comments hurt

bertyboy

hi all i am pretty fed up at the moment i have oa in both knees and trot around with crutches [trot] i wish when going any distance , but try not to use anything on my own garden , so it helps to keep my musles working , but neighbours mother ask me why i use them as i dont really need them , HELLO how do you know with out them i would not get far as my knees give way and buckle underneath me , and if i go down i dont have the power in my knees to get back up sorry just needed a rant xx

heather1

Some people can be so insensitive! :roll:
If they carn't actually see there is anything wrong with you like a plaster.etc. they think you are ok.

You have to become very thick skinned to peoples attitude and feel sorry for them as they are the ignorant ones.

My neighbour is the same and i jump in and change the subject onto her if she starts which seems to do the trick.

elnafinn

Hi bertyboy

I hope these replies have cheered you up. Our Jan sure is quick with the remarks and make me crease up with laughter. You need her out with you when you're next in your garden she'd give your neighbour's mother a talking to

You get on with your life, the best you can, my lovely, and let them all get on with their's if they cannot think of anything sensible and encouraging to say. Wonder what is going on in her life to say something so stupid...

Chin up

Luv
Elna xx

mrsdalloway

Hi Bert I have also had more nasty comments over the years than I care to remember. It isn't just as easy as ignoring them as they hurt. I don't use my blue badge now as I am terrified of being accosted by old people asking me what is wrong with me! no honestly!! I say use whatever gets you through the day and she should just be lucky the condition doesn't make us violent!!

bertyboy

thanks folks your comment have put a smile on my face , its just some times i dont have a quick reply and then think people are thinking i use them for attention , and not for fun , i like walking and if my crutches help in doing that then whats itgot to do with anybody else , and yes i do walk, too far somedays and suffer later , but the dwp know the truth and thats what matters xx

ninakang

Hiya Bert

I think the best thing to do is to keep coming on here to post because who knows better than us about what you're going through?

Before I went on holiday a couple of weeks ago, I was quizzed by a colleague who decided if I was well enough to take my daughters abroad on my own, then my arthritis "isn't that bad". It's not like I'm WALKING to Germany carrying them on my back, is it?! She also said that people who really suffer with arthritis "can't possibly wear heels".

How did I manage not to hit her? I don't know the answer to that myself. I was quite pleased that I didn't answer her so-called questions directly at all as I'm not answerable to her. I just asked when she'd qualified as a rhuematoid consultant :-P

Like anyone else, I have good days and bad days and I refuse to let RA get me down. I am still going to go on holiday with or without my children if I choose (they are 10,7 and 5, not newborn babies in push chairs etc and very independent and sensible) and on good days I'm going to wear heels as I sit at a desk all day and I don't know how long I'm going to be able to wear these heels for!

Nx

woodbon

Hello, Sometimes i just wonder how people have the NERVE to say the things they do! :shock: This woman is rude, ignorant and basically a pain in the bum! (Am I allowed to say bum, Oh, I've said it again, Sorry). : take care and try and ignore her, like you would a fly or wasp! Love Sue

vonski

Hi Bertyboy

Like the others have said try and ignore her comments, she'd probably moan non stop at the first twinge. Who is she to know how bad your pain is thats you and you alone. Just carry on doing what you have to do and maybe take Jan's advise

Love
Vonski x

sharmaine

[Hi Bertyboy

Like yourself I have OA in both knees and use a walking stick to get about. I don't use it to walk in the garden or to hang out the washing...but like you need the support during all other times. Just ignore these negative remarks from people who are too thick skinned to know how hurtful their words are.

My neighbour once said to me that what I needed was to go for a run. I have mentioned this once before on the forum but it made me and my husband laugh for days. Every now and then my husband sets me off laughing by saying "fancy going for a jog"! :P :P I would love to run..skip...hop..dance and bend alas it's not possible.

Some people get on your nerves..don't they???

Sharmaine

eckstardeluxe

Sorry but they sound like a***s!!

It is none of their business what you need and don't need. Comments like that do hurt, before I came to terms with my illness when people would say "what have you done?" when I was limping or "but you're too young" when I said I had arthritis, it used to hurt.

I still get them now at work when someone sees me who hasn't seen me for a while (It's a massive place) They think I've sprained my anke or something. It does get better with time, do not let other people get you down. I have an elderly friend with OA in same place, not as advanced as myself. Seriously since she found out about me that's all she talks about, my hubby says "You'd think she thought it was a competition to see whose the most ill". I just try to change the subject now.

But keep your chin up, don't let them knock you down, being positive really helps. xx

valval

i would have been hurt by the comment as well. not as bad as u and manage fine most of the time but must admit not as smooth these days when walking or going up stairs . but why do people have to stick there noses into what does not have any thing to do with them u r doing the right thing for u and that is what counts u can always tell her they r to hit silly old women with who say silly things

jackie1955

Hi, Where have good manners gone? People are just so rude nowadays, and think they can say anything they want, no matter how insensitive. Easy to say ignore these comments, but they DO hurt don't they

Picture this: Saturday morning, pleasant weather, I decide to venture round a nearby outdoor market on my little scooter. Because of the number of people around, and the fact I want to look at the stalls, I set my scooter at the slowest speed (crawling). I'm stopped at a stall when a little girl of 6 or 7 lets go of the large bouncy ball she has and it bouces right in front of me...... she immediately jumps in front of my scooter to grab it. "Careful" I say, smiling indulgently at her. The mother immediately grabs the girls' arm and pulls her away from my scooter.
Finished browsing, I move slowly forward but am amazed to hear the young mum saying disgustedly "I don't know why they let them things come round here, they should be banned" . Realising shes talking about my scooter, I turn round but she moves quickly past and is lost in the crowd before I can respond.
Needless to say, I was furious! I replayed it over in my mind and got even more wound up because if anybody was at fault it was HER.... why wasn't she controlling her child?
And believe me, if I'd seen her again I was going to wipe the floor with her - pointing out she should be thankful she doesn't need one of these 'things' to get around (neither did I when I was her age!).

Her thoughtless comment spoilt my morning, and I'm still mad when I think of it :x


Whatever has happened to the "there but for the Grace of God go I" school of thought?

Jackie x

eckstardeluxe

That's awful Jackie. What a cheek, you are right, she is at fault for not controlling her child. It's like when we used to talk about the blue badge stuff, how bad was that?

My new one, really pi**es them off. Still the old ones making the comments, Morrisons last week - "that's for disabled people you know, I'm away to tell the shop Manager"

I blew her a big kiss. Her face was like :shock: She just stood there gobsmacked.

vonski

Hi Jackie

I'd have been mad too, I think there is too many people just let their children run riot and blame others.

Ecks where have you been, haven't seen you for ages hope it wasn't down to problems.

Love
Vonski x

eckstardeluxe

vonski wrote:

Hi Jackie

I'd have been mad too, I think there is too many people just let their children run riot and blame others.

Ecks where have you been, haven't seen you for ages hope it wasn't down to problems.

Love
Vonski x

Hi Vonski

No all good here. Since the pain clinic been going great guns, was off abroad but since BB has been on I've been addicted to the digital spy forum and neglected my felow arthur chums :oops:

vonski

Hi Ecks

We forgive you Just seen your post telling us where you've been :oops: Glad all is well.

Love
Vonski x

woodbon

Hi Jackie, I am so sorry you had such a nasty experience, still I suppose ignorant people can't be blamed for their lack of good manners. She'd probably think a manner was somewhere rich people live!
Take care and carry on enjoying your trips out on the scooter.
Love Sue

skezier

Hi Bertieboy,

It is amazing just how rude people can be eh? I wouldn't dream of saying anything to anyone but I get a lot of 'bad' comments and I hope you wont let them get to you. Take care Cris.

Hi Jackie,

Just don't let it put you off going again, she isn't worth it.

tkachev

There comments really annoyed me!
I use crutches to support me and so they help.If I never used them i would waddle everywhere and this can get really uncomfortable.I can let go of them at times and not fall down they just help a lot

Tkachev

dachshund

Hi Birtyboy.
My sister and i have cerebral palsy. one day we were down town on our scootas and i heard a lady say there are a lot of lazy people about to day.
one day a lady asked my sister sue what have you got wrong sue said and the lady said i thought people who had that were dolally but your not. sue said its my legs that dont work not my brain.
joan xx

bertyboy

thanks for the replys folks we have just hada couple of days at my daughters and oh the difference to be able to saunter down the canal path with the grandchildren at my pace and my grandaughter to say are you ok can we go further , there is a bridge but its got steps will you manage , nothing was going to stop me getting to the tea shop ,,

denpen

Hi
I was just reading through these posts, and it made me think of a incident that happened to me a few week ago, I parked outside my doctors displayed my blue badge in place in windscreen and as I got out of my car a "PARKWISE" warden had just approached my car, get this, when I got out he looked me up and down once then back up and down again and walked past me, the cheeky ******d, I am not very good at thinking on the spot, but I have great afterthoughts..... I am just waiting for this to happen again, next time I will be ready. I just hope he doesnt happen to cross the road in front of me when I am driving, as I may have a spasm in my leg, never had one before, but there is always a first time.
Denise

josiec

Wish I could think of these one-liners as fast!!! And as for blowing someone giving you abuse a kiss.......that's quality!! Your attitudes do you credit-wish I could do things like that!! :?