a bad start to the week...

auntie

hello,

i haven't been posting very much really and i know you don't know me very well... but it's got to that stage where it seems like nobody else understands the constant-ness of the problems we have and the only thing that will help is to unburden at people who know what you're talking about.... i'm so exhausted just trying to keep on top of this disease and try to live my life at the same time. i feel like there are a million things going on that i have to deal with and i can't let arthur get in the way but that's not the way it works - it just takes over your body. i have just graduated and don't have a job yet, i'm applying but it's so hard to find anything, and the applications are so stressful. and at the moment i'm doing a 3 day week work placement but i get home so exhausted, i don't have the energy to do anything else. i find the ups and downs so hard to deal with - you never know whether it's going to be a good week or a bad one. well i'm having a bad week - my lease ends soon and i'm moving out but there's so much packing and cleaning to be done... made all the worse by the fact that my flatmate has left me in the lurch and left without doing her share of the cleaning.

i'm trying to strike a balance in my life between arthur and everything else..but i feel like he's taking over. it's been quite a while since i had a good day! people keep asking me, 'how are your knees,' i know they're being considerate but they seem to think it might get better - i don't know what to say to them, same answer every time...

on the plus side... i suppose this is a plus... i've been having some minor side effects from the methotrexate i'm taking - mouth ulcers - they went away v quickly so i think it's nothing to worry about but hopefully a sign that the meds might kick in for my joints soon... fingers crossed.

hrmph... thanks guys for listening (again) - i feel like all i do is moan sometimes and i have nothing positive to say for anyone else... i guess i'm still trying to get to grips with this horrible disease.

valval

hi know what u mean some days the smallest job is to much to do. i only work 4 hours a day but some days that is all i manage . i hope when your meds kick in things get better for u . hope your new flat nice and clean. glad u came on for a moan we all do it from time to time makes us feel better to get it off our chests

elnafinn

Hi auntie

I am not at all surprised that you have not been posting with all that is going on in your life at the moment and what you are having to put up with at such a tender age. You really do have too many issues at the moment to be contending with. Is there no one who can help you at least with the cleaning the flat and help you to pack. Things always seem a little easier if someone else is busying around and giving you a helping hand. No friends, family, boyf,partner around that you could ask?

Filling in forms for jobs is an absolute nightmare and then one must wonder what is the point after a while, because of the recession but you have to keep on.

Peeps who ask about your health, are you saying you are ok, perhaps you should say you are sort of ok/not too good at the mo, and you could really do with a helping hand - then perhaps they would help. If you don't ask, you don't get it would seem these days.

I take it you have not been on the metho that long. Hopefully you will feel better when it starts working properly. Why not visit your gp or rheumy dept/nurse or phone them and explain how you are feeling physically at the moment and see what they suggest?

Did you hear from that job interview you went to, when you said you had not been totally focussed as you had just become an auntie! Congratulations, by the way.

I do hope you feel a lot better soon, I am sorry that I cannot be of any help really but you do have my sympathy, big time. My own daughter is a few years older than you and to think that she would be feeling even a little like you do at the moment, would totally tear me apart.

Luv
Elna x

suncatcher

Hi auntie
I have always said this illness is a full time job as there is allways something new to deal with and a new prob and each day is not the same. I hope the meds kick in for you and you find a job soon from joanne

lindah

Hi.sorry to hear you are having such a rotten time of it at the minute.Hopefully the meds will kick in soon and you will have more get up and go.Are you sleeping all right cos they say don't worry,sleep well and sometimes you can't do either and this just adds to your general down feelings.
Lots of us on here to listen,anytime.
Linda H 8)

woodbon

Hello, when you first start suffering from an illness, its hard for your body and mind to get into tune together. Most people think that with a bit of rearranging they can go on as usual, but this isn't the case and you have learn a quieter pace of life. Also your body is getting used to the drugs that it is now getting and once the right balance is found for you, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.

Its a good idea to talk this over with some of the medical team treating you as they may want to change your medicaton. Your on a long battle but in the end, I'm sure you'll win!
Love Sue

eckstardeluxe

Hi, I understand how you feel, trying to strike a balance between your illness and your life can be very soul destroying.

Although I've now at last found a good balance with my meds in that the nerve pain is better, the OA stiffness is getting worse just as they predicted at my diagnosis. I thought I had a bit of time yet for that to happen but it only took a few months. I have to get up when it starts in the morning as lying in bed is unbearable, the stiffness only starts to alleviate when i get up and move around but even then it's still there.

I work 18 hours per week, 6 hours over 3 days and cannot tell you how many times I've sat and thought to myself "why do I bother". I get to ten o clock and am so tired, I get insomnolence and start falling asleep at my desk. When I take my meds at 11am an hour later it starts all over again.

What keeps me going is the fact I'm trying, I'm doing my best to remain independent and let my kids see I'm out there not letting this get to me. Secretly I wish I could stop sometimes but even though it's stroking my ego, I enjoy people who know what's wrong saying they think it's great I am at work and so cheery too. That keeps me going. It does get better with time, honest!

frogmorton

Hi Auntie
Poor you
Job hunting alone would be enough for most of us, never mind a placement,a house move and a major cleanup too!!
You mustn't think you are moaning - if you are looking at that you have just cause :!:
Let's hope the mtx IS kicking in and that you will feel better soon. Where are you moving to? Will it be a postive move for you?
You take care and regular or not we really are happy to listen to each other.
You take care
Toni x

elnafinn

Hi Auntie

I hope you got some zeeeeeeees last night, are feeling a little calmer this morning and not in so much pain.

Luv
Elna x

shelleymogui

I wish I was rich...because then I could just work my way round all of you to help out.

I couldn't be a nurse (although after learning the dosage and what all of dads meds do I feel like I could do) but I would love to just go round and give people who need a hand, a hand. Whether it be moving house, shopping, someone to go shopping with, whatever. Id love it.

If I ever get rich or win the lottery, you'll have me banging on all your doors! Promise.

Hope everything calms down for you soon and take it one step at a time with the cleaning, packing stuff. Take care and come back and let us know what your new place is like.

Shell x

psyart

auntie wrote:

hello,

i haven't been posting very much really and i know you don't know me very well... but it's got to that stage where it seems like nobody else understands the constant-ness of the problems we have and the only thing that will help is to unburden at people who know what you're talking about.... i'm so exhausted just trying to keep on top of this disease and try to live my life at the same time. i feel like there are a million things going on that i have to deal with and i can't let arthur get in the way but that's not the way it works - it just takes over your body. i have just graduated and don't have a job yet, i'm applying but it's so hard to find anything, and the applications are so stressful. and at the moment i'm doing a 3 day week work placement but i get home so exhausted, i don't have the energy to do anything else. i find the ups and downs so hard to deal with - you never know whether it's going to be a good week or a bad one. well i'm having a bad week - my lease ends soon and i'm moving out but there's so much packing and cleaning to be done... made all the worse by the fact that my flatmate has left me in the lurch and left without doing her share of the cleaning.

i'm trying to strike a balance in my life between arthur and everything else..but i feel like he's taking over. it's been quite a while since i had a good day! people keep asking me, 'how are your knees,' i know they're being considerate but they seem to think it might get better - i don't know what to say to them, same answer every time...

on the plus side... i suppose this is a plus... i've been having some minor side effects from the methotrexate i'm taking - mouth ulcers - they went away v quickly so i think it's nothing to worry about but hopefully a sign that the meds might kick in for my joints soon... fingers crossed.

hrmph... thanks guys for listening (again) - i feel like all i do is moan sometimes and i have nothing positive to say for anyone else... i guess i'm still trying to get to grips with this horrible disease.

hi i hope you read this before they shut the forum down for a few days - but you are allowed to have bad days and weeks!!! soemtimes we feel that we should be able to cope but you are coping with everything life is throwing at you. sometimes it is better to feel sad and sorry for yourslef, have a cry and then pick yourself up, shake yourself off and start again!!! you are carrying 'arthur' with you at all times - so it is going to be harder but allow yourself to moan to us!!! hope that makes sense??!!! :roll: :roll: :roll: