Been feeling rough today

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jaspercat
jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
edited 27. Jul 2009, 07:29 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi Everyone, I have had a dreadful day, tired, hot, very down in general, my asthma felt a bit better on friday but it is worse now, Malcolm's dad is back in hospital again, after a fall, I really believe that he would be better in a home, Malcolm dosen't agree, we had a chat about it and Malcolm went off on a tangent and said no-one cares about him, I do like mad, but I think he is down too.

Above all that I just want to sleep, I could sleep for Britain, if there was a national competiton I would win love Jaspercatxx :(:(:(:(:(

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  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jaspercat

    I am sorry to hear that you have had a really horrid day, both mentally and physically. Sounds like you have a bit more going on, than you can chew at the moment. Things seem to go like that, don't they! All or nothing. :roll:

    You probably do feel like sleeping. When you are asleep you feel and know nothing. It is a wonderful escape route. We know, and Malcolm knows that you do care about him, but he is very worried about everything as well. Malcolm probably does agree deep down that his dad would be better in care, but he knows that his dad is really anti this, so he is in a difficult position.

    I wish I had an answer, old age can be such a worry. Personally, I really am dreading it and I try not to dwell on it too much. No one likes to feel a burden on anyone.

    I hope you are able to get to bed early and I hope tomorrow is a better day for you both.

    Love
    Elna x()
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Im really sorry you have had a bad day health wise and the family problems i hope you can get a good nights sleep and feel better inyourself and things will seem more clearer and emotions will have carmed malcome is worryed about his dad and we all say and do things we dont mean. have a good sleep hope you feel better from joanne
    Joanne
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    joanneprice wrote:
    Im really sorry you have had a bad day health wise and the family problems i hope you can get a good nights sleep and feel better inyourself and things will seem more clearer and emotions will have carmed malcome is worryed about his dad and we all say and do things we dont mean. have a good sleep hope you feel better from joanne


    Hi Jaspercat
    I'm sorry you have had such a difficult day. It sounds like you are overwhelmed with it all, no wonder you yearn sleep! It is so difficult to know what to do for the best when our parents become ill. We are in that age bracket when that is the sort of thing many of us are having to deal with. Its even harder when you want to help them but physically you are limited. I do hope you get a good restful night's sleep tonight and are feeling brighter tomorrow.
    Meanwhile sending you lots of cyberhugs
    Gillxx
  • kaz34ni
    kaz34ni Member Posts: 18
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi jaspercat, sorry to hear your under pressure, sleep is bodys coping mechanism when your stressed. I faced same dilema a few years ago with my mum, i wanted her home with me, social serivices diasagreed (no community care funding at that time) although times have changed. I went round a right few Nursing homes had a look to see wot they offered, took a while but i settled on one which was great. Maybe if malcolm had a look at some nursing homes, just to see what is out there and what is best for his father. Just so he can make a decision based on what he has seen. Or maybe if his father went into a nursing home for convelesence once he is discharged from hospital for a week or two, then take it from there. But it would give you all abit of breathing space.
    Take care Karen
  • kathbee
    kathbee Member Posts: 934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Sorry to hear you are feeling so down Jasper.

    Its a difficult thing to make decisions that suit
    everyone regarding an aged parent, I have been
    there with that one and I understand.

    Hope you will soon feel much better.

    Kath xx
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jasper cat,

    Would sheltered housing be an option for your father in law? My friends mum recently came out of hospital and needs care, they opted for this, her mum gets care for washing and dressing and meals, so it takes the burden off her and there is someone there in case of emergency.

    I know what you mean, regarding sleeping. Its all I want to do to escape the pain, I feel so tired all the time as well, but the painkillers probably dont help with that. Lets hope this will pass in time.

    thinking of you

    Janie x
  • Rainbow77
    Rainbow77 Member Posts: 275
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Jaspercat

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling poorly and the added stress of looking after Malcolm is a big burden for you. You have done really well with him all this time. Hope you have a little rest while he is in hospital, but if he has had a fall then perhaps it is time that they made the decision that he needs to go into a home and not you. He may need to have an assessment to see if he is safe to be left at home. I know he is very eldery.

    Horrible thought for you and malcolm, but it may actually be the best thing for him.

    Try and get some rest and you may feel a bit better.

    Take care

    Fayann xxx
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello, I'm sorry you have so much going on at the moment, its no wonder you feel unwell. I worked in a care home for elderly, run by the council, I can honestly say, most of the residents came to us and settled in very quickly. Often the problems were the families, who sometimes went home in tears after visiting, as Mum or Dad had declined, or had been nasty to them, or just didn't recognize them, if dementia was a problem. Yet most of the time, the resident was quite happy and relaxed or enjoying gossip!

    Its a hard decision, I looked after my Mother-in-Law for 2 years until she died. We had a Granny Flat in part of the house but Granny spent most of the time with us! :roll: Looking back, I took on a lot more than I realised at the time and if I'd known what it would be like, I couldn't do it again. So if you'r thinking on those lines give it a LOT of thought first.

    You have to make the choice between you, and whatever you choose their will be hard times ahead, but if you both work together on this, you'll get through it in the end. Take care.
    Love Sue
  • jaspercat
    jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Everyone, thanks for all the support, badly needed I have to say, for those that don't know Malcolm is hubbie and his dad has fallen, Malcolm is off to the hospital at 1pm, I know this sounds awful but it will be a welcome rest for me, no real news on the dad front, they are doing tests, including walking up the stairs, which he had done 6 weeks ago.

    Malcolm knows in his heart that dad needs a home, but can't bring himself to admit it, I feel much the same, down and tired, couldn't sleep despite being tired, isn't it weird tired but can't sleep? love Jaspercatxx
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