

angel1

Linda, I really welcomed your post, and I admire your courage. As a relative newcomer, I didn`t feel it was my place to comment, but I have been feeling very uncomfortable. My working life, as a counsellor, has been to try to understand what others are feeling. I don`t for one minute think that the person you are referring to will appreciate my saying it, but she is a desperately unhappy person, and I for one don`t want to see her made any unhappier....Angel.

lindalegs

Thank you Kaz and Angel ....... must admit I was very nervous about commiting myself as I really don't want to upset anyone and was worried that people would turn on me. :shock:

There are lovely people on this Forum - let's not lose site of that ................ is this me creeping now :roll:

Luv Legs hoping to ingratiate herself again

colinone

HI legs, I don’t know if you saw my post of last night to the person but I would like to apologise, It just got up my nose the person just dismissed the great work you and other members of the site do. Many of you respond to posts that other people may overlook and I know for a fact some posts are hard to deal with and upsetting for you all. I have from time to time responded to a post with tears in my eyes and I’m sure most of you have. When you suffer the full force of you illness yet devote time to others I can only say it is commendable for you all. From time to time my fingers type faster than my brain works it’s the same with my mouth. I do take on board your comments and understand your feelings on this. I hate to stand by whilst the good work of you all is simply swept aside, I do get the feeling it is done intentionally. And it is sad that one person can demoralise some of the members in such a way that they feel the need to respond the way they do. I was one of those people last night and I thought about the post for some hours prior to responding. Once again my apologise .
Take care and thank you
Colin

lindalegs

Ahh Colin no need to apologise I don't want anyone to feel bad - that's the point.

I'm not getting at anyone and haven't seen your last night's post, and as Kaz said we're all entitled to our own opinion. I just want us to get back to how we were before and not waste our time and energy on this person.

Luv Legs

nearlybionic

Hi Linda
You are right, we should get back to what this forum is all about.
I must admit I nearly posted to ask everyone who replied to the other thread to delete their posts, so it just got forgotten. Not because we don`t have the right to reply etc..
Anyway, I am pleased that you were able to post this thread.
NB

shonaarnold

Linda

As a newcomer I would like to say that the support I have received so far (only over the past week) has been of enormous help and I was shocked to see what was going on. I did comment on it today, mainly that it was best ignored. I was apprehensive about joining this forum as its not something I have ever done before and what was happening made me feel very uneasy about how safe it really is to be open about things so publicly. It's worrying that this could alienate people when they most need help.

lindalegs

Thanks NB and Shona.

Boy, I'm getting alot of attention now - people will be thinking this is a Legs' publicity stunt :oops:

Luv Legs

angel1

Have you got a book coming out Legs, or a new album?...Angel

lindalegs

.................. well now you mention it Angel

kazpaz

I feel really uncomfortable that anyone here should be thought of as a waste of effort. All behaviour says something about us and our life experiences. How can we judge when we don't know what has happened to anyone else?

Kaz

penfactor

Hi Linda & everyone!
I just want to say this - a true forum should be a place for free speech as we are lucky to still have the right in this country. You & Colin are right - everybody has different views & need different ways of coping & as long as we can all express how we really feel there is then a chance that we can reach new understanding of each other.
I used to get really upset when people posted nasty things on other sites but my son, who is gay and has had really nasty & offensive abuse because of this, still expounds free expression of thought as he believes this is the only way we can all, eventually, understand each other.
Pen XX

[Deleted User]

Hi,

I have removed the thread 'too serious' as I felt it would be the best thing to do in the circumstances.

This forum is a wonderful place where we can receive and give help to others in circumstances we can fully empathise with, and this is what you all do, all of the time.

I am sorry we did not act earlier re a previous comment in a different thread, however you posted and demonstrated support for a friend in need and can now move forward as before, doing what was fully intended by the very title of this forum 'Living with Arthritis'

Thanks
Moderator
YEH

jackie1955

lindalegs wrote:

There's a certain person on here who's been speaking out of turn and upsetting us but I now feel the tables have turned and everyone is now having a real go at this person and it saddens me. Luv Legs (sorry)

Hi Linda,
I've been on here for about 5 months now, so still a newbie really.
Recently I've noticed a few postings that, because of there content, left me puzzled. As I was not sure what was going on, or what had gone on in the past, I did not feel 'qualified' to make any response. I did feel, sadly, that a 'storm was brewing'

I'm glad you've brought this all out into the open (and in turn the Moderators have taken action). Good on you Linda.

Anyone remember Thumper the cute baby rabbit in Bambi? I quote:-

"If'n ya can't say anything nice, then don't say nuthin' at all"

Jackie x

woodbon

Linda,
Yes, I joined in and at the time felt a bit uneasy, but I had read a comment to someone that could have been very upsetting and felt annoyed. You'r right we should understand and I admit to thinking that I don't know enough to say anything.

The best thing, if you don't like one of these comments is to ignore it. Its time all of this stuff stopped. So sorry for joining in.

Love and appologies, Sue

lindalegs

Hi Sue, as I said to Colin please don't apologise and I've said before I'm not getting at anyone - I just think one bad apple is beginning to make the whole of us bad ............. and we're not like that

I have sent you a PM.

Luv Legs

noeltone

Hia ll re. forum participation I am a tolerant person to an extensive point and I like to think I am appreciative of all people. My sons says Im gullible and trusting to a ridicolous point. Given that I do not wish to see any nastiness on the forum to anyone(especially to me he he ) so let us all try and get on with each other guys as I try to do and ignore annnyoing personal digs and points. Jennywren I do try to get out of my rut and not let arthuritis beat me but I am not very good at it but I dont do it any better by being told my faults and rubbished but I forgive you this made some others have a go so let us all be friends, and do post positivelly and also then others wont think you are a troll the ball is in your court We are all different arthurwise as to how this dreadful long term condition affects us and likewise our responsive temperments are also varied in how we cope with it if anyone wants me to go becos im too miserable fair enough but lets have harmony and keep our support and energies in fighting arthur.Chrisov.

angel1

Chrisov, hello. I agree with all you have said. I`ve not been around for very long, but one of the main reasons I chose to become actively involved was because of the diverse personalities on the forum. One minute I would be reading something from a young mum, in terrible pain, and I would be in tears, next minute laughing like an eejit at Legs, or Rehab, Kate or Big Momma. Or blown away by someone else`s far greater knowledge than mine of this awful disease. I never lose sight of the fact that this forum may be the only place for some people to let off steam in whatever way they choose.......So lets all play nice......Angel.

penfactor

Hi Chrisov! How are you doing matie? I feel you & I are kindred spirits on here cos I posted THE most miserable topic about the same time as yours! I think you are brilliant because of your total honesty on here & it is through that we all see you are a genuinely lovely guy
Great to see you still around & send my support & cyber best wishes!
Pen X

suncatcher

Thank you for speaking up and having the courage to do so i hate bullying in all forms. the site is lovely and very supportive and its a shame a bad apple should try to spoil this and think they can get away with it thanks to you and the moderators this site will be a safe site for everyone once again thankyou all the best joanne

queenfan

I must admit I have not wrote on here for a while but then just recently read & wrote a few jokes which I felt safe doing this site is supposed to be for talking to & listening to people after all we all have good & bad days don't we
there are enough stresses in every day life, without worrying whether you are going to upset people by saying the wrong thing :roll: so that is why I rarely write on here.
I hope every thing settles down so to every one keep smiling
Sue x

noeltone

Hi lindalegs Ive been thinking about this subject and I think it is good that you raised this thread about the developments on here and i hope jennywren will keep posting i dont know why she does not like me and said those things etc and i hope she returns and is nice on here i think others opposed her becos of what she said mostly but not only to me and like you say all should be helped with arthur and how it affects us all and makes us lonely and react in diff ways so hopefully things have and will continue to be settled down and i need this forum to help me cope with my life and i want to stay and will try to ignore direct negative comments which i try to however difficult lets all support each other and help each other to try and beat arthur

queenfan

Hi Noeltone thicko here :roll: didn't read what was going on earlier in some posts, I don't like atmospheres in any situations but it doesn't matter where we are there is always some one to bring us down especially when we feel low, you have lots of good friends on this site who know you well so try to put all this rubbish behind you they are not worth worrying about
take care & keep your chin up
Suex