i cry

handsy

i am pleased as normal from the rapid response that everyone gets on here. as we all know each case is different and meds treatment is also. it seems to me that i have gotten worse since i started to be examined/diagnosed. i am in so much pain i just cant walk and from being all be it an over weight man i was pretty fit (ex forces) so i know its is also about your mental attitude. but i am becoming more and more depressed. i just cant seem to get in the proper frame of mind it has aged me drassticly in only a few months and i feel what does the future hold. it dont look to promising from here. i am normally very good with most thing that life throws at you i was a sergeant major in the army so think i am still a tough old cookie.i have never dreamt of being dissabled. its so hard to come to terms with.each day seems to bring a new place to inflict the wrath of arthritic pain that damn well hurts. and i cry honestly i cry. and again i'll say hope we all get some pain free time.

karinak

handsy wrote:

i am pleased as normal from the rapid response that everyone gets on here. as we all know each case is different and meds treatment is also. it seems to me that i have gotten worse since i started to be examined/diagnosed. i am in so much pain i just cant walk and from being all be it an over weight man i was pretty fit (ex forces) so i know its is also about your mental attitude. but i am becoming more and more depressed. i just cant seem to get in the proper frame of mind it has aged me drassticly in only a few months and i feel what does the future hold. it dont look to promising from here. i am normally very good with most thing that life throws at you i was a sergeant major in the army so think i am still a tough old cookie.i have never dreamt of being dissabled. its so hard to come to terms with.each day seems to bring a new place to inflict the wrath of arthritic pain that damn well hurts. and i cry honestly i cry. and again i'll say hope we all get some pain free time.

Hi, Poor you and i know how you are feeling as i left a tearful post too yesterday!, I have recently been diagnosed with RA and due to pill popping on Monday but this forum is so helpful and the kindness and support is overwhelming that that alone makes me tearful but hang in there as i have been told and it will get better.
Take care Karina x

handsy

cheers karina thankyou x

roczko

You're not alone if that's any help.

I've been very down and tearful for the last few weeks. I think it's partly due to everyone saying how much better I should be feeling in this lovely warm weather when frankly I'm not. I really don't do well in heat and I'm in quite a lot of pain.

The other week I was at the doctors and I cried - just that morning I lined up 9 different drugs that I had to take and I thought what the hell is it all about! He said it was a case of drug fatigue but of course, if I wanted to be well then there was no real alternative. And I know they do make me feel better than nothing at all.

I've been medically retired from my job for a few years now and if I'm honest I did rely on colleagues to carry me when I couldn't get in but it still feels like a blow to my self esteem. Even more so the Govt is putting pressure on the long term sick to come off IB. Who the heck will employ me? No one but I'm still expected to jump through their hoops to claim something that I've spent a good many years of my life paying into for just such an eventuality. Even then you're labelled a scrounger.

It's no wonder we feel as we do BUT I have two lovely dogs who treat me like royalty. Always pleased to see me and never chide or complain if I'm feeling below par. They really lift my spirits.

Take care and most of all look after yourself - no one else will.

All the best.

Patrick

page35

Hi hansy and kat
it is cr#p isnt it, ive got RA, diagnosed 5m ago. i must have cryed a river by now . i cant and wont accept im disabled and since being on MXT the pain has improved so much, i am having side effects from the mxt so hoping something can be done about that.
i am trying to live in the moment as much as poss. if i feel rubbish i try to not do to much and just exccept it (easier said than done)
but when i am having a good day everyone knows about it and i do as much as poss
some days i even feel normal and last week i was at a friends house and i didnt think about RA for at least 2 hours :shock:
i hope with the right meds things improve for you both
love page

skezier

Hi Hansy, Kat, Patric and Page,

We all have problems with acceptance and fears of the future and we all have these (in my case) pits of despair but I promise you over time it does get easier and you do find your way through it. I so wish I could tell you how and when it happens or how long it takes. Even after half my life I still have days where I feel very down. For me its looking at the future and so now I try not to look too far ahead.

I think the best advice (I can give you s its ok to feel like this and it is normal. It takes a while for the meds to work and I really hope you all feel better soon. ((( ))) to you all and Page a big ((((( ))))) for you. Tale care, Cris x

woodbon

Hello, It made me feel very sad for you, reading how hard you'r finding life at the moment. I don't have RA I have OA, so I don't know what your suffering is really like. I do know that a lot of people feel like you do from time to time and that its normal. I have read that depression is one of the symptoms of RA, so it could be to do with this as well. If it goes on much longer, it may be an idea to see if the doctor can help. Also the Helpline Team, number on the top right had side of the page, are good to talk to and can send out useful information. I've talked to them in the past and got some very useful help.

If possible, try and relax, maybe with a good book, or film. Be kind to yourself - you've had a shock. Even if you don't feel like it try a short walk, it helps me, I know. It can be hard to talk about this to to your partner, or a close friend, but if you can it may help a bit or you could try one of the support organisation numbers. Your choice will be the best one for you, I'm sure. Life will get better, even if its just leaning better ways to cope. Take care, Love Sue

lindalegs

Arthritis, pain and depression all go hand in hand but it does get better with meds and the nature of the disease itself. Acceptance is another awful thing we have to go through but that happens too.

Disabled is just a word, to me, it means that life offers me more challenges than most and I have to think of different ways to do certain things.

The hardest thing to cope with, I feel, is the frustration when the brain wants to do something but the pain says no.

Crying is normal when you consider what we're trying to cope with and tears are our release but don't ever give in to the pain. Do a bit and rest a bit and find your balance and you will get to somewhere you're happy with.

We all know how you feel as we've all been there but brighter days will come, I promise.

Luv Legs

sharmaine

Hi Handsy

Sorry to hear that you've been feeling so low. Please speak to your GP again and explain about the pain - your doctor may be able to give you something different/stronger. You should not have to suffer like this. Only an arthritis sufferer can understand the pain and it can get you down. It's good to cry. I don't know what medication your are on... I have OA and take co-dydramol (8 a day); amytriptiline 1-2 at night - this relaxes my muscles and helps me to sleep and diclofenac.

Make sure you take your meds when you should. I always find a little rest about 3.00 pm gives me the energy to cope with the rest of the day.

Take care.
Sharmaine

topgirl

Im sorry you feel so low at the moment...
I have cried many tears over the last few months...
Same as you, i was very physically fit before RA....running 4 times a week and gym everyday...now it takes a lot to go to the shop...
I was hoping to go for promotion at work this year and work more hours to get extra money for my boys...but im on long term sick and will have to reduce hours if i go back...
We are always here for you whenever you need us...
Take care
xxx

tkachev

I often feel my life was torn away from me.My OH and I loved going out camping and riding our scooters.Now he goes alone.
I was very fit,seven stone,happy,bubbly.Now i feel shattered,battered and old.
Sometimes the arthritis has been like torture and still friends and family expected everything to carry on as normal and I am expected to join in, which I cant.
The pain is now much better controlled and I hope to get some of my social life back but it is still a major planning operation to get some kind of life.
I hope you can come on the forum and chat to hopefully get this arthritis under control.

Regards Tkachev

eckstardeluxe

Don't be afraid to cry, trust me it's very cathartic. If you didn't have down days you'be a complete robot and who wants to be like that?

I am a very cheery type but if you read my first ever post here you'd have witnessed a woman at breaking point. Crying, sheesh, I had a complete breakdown after my diagnosis and ended up saying stuff to my Mother about all the things I couldn't do and that, yes that :oops: being one of them. Very embarrassing thinking back.

I do still have my down days and shed a tear, I did it just this week having to recount my story to the work's Dr. It shocked me as I thought mentally I was coping. It gets better over time, I know that is a cliche but it is true. Making sure you research your illness and get a balance with medication is extremely important. And finally, sharing. This forum single handedly transformed me from a broken woman to a positive thinking one. I know I'll never be able to do some things again and that hurts, but you have to then think of what you can do instead.

I hope you feel better for sharing this with us, we all have days like this and it really helps to know you are not alone. Take care

Eck x

dachshund

Hi Handsy.
I know how you feel arther wears you out things have to be done and you want to do them but when you try to do them thats a different thing all
together. we all now how you feel.
so when you feel upset just think there is some
one else who's feeling the same.
joan xx

vonski

Hi Handsy

Like the others have said you will have down days and it does do you good to cry. No point in trying to be brave and carry on as normal when you feel so low. Come on here and tell us about it after all the c in ac stands for care and we do. Hope you feel better soon.

Love
Vonski x

elnafinn

Hi John

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling down and in such a lot of pain and your mobility is bad. Even if you are normally good at coping with whatever life throws at you, there does come a time when it can get all too much. It is a vicious circle isn't it? You also have the added upset of things being rather strained at home and the added problem of trying to find alternative accomodation which is not proving easy for you. All that is an extra burden you could well do without at this time.

I am proud of you that you have shared with us that you cry. Many men would not admit it, some do not allow themselves to cry which is a great shame. Crying can help greatly. It is a release at least. It is much worse to bottle it all up inside.

Is your gp or whoever you see aware of exactly how you are feeling at the moment and how much pain you are in? You are not wasting their time by going to see your medic and if you do not go, they will not come to you.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you.

Luv
Elna x

mistywillow

pixyandfaries wrote:

just want to send you all a big kiss ! hope it makes you smile xxxxxxxxxx jan

Hi Handsy and all you others who are feeling down.
A big cyber hug for you all.
When your life changes because of illness, it is natural to be sad and to grieve for your losses. It is part of the acceptance process. There are days when I think we all feel 'what is the point, everything is just so oooo difficult.' but we really dont have a choice do we? Either we give in to it and have no life worth speaking of, or we make the best of our adverse circumstances and try and get as much out of life as possible. Pain is absolutely draining, but there are so many different drugs that you can try to alleviate it. Its horrible having to take so many tablets but as Patrick said its the only way to even begin to have some normality. I really do think that you need to get some help with your pain and then you will automatically begin to feel less despairing. I sincerely empathise with you, I was also once fit and energetic, riding, skiing, working, playing the piano and now can do none of those things BUT I have adjusted and when my pain is relatively under control I am happy and I love life.
I wish you all the best and this forum does make you feel less isolated. It takes one to know one as the saying goes
I hope you get your pain under control
Gillx

suncatcher

I have times i am getting on ok and then im ill or something happens or someone says something and i realize i am not strong on that point they push a button i did not realeze was a problem and it hurts i put on a front but it hurts.
I am not so good emotional like i once was that assurance has gone confidance in self has taken a battering it is a bareavement you grieve for your old self and trying to get your new self now new challenges new problems you have to over come or learn things you never knew you would
. We all cry time to time its nornal no shame in it. trying to take one day at a time is hard when youve always planned buts that is what i am forced to do my body seems to be the boss over the mind.
I think counselling should be offered but how many counsellors would understand what artheritis is all about.
I am hopeing to get on to a challenging atrtheris course or expert patient but been waiting so long now. I belive in knowledge is power so learn everything i can to beat this thing but it takes strenth to fight and it anint always possible as arther is a bad eneny to fight but i will keep on trying hope you do too. joanne

psyart

Hi - i was diagnosed 2 years ago and have only now begining to come to terms with it!! But this site does help!!!! I think you are going through the process of accepting 'arthur' into your life!! we have all gone through the feelings you are having now - some people do take longer than others, but the thing to remember is that you are not a failure for feeling these things!! sometimes i still feel that the doctors are going to tell me that they made a mistake and when i am getting ready to do my injections, i start to feel sick and want to cry!!!! but i have told myself that in the mornings when i wake up, i say to myself - today i am either doing ok or not too good but i have had worst days, so i am going to be ok!!!!!!! most days it works but some days i feel that crap that i just sink into self pity!!!!!! but i am allowing myself to have odd days like this because i need those days to be able to rest all day!!!!!! hope this makes sense????

take care

louise xx

frogmorton

Hi John
I agree with Elna
you are very honest to admit your feelings - ex forces and all that.
I just read this whole thread top to bottom and bawled my eyes out for us all!!! (was laid up with migraine yesterday).
I do hope that you and everyone else feel a bit better today or if not then very soon.
I will be thinking of you
Toni x