opinions need..mums and anyone else!

suziev

hiya

this has been on my mind for some time but i HATE the fact that info is so hard to get for mums with arthritis, ladies that are thinking of becoming mums with arthritis and those whos preganacy have set of there arthritis!

i know it's come up before many times but since ra is suffered mainly by women the chances are that most of them are mums!

do you think we should have a corner in cyber space to call our own? maybe athritis care could gives us our own corner if i ask nicely.

there is so much info that we all can give and maybe it only needs to be just one click away instead of hunting for it.

not sure if that was a rant or not
suzie x

lindalegs

Good idea Suzie - might it be worth you sending s PM to the moderators to see what their answer would be?

Don't forget the blokes too though - it does affect Dads with arthur too and they sometimes need some advice and tips. Maybe it should be aimed at parents.

Luv Legs

debatat

I have to say I think that is an excellent idea. My children are older now thankfully, but I really do feel for those who are pregnant or have young children, it must be so hard. They do face a unique set of challenges. I hope this succeeds.

Deb

kezzo1

fantastic idea!! i feel the same lets plug for it x

mrsdalloway

lol maybe just a mild rant! I would use it x

page35

Yes good idea
i have two children and i would love to have more but dont think i will now that i have RA, which started after i stopped breastfeeding my youngist child.
i know there are quite a few young mums on here and others that got RA when there children were little and could probably give us some good advice.
Very good idea
Page
PS sorry just said mums but of course dads too

emmarose33

I think I'd live on it!
Come on - give us our own corner! plllllease

suzster

this is a great idea, as parents there are many things that i'm sure we could help each other with, those tips we've come accross for every day parental problems.
i think messaging the moderators is a great idea, maybe a few of us parents should? say the word and i'll happily send a message!!
sue (mum to a 10 yr old and a 2 yr old)

suziev

hi ladies

thanks for your replys, am glad am not alone on this.
so now am wondering what we should ask for or even if they said no if it's worth me setting up a web site!
what do us parents (legs your right it should be parents) want?
so thinking back, i wanted to know why my pregnancy had set the RA off, oh and why is it that no bugger tells you that pregnancy can cause ra! i wanted to reach out and get in touch with others that were in the same boat and theres a question that comes up time and again, will i give this to my children.
i think links to web site that we have found useful and help thats out there such as sure start.
the family section in athritis care does go some way but not enough.
so over to you ladies..
suzie x

ramummy

Great idea - I'd love it!!

page35

Hi suzie
like you i have sooo many questions and i dont know where to get the answers and to alot of the questions there isnt a deffinate answer "will my children get it?" haunts me as i am sure it does most parents with arthur.
i would like to know how to explain to my teenage son about my RA without worring him, as i know he worries when he see me struggle to get down the stairs some mornings or when i get upset(i try not to in front of him).
And i have a 2yr old how will i manage with her as i get worse.
some sites i have looked at are so frightening and i just worry myself even more.
this site has been great, loads of helpfull friendly people so something for parents on here would be great.
Page
sorry dont know if any of this makes sence its nearly 4am and i have jaw ache so not sure what im saying but will post it anyway

ninakang

I'd definitely visit a Parents With Arthritis forum. What a good idea! So much to talk about on this subject.

Nx

lindalegs

page35 wrote:

Hi suzie
like you i have sooo many questions and i dont know where to get the answers and to alot of the questions there isnt a deffinate answer "will my children get it?" haunts me as i am sure it does most parents with arthur.
i would like to know how to explain to my teenage son about my RA without worring him, as i know he worries when he see me struggle to get down the stairs some mornings or when i get upset(i try not to in front of him).
And i have a 2yr old how will i manage with her as i get worse.
some sites i have looked at are so frightening and i just worry myself even more.
this site has been great, loads of helpfull friendly people so something for parents on here would be great.
Page
sorry dont know if any of this makes sence its nearly 4am and i have jaw ache so not sure what im saying but will post it anyway

I think you're already asking some of the FAQ's already.

I also think, Page, with your teenage son, I would just talk to him quite frankly about your arthritis - he's old enough for you to do this, but then I think any child is as long as you do it to their level and age, and don't blind them with science.

Your son could be worrying more now by watching you struggling than if you had a chat together and he voiced his worries.

As for your 2 year old you will manage fine - she will learn very quickly that she has to be more proactive in order for you to cope and you'll also just be Mum because she doesn't know any different. My son learnt at 10 months old he had to climb onto my knee because I couldn't pick him up - even when he'd hurt himself and was crying, I would have to sit down and he'd haul himself up - which I know sounds pitiful :roll: but we managed.

Another question which you'll be faced with is how to discipline a child - I found that difficult but did find my way in the end - that comes from knowing your own child.

Anyway I'm sorry to go on but I feel I know so much and I just can't keep my mouth shut.

Hope you're getting some relief from your jaw.

Luv Legs

suzster

so true legs, with older children it's better to be honest and explain things to them, my 10 year old got a book out from the school library, i'd tried explaining things to her but i don't think she was ready to talk about things if that makes sense?!
any way, this book managed to scare her and she actually was convinced all my joints were going to become horribly deformed and then i'd die, sounds awful but the book from school was so old that basically it said that arthritis would cause terrible damage to my joints. she is now having counciling at our gp surgery and the school nurse has talked to her on several occasions which has helped her understand that i'll be ok!!!
but i guess in hindsite i should of tried explaning things from the start, but because i was unsure of what RA would mean to my life and being very like me she didn't want to hear or talk about it, that didn't happen.
i've since tried asking the school to buy more up to date books, but we'll see if that happens, it hasn't yet.

my 2 yr old has never known me any different so in some ways it's easier for her, although it hard when she accidently hurts my hands and i yell, i'm not yelling at her, but she sometimes gets upset, thats a tough one to deal with, also hard to explain to a toddler that i can't chase her round the garden!

sorry, i'm writing loads to!!

page35

Hi
sorry about my last post, i got a bit carried away.
Legs- i think i need a weekend at your house think you would sort me out. you do know so much an i for one am always greatfull for your advice. i did tell my son straight away that i have RA but i made it sound better than it is i think, told him there are very good meds and sometimes i just cant do somethings, so maybe i have explaned it ok.
jaw still achy went to denist teeth fine so its arthurs fault again :roll:

page35

suzster your poor daughter that is so bad, good that she is getting some counciling now. Bless her
was it you that had your lip pierced? how is it now? sorry if i am mixing you up with someone else.
Page

suzster

page35 wrote:

suzster your poor daughter that is so bad, good that she is getting some counciling now. Bless her
was it you that had your lip pierced? how is it now? sorry if i am mixing you up with someone else.
Page

hi, yes it's me with the lip piercing! it's slowly healing, still a bit sore but much better, i do think my meds have an affect on it, but i'm still salt watering it daily, so eventually it will heal!!

i have to say that the school really aren't interested which is wrong, i can't be the only mum in the village (lol sorry!!) with RA surely?

i also wish there was some way of getting together with other parents in our situation, i asked our health visiter if she knew of other mums who had RA but was told she couldn't tell because of patient confidentiality, i know that but i'm sure some how a group of us could get together, after all the support would be so good.

i've even thought of putting a notice up in the newsagent, but i'd probably only get wierdo's contacting me, lol, just my luck!!

frogmorton

Suz
can't the HV give YOUR details to anyone?
Just a thought
Toni xx

suzster

good idea, trouble is now we have no health visitor, so thats the end of that idea for now, she left a few months ago, so i'm kind off back to the drawing board!!

frogmorton

Oh b****r!
did you try the SS or did I miss that?
Toni x