Keep on pushing myself?

tanith

I have had O/A for nearly 20yrs, spine, hands, ankles , toes, one hip replacement and other on its way, knee pain.. I had to take early-retirement after my hip op but I still struggle on.

I am just having a bit of a stressful week I guess and I am usually very upbeat, just wondering if others gave up the struggle to cope?
I push myself to walk every day (I don't claim DLA because I force myself), I struggle but manage my garden with a little help from hubby, cook all our meals and mostly manage the housework by pacing myself and doing a small job at a time then rest. I have even managed to do some decorating very slowly but just now and then I read how people are claiming DLA and getting all sorts of other help and they really don't sound any worse than me( I know some people even work while claiming it) and I think should I just give up the struggle and let my Arthur get the better of me? But I don't want to give in to it and let it rule my life so that I can't even walk to the shop to buy my paper every day. I don't even have a Blue Badge because with a struggle I can manage to park in an ordinary parking spot my husband thinks I am daft not to.

Are there other 'daft' strugglers out there like me?

annebr

Hi,

I don't claim for DLA or any other benefit. Not entitled to ESA as I am self employed and lathough not working at the moment have savings and a hubby who works. DLA is seemingly not means tested so i may be eligible for that, my husband is saying I should after all I have paid all my taxes. The main reason is transport to and from hospital appt, we have worked out that taxis in September will cost me approx £200.

I don't think you are giving in by applying. If you apply are you going to stop doing all the things you are doing currently - no probably not. Look at the DLA if you apply and get it as a helping hand. So I think you should go for it.

Anne

angel1

As I read through all that you wrote, my thinking was, "Wow, this girl is a shining example to us all".

Of course you will have times - we all do - when you think it is so unfair that we have to struggle so hard not to let Arthur beat us. But you`ve been doing it for twenty years, and I`ll bet you won`t be stopping anytime soon!

That said, I feel that you would be well within your rights to apply for some help, certainly a Blue Badge......Ange.

tanith

angel1 wrote:

As I read through all that you wrote, my thinking was, "Wow, this girl is a shining example to us all".

Of course you will have times - we all do - when you think it is so unfair that we have to struggle so hard not to let Arthur beat us. But you`ve been doing it for twenty years, and I`ll bet you won`t be stopping anytime soon!

That said, I feel that you would be well within your rights to apply for some help, certainly a Blue Badge......Ange.

Thanks for the kind words, the problem I have is when I read through the claim forms that I actually can do most of the things they ask but its because I won't allow myself to be beaten by it and find ways to do the things I struggle with and feel like I will have to exaggerate my illness to qualify for anything which I don't want to do... I guess I should just do it and see what happens... thanks for your input ..

topgirl

You have nothing to lose by applying and the money will help with the things you are struggling with....
Do the form a bit at a time and ask for advice ( we are always here )
You could even use it to:
treat your hubby for a meal out?
Taxis for shopping?
A gardener to help?
I know its difficult to except help...but please apply...you sound very deserving and there are many people out there claiming benefits that they shouldnt...
Think about it.....

skezier

Hi Tanith,

I may fall into that category of pushing it somewhat! I also have looked at the the DLA requirements and wouldn't qualify as I can do the things and they don't ask does it hurt do they? I have the same thing to give in at all will mean thats me finished cus mine is really waiting to take me out.

I see a pain clinic doctor and also my consultant and they say I can do what I can do only cus I wont stop so we are the lucky ones but like you I also don't want to get worse just so I qualify for some help and yet earning a living is so, so hard! Let me know how you get on cus one day I am going to have to just accept I got this and give up working......... But mines complicated by animals. Take care, Cris

woodbon

Hi, I'm glad you are able to manage and refuse to give in, but arn't you being a too hard on people who do have to give up. Many would love to carry on working, but they are in jobs that physically have become impossible for them. Or need extra help to carry on. Giving in can be a hardship for many people, cutting them off from social contact, but the work they do is no longer possilbe to manage.

I have just been retired from work for medical reasons, as I am not able to do the manual handling required, I was a Care Assistant with the elderly, this is a very physical job requiring lots of heavy tasks, even when you have the correct assistive equipment. When The Council retired me I felt lost, lonely and board, but they said I was a risk to the people I looked after. I am applying for ESA, but I don't know if I qualify yet. I may also apply for DLA. Disability Living Allowance is given to disabled people regardless of whether they work or not. Also I can pace myself at home, and work when I feel like it. Thats not possible in most paid employment. If a person with a disability has a job, they may well need extra help to keep that job. Things like Transport, someone to help with the heavy houshold jobs, assistance with getting young children ready for school in time , shopping. I could go on, the list seems endless. Personally I am beginning to find it hard to drive for longer than 10-15 minuetes, as my wrist are weak and even with power steering I have to give in for safety reasons - not the pain - which I could cope with, but for the sake of other road users. Public transport is not an opption as it dosen't exist here in the country-side where I live.

So carry on and do as much as you can safely do, thats great, but its not lazyness that keeps a lot of people at home.
Take care, Sue

janie68

I have to echo Sue's post as above.

If you want to push yourself and not claim benefits such as DLA etc that's up to you but please don't criticise people who do claim and even work as well. I work and have DLA and it enables me to work, although I realise it wont be much longer.

I feel a bit disappointed with your post and I understand that you are struggling, is it that you don't feel worthy of the extra help or something else?

Janie

skezier

Hi Sue and Janie,

I meant NO CRITSISUM at all. I am sorry if you have taken that I do. Cris

janie68

No Cris, it is the original post really.

You should answer the questions, does it hurt to do it? Yes then you need assistance to do task otherwise you will never apply.

Please accept the help offered you dont get any brownie points from anyone if you struggle and if it can make your life better then accept it and you may find things are easier and you can carry on longer.

Janie

skezier

Hi Janie,

I promise you I wouldn't criticize anyone. We all make our own way through this as best we can. Cris

tanith

janie68 wrote:

I have to echo Sue's post as above.

If you want to push yourself and not claim benefits such as DLA etc that's up to you but please don't criticise people who do claim and even work as well. I work and have DLA and it enables me to work, although I realise it wont be much longer.

I feel a bit disappointed with your post and I understand that you are struggling, is it that you don't feel worthy of the extra help or something else?

Janie

Thanks everyone for your input but I certainly was not criticising anyone who works while claiming DLA, I am in fact in awe of people who can manage to hold a job whilst suffering from any type of Arthritis... sorry you feel disappointed by my post but as I said in the OP I am having a stressful week and just wanted to put my feelings into some sort of context...

airwave

Since I am only relatively young at 54, DLA is a great help to get me around and I would recommend the Motorbility scheme. Don't be afraid of it, it isn't a label that we hang round our necks.

Some of us didn't have the chance to stay at work, I got the gentle push ten years ago.

Must get back to my gardening, then I can go fishing.....
8) Its a grin, honest!

woodbon

Hi,
I'm sorry if my posting upset anyone, working or not. My point is that it IS possible to claim DLA and work. That is what its for, to help people work, its also to help people who can't work. I wanted to point out that if anyone is struggleing, and I know many, many people are, then they can apply for benifit to help them cope. From memory I think that the wording of the questions are does it cause you extreme pain, or injury (which it does for lots of people). I had a post for Skiezer saying that I want her to kill her animals - nothing could be more distressing to me than ANYONE having to distroy their animals. I LOVE all animals so sending me private posts about this is hurtful to me. I did answer you and hoped you'd understand, Skiezer, that I was only pointing out that help from DLA would make life just very slightly easier. I know its hard to get down to filling in the forms - thats why I haven't yet claimed.

I have answered your posts before, I do remeber, not all the detail, I'm afraid my memory isn't that good. I hope this will make you see what I ment. I wish you good luck, coping whatever why is best for you. Sue

airwave

There are as many answers to the posts as there are people in this world. We are all different, we are merely establishing our many and varied stances by posting our experiences.

Benefits are available, not to all, I get a small pension because I was retired early, so can get nothing else. I fear a lot of others will be in the same boat as me, worried about the future and eventual retirement age and dealing with the present as best we can.
8) Its a grin, honest!

valval

hi all this is one of those subjects that no one will agree on we r all so different where we live which arther we have and at what stage .some like me at early stages oa others bad with ra and oa but we must all do what is right for us as individuals. i am putting off hospital for as long as i can as would take a lot of messing changing shifts at work ect, when not bad as yet but know time will come when will try anything to get help. same with benefits those who need them claim the rest will as and when they have a need we do not juge each other as familys dont they help and suport so good luck to all and have a good day

angel1

I feel I must comment once again on this subject, and hope that those comments are taken in the way that they are intended.

Reading again the original post from Tanith, I truly believe that there has been some over-reaction to what she said. Nowhere - as far as I can see, and please feel free to correct me - did she criticise anyone who claims benefits, whether working or not.

I actually felt that here was someone who was a victim of a society that makes us feel guilty for asking for help, and that she would far rather struggle on regardless. As I said in my original post, I find that admirable, although perhaps not completely realistic. I also felt that she, like many people, had taken the DLA forms quite literally, when they ask the "Can you" questions, without perhaps acknowledging the "Without pain" bit. This is why it is always best to get help when completing these forms.

Finally, her comments about knowing people who claim DLA whilst working, and seemingly not being as bad as she is, are actually the sort of comments that a lot of us have made on here.

I sincerely hope that I do not offend anyone with what I have I said. I guess I will find out.......Ange.

jenifur

granted i haven't read all the other posts, but i just wanted to say at 23 i claim everything for which i am entitled, DLA and IB no IS as my partner has good earning. im at uni but have never yet been able to work, i am currently deffering my 3rd year to fully recover from my THR.

it isnt giving up to claim. i have a positive outlook dispite the fact i have had this curse all my life - i dont take any drugs as i fight the pain with willpower - and you never know i might really REALLY need them eventually.

to ALL posters dont judge other people given solely on what you THINK you know, often people will tell you only the good bit if they choose to remain upbeat, those who struggle mentally to cope with the disease may only tell you the bad bits, even if they are only a fraction as poorly as the next person.


please, noone should ever consider it a weakness of self to except help, hell if i never accepted help, id always be bare foot, or at least with out socks!!!

Take care, Jen x x x