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Mmm "Collegues"

denpendenpen Posts: 389
Hi
I am due to have a THR in a few weeks time, I have had my pre-op and I must confess due to Knowing what back stabbers and a gossip that my collegue (C) is, and manager can be, I only divulge as much information as necessary to them. I do not have a date for my Op and I received a phone call from the hospital for a appointment, so I had to swap my shift with my collegue (C) so I told her that I had a appointment, from there she assumed it was for my pre-op, she told my Manager that I had the appointment for a pre op, Then she told another member off staff who has been off on holiday for 2 weeks whom I worked with yesterday that I have got a date for my op.??? "Hello" all this without me saying a word. Collegue (C) told me today that she cant believe that the hospital "Keeps ringing me asking me to come in for appointments" and she thinks this is stange. Well it is strange as it has only happened once and that was todays appointment
Ever heard of the saying "keep your friends close and your enemies even closer"
DP.

Comments

  • nearlybionicnearlybionic Posts: 2,204
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Denise
    `Nice `colleagues eh?? easy for me to say I know, but don`t let them stress you out. you have enough to contend with , with your upcoming op. They obviously have no idea what you are going through, or what this op will mean to you.
    Your boss should know better than to make such comments too. Or to listen to gossip, which is completely inaccurate!!
    At least you will get a break from their petty mindedness!
    NB
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi ,
    Retail eh....best place in the world for gossip......
    Its not nice that people have got nothing better to do then discuss your medical apts......
    Do you remember that i was having problems with my manager?
    she has been spoken to and i had to ring her yesterday with an update on my condition....she was lovely( because she had to be)
    Seems like there has been a few instances in our company lately where managers have got in trouble for ' lack of care and concern'....if i were you i'd keep a diary of comments and if need be speak to HR...mine are great....
    Good luck
    :D
  • ninakangninakang Posts: 2,056
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Denpen

    Totally agree with Topgirl in that you should keep a diary of these incidents and report your "colleague" and manager to HR eventually. She knows what she's talking about, she went through h3ll with her employers.

    Just have to disagree with you Topgirl on one thing. It's not retail that have the biggest gossips - you've seen nothing until you've joined the fire service!

    Nx
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :wink:
  • denpendenpen Posts: 389
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    topgirl wrote:
    Hi ,
    Retail eh....best place in the world for gossip......
    Its not nice that people have got nothing better to do then discuss your medical apts......
    Do you remember that i was having problems with my manager?
    she has been spoken to and i had to ring her yesterday with an update on my condition....she was lovely( because she had to be)
    Seems like there has been a few instances in our company lately where managers have got in trouble for ' lack of care and concern'....if i were you i'd keep a diary of comments and if need be speak to HR...mine are great....
    Good luck
    :D

    Hi
    Yeah I do remember what you went through with your manager.
    I did start to log everything from when I first found out about my hips last January its all written down on my computer, I must admit since my initital problems with my Manager when I think she had been told to be careful what she says to me, she has been great and very supportive, but I do go in there and tell them "I did the "hoovering" and was in so much pain afterwards" even yesterday she told me to keep on and tell them if I cant do anything (but that makes me suspisious of them, then I think they will try to get rid of me AM I PARANOID OR WHAT)
    WORK EH
    Denise.x
  • denpendenpen Posts: 389
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    Me again
    I rang my Manager yesterday and I told her that in furure I will ring her first to inform her of what exactly is happening with me (appointments and such) because its becoming a case of "chinese whispers" when passed by my collegue. ( all this because I swapped a shift because of a hospital appointment) phew
    Denise
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Phew.....
    All that hassle for a hospital appointment eh?????
    Gosh it really does sound like you work with a nasty bunch.... :(
    They would find it really hard to get rid of you without trying different ' reasonable adjustments'....as if it went to tribunal your company would have to prove that they have done everything possible to keep you.....
    I had a meeting with HR and my area Manager last week and they have already said that they will provide me with a chair the right height to to the till/fitting ect.....when i go back....I know you work at a counter so maybe this could be an option for you?
    Book an appointment with the disability advisor at the jobcentre too...they are really helpfull.....
    Hopefully after your op you will be a lot better anyway :lol:
    Good Luck
    Kay x
  • ninakangninakang Posts: 2,056
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hiya

    I think it's best you go straight to your line manager instead of relying on so-called colleagues to give the info for you, it gives them the opportunity to air their opinions.

    I'm lucky that I work with very supportive people (mostly) but I've heard stories on here about work situations and it seems to me that a lot of the back-stabbing comes about through ignorance, they just don't know what we go through sometimes.

    Nx
  • ikesotherikesother Posts: 171
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Denise, what a nice bunch your workmates are eh? Would you like me to go and give em a whack with my sticks :wink: my last job before I had to leave because of my hip was in Dorothy Perkins, and Ive never worked with such a bunch of back stabbers in my life! Ive not been into the shop in nearly 4 years, i got the impression they thought i was putting it on, but you can bet its on one of my first places to visit when Im back at full pace; when you go through an op that big and come out better for it, it gives you a different perspective on things. good luck jk
  • woodbonwoodbon Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a load of busy-bodies your work-mates are. When I worked on reception for a university department in Oxford, many years ago, they were the opposite. I had peritonitis (sp???) and was off work for 12 weeks. I'd lost a LOT of weight and one of the staff came up to me and said how well I looked what diet was I on and had I enjoyed my holidays. She was so embaressed when I told her, but it made me feel great! :D Love Sue
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Since my fall, I've seen a different side to my once supportive manager. I have a Nurse's report that states not to hassle me about being late by a minute or so for breaks due to my limp and slow walking speed yet she continually messages me about it.

    I am writing and printing off everything. I am seeing the works Dr tomorrow for a full evaluation. My Manager even tried to have me take ill health retirement after 4 weeks off!!! When I returned from my fall after 9 weeks which both the work and Dr refused to have me come back before, she tried to give me my first informal warning!!

    I point blank refused to sign it and stated under the DDA she must take reasonable account of my condition and make an average of absence, meaning I can have so many days uncounted towards my sick leave. When I advised her she hadn't followed this guidance she quickly tried to sneak the two page warning papers back into my folder very slyly and ended the meeting.

    I am taking my Union rep to the meeting with the Dr tomorrow as she is "going to town on them" You should have seen my Managers face when I told her I was being accompanied. Pure daggers.

    Like yourself I have found her to be untrustworthy re confidential matters speaking to me about other colleagues and making improper remarks about their time off. I have told the Union who are up in arms and said she is on shaky, shaky ground. I'm now just a bit wary of tomorrow because the Rep is really fired up and I don't want this kicking off and me ending up having it out with my Manager. I've kept quiet but if she starts I wouldn't be able to control myself verbally and I worry about this.

    I have continued to sit upstairs and use the lift as my Manager was supportive and I didn't wish to move even though the Union said I should as would need hoisted down during a fire evacuation. Her actions recently have now convinced me I need to get away from this woman before it blows up and I will be using this as fuel tomorrow.
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good luck Eck...
    Let us know how you get on.
    x
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    topgirl wrote:
    Good luck Eck...
    Let us know how you get on.
    x

    Thanks.

    It was hard going. The Dr wanted the full history - the kidney reflux, ureters re-implanted, Osteomyelitis, epidural abscess, PTSD, PND, arthritis, spinal stenosis,disc issues, the whole story.

    I have to admit I broke down at a point and couldn't understand it as I thought mentally I had accepted everything. I managed to get through it until I spoke about the falls and the incontinence that happened during them in front of the kids and how upset my three year old got.

    But - he is recommending it would benefit all if I am moved downstairs, closer to the doors, toilets and canteen. Also that he expects at least 80% of any absence related to the above discounted. He said he would be ambiguous in his letter to them re the conditions so that they couldn't use that to "get you out the door". His letter will take 5 days but he agreed although I have serious issues, no way should ill health be recommended as I have a strong desire to work and remain independent.

    That's me off until Tuesday so we'll see what she says when I get back. Don't think she'll be happy as apparently it looks bad for them when someone gets moved out of their team.
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well it sounded pretty stessful but the outcome is what you wanted???
    I too get upset when i have to formally talk about my condition....which is strange as im always known as being very upbeat.....
    Moving you downstairs seems a really good idea and im pleased that they do not have reason..'to get rid of you'....
    I was silly when i went back to work in January ( 7 months of mis-diagnoised!!!) i said i wanted to be treated the same as before because i was embarressed....i have now been of since June and now know that im going to be asking for lots of support when i go back.....
    Hope you feel better now...
    xxxx
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    topgirl wrote:
    well it sounded pretty stessful but the outcome is what you wanted???
    I too get upset when i have to formally talk about my condition....which is strange as im always known as being very upbeat.....
    Moving you downstairs seems a really good idea and im pleased that they do not have reason..'to get rid of you'....
    I was silly when i went back to work in January ( 7 months of mis-diagnoised!!!) i said i wanted to be treated the same as before because i was embarressed....i have now been of since June and now know that im going to be asking for lots of support when i go back.....
    Hope you feel better now...
    xxxx



    Hi yes and sorry Den for hijacking the post. :oops:

    I am sure they will try and move me upstairs next to the canteen and toilets just to be annoying. Found out yesterday too, when I went back in Feb after mat leave from 30 to 18 hours they paid me for the 30 and I contacted her and HR about it. When it happened again in March I was all mouth and angry (as £400 too much, alot of money needing paid back) I said to her "some f***er is going to get grievanced" she went red and said "well that would be me then, I forgot". As she was supportive then I obviously couldn't do it to her but yesterday found she's still never ever sent the request to change and the overpayment is wait for it........£1200, to be dedcuted from my salary, all because of her. The minute I get moved I'm disputing paying this back as on payday I contacted HR direct and offered the money back there and then through my debit card. They refused and said my manager had to go through the written channels, which she hasn't done 6 months later!!!! So all in all, yesterday was a bit of a bad day. It would have been £1700 but fortunately for me during the 9 weeks I was off my temporary contract for 18 had elapsed and I reverted back to 30 hours pay. I am absolutely :x raging.
  • denpendenpen Posts: 389
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Eck
    I think you are great!! To have to go through all the hassle of having to prove yourself and go through all that stress to be able to keep your job, you have enough to contend with without the stress of having to fight to keep your job, it isnt right, and it shouldnt happen, a lot of people would be only too happy to be signed off on long term sick and claim all they can, but when you want to work to keep your independance and pride like yourself and myself you would think that employers would be grateful to employ people who really do want to work and are willing to fight to keep their job.
    Good Luck to you.
    Take care
    Denise'x
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    denpen wrote:
    Hi Eck
    I think you are great!! To have to go through all the hassle of having to prove yourself and go through all that stress to be able to keep your job, you have enough to contend with without the stress of having to fight to keep your job, it isnt right, and it shouldnt happen, a lot of people would be only too happy to be signed off on long term sick and claim all they can, but when you want to work to keep your independance and pride like yourself and myself you would think that employers would be grateful to employ people who really do want to work and are willing to fight to keep their job.
    Good Luck to you.
    Take care
    Denise'x


    Aww thanks Denise, hugs and kissies for you, that post actually brought a tear to my eye.

    I want to work. Yes there are days I wish I didn't have too and almost feel like walking out through sheer exhaustion, I'd be lying if I said I felt great. I want the kids to see me working. I don't want to be off and have them think it's ok to copy me. Plus knowing my daughter is as outspoken and inquisitive as I am and will challenge her parents, as I have. I can say in total honesty I fought for myself, I didn't sit back and take it. (when I say I fought with my Mum it was because I believed she let them do the experiments in childhood, only to find later through hypnosis she had fought tooth and nail, very guilty when I found that out :oops: )
  • onedayoneday Posts: 1,650
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    topgirl wrote:
    Good luck Eck...
    Let us know how you get on.
    x

    Thanks.

    It was hard going. The Dr wanted the full history - the kidney reflux, ureters re-implanted, Osteomyelitis, epidural abscess, PTSD, PND, arthritis, spinal stenosis,disc issues, the whole story.

    I have to admit I broke down at a point and couldn't understand it as I thought mentally I had accepted everything. I managed to get through it until I spoke about the falls and the incontinence that happened during them in front of the kids and how upset my three year old got.

    But - he is recommending it would benefit all if I am moved downstairs, closer to the doors, toilets and canteen. Also that he expects at least 80% of any absence related to the above discounted. He said he would be ambiguous in his letter to them re the conditions so that they couldn't use that to "get you out the door". His letter will take 5 days but he agreed although I have serious issues, no way should ill health be recommended as I have a strong desire to work and remain independent.

    That's me off until Tuesday so we'll see what she says when I get back. Don't think she'll be happy as apparently it looks bad for them when someone gets moved out of their team.

    Hi
    sorry to hear of all this you have been going through but i think what you did was right, its right to get the union who know your rights and that stupid manager needs sorting out. You have also paved the way for others who will now come out of the wood work and complain etc.
    Get everything in writing so Manager will drop self in it!..ha ha...
  • onedayoneday Posts: 1,650
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    to everyone else,watch your backs,get everything in writing!
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