Concerned about the future

kickyloo

Hi,
I'm new to this site and have recently been diagnosed with RA. I'm 29 years old and I had a sudden onset of symptons in March with pains in my hands and fingers, which later also spread to my feet and toes. I have been off work since then.

Initially the consultant thought it was reactive arthritus and so I was relieved to be told it was temporary and wouldn't last more than a few months. However as time has gone on the pains got worse and has not been been challenged by the numerous drugs that have been thrown at it. So now they say it's RA. I feel like I've been handed a life sentence.

I'm on so many painkillers I feel doped out the majority of the day. The steroids have been increased again (which has given me 'moon face' and weight gain so I hate the way I look). I'm in pain and can't do anything so can't even exercise to improve fat problem. I'm also on drugs to stop side effects of other drugs! Now they want to start me on DMARDs, which I'm told I can't get pregnant on. I'm concerned about the strain on my marriage and our relationship, that we'll never have a family, that I'll lose my job and that I'll be in pain forever. I'm so frustrated that I can't do ANYTHING, even brushing my teeth is difficult. :x My hands don't want to work and my feet ache just from standing.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
x

vonski

Hi Kickyloo

Welcome to the forum, you will be glad you joined. Sorry I'm not going to be much help, oa not ra but I can say you will need time to come to terms with this. At the minute you are still in shock and all the meds to cope with too. Once they kick in though you should start to feel much better and in control. If you have problems with the meds talk to you rheumy there are others to try. You could be having a flare up at the minute which will hopefully settle down before too long.

Try and keep your chin up and there will be others along that will give you good advise.

Love
Vonski x

lindalegs

Hi Kickyloo and welcome,

I'm glad you've found us although I'm sorry you've had to come looking if you see what I mean.

I started with RA at 27 and have had it for 23 years now and mine is an aggressive strain so can I first of all reassure you that your life isn't over it's just going to be more of a challenge and you'll have to find other ways of doing some things. I also married at 20 and I'm still married to the same fella now (and he's still as gorgeous ) so RA won't necessarily ruin your relationship. We also have 2 sons.

There are threads on here about pregnancy and arthritis and your Rheumatologist will be able to help you through this when the time comes.

Lovely things still happen even with a life changing disease such as this just don't let it beat you.

You're in pain right now and as Vonski says in shock, so you won't be able to see much beyond these at the moment but things will get better I promise you.

Any questions or worries please ask as we all have a wealth of experience and are always willing to help.

Hope you start to feel better soon.

Luv Legs

suziev

hello

as the ladies have said already things will get better and there will be light at the end of the tunnel, please trust us when we say this like you i was first told i had reactive then after waiting to get better i never did and i have been told i have ra. it's hard to get your head around it at first and you feel like your in free fall but it won't last. getting control of the ra is the hard bit and then everything else will fit in place.
there are different drugs that would be easier to get pregnant on so when you talk about this to rhemy make sure they know that you want a family.you will have a family and there are lots on here that do have arthritis and a family. i have a boy of 4 and a girl of one and i have a very happy marriage, if anything because of the ra it's made me and my hubby closer. you won't be in pain forever and the meds will help and someday you may even forget that you have ra.
hang on in there and remember your not alone
suzie x

kickyloo wrote:

Hi,
I'm new to this site and have recently been diagnosed with RA. I'm 29 years old and I had a sudden onset of symptons in March with pains in my hands and fingers, which later also spread to my feet and toes. I have been off work since then.

Initially the consultant thought it was reactive arthritus and so I was relieved to be told it was temporary and wouldn't last more than a few months. However as time has gone on the pains got worse and has not been been challenged by the numerous drugs that have been thrown at it. So now they say it's RA. I feel like I've been handed a life sentence.

I'm on so many painkillers I feel doped out the majority of the day. The steroids have been increased again (which has given me 'moon face' and weight gain so I hate the way I look). I'm in pain and can't do anything so can't even exercise to improve fat problem. I'm also on drugs to stop side effects of other drugs! Now they want to start me on DMARDs, which I'm told I can't get pregnant on. I'm concerned about the strain on my marriage and our relationship, that we'll never have a family, that I'll lose my job and that I'll be in pain forever. I'm so frustrated that I can't do ANYTHING, even brushing my teeth is difficult. :x My hands don't want to work and my feet ache just from standing.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
x

page35

Hiya kickyloo
its not the end of your world, it just feels like it right now.
i was diagnosed with RA 4 months ago, im 33. and i thought that it was game over for me, was in so much pain in most of my joints couldnt sleep and constantly crying.
well i still think its cr@p that i have got RA, BUT i am taking 2 types of DMRADs and they are starting to work i feel much more "normal" than i have done for ages. and i havent taken any pain killers for about 2 weeks and im not consantly hurting.
there is hope, will will feel better with the right meds
Take care
page

elnafinn

Hi kickyloo

I am saddened to read your post. I have a daughter of similar age to you and in a very stable relationship and a job that she loves and I know exactly how she would be feeling if she was in your shoes and that is, the same as you, absolutely desperate and my heart goes out to you. I do hope that you have some close member of your family or a very good friend, besides your husband, that you can share your emotions with at this time, because that does help. It is very early days for you and it would seem that you have had no let up, since March and that is one heck of a long time. To be diagnosed and be told it will go in a few months and then to have been told something else and have your hopes dashed, is so upsetting. It is a shame you did not find us earlier. On here, we are all in the same boat to a lesser or greater degree, and with different types of arthritis, but we all look out for each other and try and help as much as we can, because we know what it is like, whereas other people do not.We offer lots of sympathy too. I hope that your husband is being sympathetic and I am sure he is terribly upset to see you in such pain and is probably finding it very difficult himself to begin to understand what is going on.

I do not have RA but I have been on this site long enough to have gleaned some knowledge about it. You know that whatever you say on here, someone has been through very similar to you and have come through it as well.People will answer your thread as is happening now. As others say, there is light at the end of the tunnel, but we also know that asking you to be patient is very difficult and at this time you may think, impossible.

You are not alone with all this now, you have us, so please call in as often as you wish to do so and you can also get in touch with the helpline should you so wish.

Although we have come up with no magic cures for you and believe me, we all wish we could, I hope that by reading the responses to your posting it will have helped a little.

Please keep calling in, it certainly does help. Things will get better again, I promise.

Luv
Elna x(())

woodbon

HELLO, I'm so sorry to read your post. I don't have anything useful to add to the others, but I just hope you are able to find something to help you and make the pain easier for you to bare.
Love and best wishes, Sue

topgirl

Im very much the same as you....
Had 7 months of work last year and have currently been of for 2...i miss the banter at work so i meet the girls i work with for coffee etc.....just to socialise....you need to...
I have been on treatment for RA for 4 months now and have just started to feel a bit better.....Your rumy will sort out the best treatment for you BUT you have to be patient( i find this really difficult!)as these drugs take 3/6 months to work...so things should get better.
Keep posting on here.....
x

mrsdalloway

Hi I want to reiterate what Lind says life isn't over it will just have to change course a little! I was diagnosed at 25 after birth of first baby, I have been on many different meds over the years and it has got progressively worse. However, I am now in a position where I can't work because of the pain and visits to hospital but I went back to college and followed an art dream I had. I am now about to start my own business from home selling my work. All in all it isn't the life I imagined in a way it is far better! It is easy to say all this it will take time to get your head around it, I was very stubborn and in denial for a lot of years. Hope you having a better day ! x

karinak

kickyloo wrote:

Hi,
I'm new to this site and have recently been diagnosed with RA. I'm 29 years old and I had a sudden onset of symptons in March with pains in my hands and fingers, which later also spread to my feet and toes. I have been off work since then.

Initially the consultant thought it was reactive arthritus and so I was relieved to be told it was temporary and wouldn't last more than a few months. However as time has gone on the pains got worse and has not been been challenged by the numerous drugs that have been thrown at it. So now they say it's RA. I feel like I've been handed a life sentence.

I'm on so many painkillers I feel doped out the majority of the day. The steroids have been increased again (which has given me 'moon face' and weight gain so I hate the way I look). I'm in pain and can't do anything so can't even exercise to improve fat problem. I'm also on drugs to stop side effects of other drugs! Now they want to start me on DMARDs, which I'm told I can't get pregnant on. I'm concerned about the strain on my marriage and our relationship, that we'll never have a family, that I'll lose my job and that I'll be in pain forever. I'm so frustrated that I can't do ANYTHING, even brushing my teeth is difficult. :x My hands don't want to work and my feet ache just from standing.

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.


Hello kickyloo,
I have just been diagnosed with RA too, im 46 and got a family so i do feel for you but keep positive as you can still have children at your age regardless of the RA i am sure, I have had the really slow stiff finger mornings and feeling so damn frustrated with everything and why me too!, but although my 1st appt at hospital is not until next week and the daunting drug mine field awaits me, i am still taking a positive attitutude towards living a near to normal life as before. I have found faith in joining this site as you realise you are not the only sufferer so keep your chin up.
Thinking of you Karina x
x

kickyloo

Just want to say thanks. I'm amazed how much better (mentally) this has made me feel - to be able to vent and read such lovely and inspiring responses.

josiec

Hi, Can't add any more useful info that others haven't already said, but wanted to say hello and add my welcome too! There is plenty of help and support on here, and as you say, it really does make a difference! Kind regards, Josie

debbierose

Hi,
just like you I found myself in the same situation, ( other than the rug ratty things) mine have grown up.
I loved my job loved my friends and loved the life I had,]I thought it was the end of my days and to be honest I let it be for a couple of years.
But hey, I now have new friend and a new purpose to life,
I still have my crappy days but I have learn't to monitor myself,
the secret been I think is don't refuse help when offerred and if not offered then ask. take all the tablets the doc px's for you
have long weekends away with or without your hubby,

oh there is a leftlet out about S.E.X. new positions etc.
not exactly like reading porn but informative non the lest.

put the babies on hold for the mo until you come to terms with arthur, and have it stablelized.
check in here now and again.
best of luck
Debbie

suncatcher

try to stay positive your meds will kick in i have children my ra came when son was sixmoths old i still would have had kids tho regardless myself and only you know if and when its right for you but dont write anything off see how things go. there is a way round every thing you have to do thing differently now thats all but you can still do em. hope your meds sort soon and take everything day by day dont look to much in future you will work your way through all the best joanne

dachshund

hello Kickyloo.
This a very helpfull site i'm sorry i cannot help you as i have oa but there are a lot of helpfull people on here.
there is also chit chat thats about anything you want to talk about in life like food.
try not to worry joan xx