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Help Re Grievance Meeting Tomorrow

eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
Hi folks

I am attending an informal grievance meeting against my Manager tomorrow. I have half an hour to get my points over (as appointment at pain clinic) and need help on how to start and when and what to say in order.

My points are -

Manager's attitude, dirty looks, rude and aggressive manner

Manager's comments re my performance in front of team members

Manager's lack of confidentiality - discussed info re colleagues and made personal remarks about them outwith their presence

Manager's harassment of me over breaks being longer than normal, not coming to me and asking if any problems.

Manager's inappropriate comments to me about my condition ("I don't think you should be driving on Diazepam"(said in front of team members) , "I'd give up work if I was you"etc

Manger's failure to complete my Temporary Hours Request every two weeks, resulting in me being asked why I didn't turn up for work one day and why I was in on that day.

Manger's failure to complete paperwork detailing my hours have now changed from 30 to 18 resulting in an overpament of over £1500.

The person dealing with it stated they are talking to me then the other party then deciding on a resolution. Does anyone know if they take info from both first or if she when talking to my manager tells her what I've said. (the reason this worries me as I think once she hears I am bringing all that to the table, she only thinks I'm complaining about her bullying, she will just bring up anything or even make stuff up to save herself)

Also when they ask what I hope to gain from this, is it fair to ask for a move from her team as I have no faith or trust in her?

Thanks if anyone can help


Eck

Edited as hours reduced to 18 not from30 to 18 (but I think you lot got the jist!)

Comments

  • onedayoneday Posts: 1,650
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi folks

    I am attending an informal grievance meeting against my Manager tomorrow. I have half an hour to get my points over (as appointment at pain clinic) and need help on how to start and when and what to say in order.

    My points are -

    Manager's attitude, dirty looks, rude and aggressive manner

    Manager's comments re my performance in front of team members

    Manager's lack of confidentiality - discussed info re colleagues and made personal remarks about them outwith their presence

    Manager's harassment of me over breaks being longer than normal, not coming to me and asking if any problems.

    Manager's inappropriate comments to me about my condition ("I don't think you should be driving on Diazepam"(said in front of team members) , "I'd give up work if I was you"etc

    Manger's failure to complete my Temporary Hours Request every two weeks, resulting in me being asked why I didn't turn up for work one day and why I was in on that day.

    Manger's failure to complete paperwork detailing my hours have now changed from 18 to 30 resulting in an overpament of over £1500.

    The person dealing with it stated they are talking to me then the other party then deciding on a resolution. Does anyone know if they take info from both first or if she when talking to my manager tells her what I've said. (the reason this worries me as I think once she hears I am bringing all that to the table, she only thinks I'm complaining about her bullying, she will just bring up anything or even make stuff up to save herself)

    Also when they ask what I hope to gain from this, is it fair to ask for a move from her team as I have no faith or trust in her?

    Thanks if anyone can help


    Eck

    Hi

    First before you do anything have you spoken to your union rep. If you cant get hold of one say to the Manager you need to postpone the meeting as you are taking advice and dont say anything else.
    Then see your rep. Write everything down your Manager has said.
    Have you seen occupational health, is Manager going against their advice...Manager would be in trouble here...
    Dont let her know what youre doing until see Rep, be armed and ready.
    Manager in the wrong and you need to know correct approach!
    Good Luck
    p.s. look on your Union or big union web sites for tips on grievances, ACAS site,employment law etc etc.
    another p.s. half an hour isnt long enough! say you need to re arrange as have medical appointment.
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    half an hour....no way can you fit it all in :shock:
    your going to need that just for one issue.......
    Im in two minds to tell you to change the date cos you are going to be fed up if you dont feel you have got your point across....
    Right your list and try to remain calm( says me who always ends up blubbering....)
    Your boss will be quaking in his/her boots...
    Be aware that your boss may already have spoke to HR on how to deal with your condition....I know mine was....
    I do think it would be reasonable to change dept....but they very well go down the route that your boss didnt know how to deal with you and will receive futher training and you need to give her a chance....
    Are there witnesses to comments ect????if so they will talk to them too....believe me i often deal with investigations and they can go on all day!!!!HR will want to cover every angle so there is no come back at a later date.....
    Good luck and let me know how it goes....I will be thinking of you...
    xxx
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    oneday wrote:
    Hi folks

    Hi

    First before you do anything have you spoken to your union rep. If you cant get hold of one say to the Manager you need to postpone the meeting as you are taking advice and dont say anything else.
    Then see your rep. Write everything down your Manager has said.
    Have you seen occupational health, is Manager going against their advice...Manager would be in trouble here...
    Dont let her know what youre doing until see Rep, be armed and ready.
    Manager in the wrong and you need to know correct approach!
    Good Luck
    p.s. look on your Union or big union web sites for tips on grievances, ACAS site,employment law etc etc.
    another p.s. half an hour isnt long enough! say you need to re arrange as have medical appointment.

    Hi, yes Union very angry and aware. My rep is coming tomorrow even though it's informal, purely for support. I have lots of info on colleagues, I could only know if it had been given by her as the members have never told me themselves.

    I've decided to be very vague and state the above without going into details. My Resolution will be a move and action being taken against my Manager. I remember how she coped when someone even dared try it before and know for a fact she will deny, deny deny. In fact when I wrote to her and told her to have no communication with me whatsoever and that I was sick of her personal remarks etc she said "I absolutely refute these insinuations and have passed them with my own rep to deal with"

    I'm going to hold back and if she denies it, then I'm going to hit her with everything. Really serious stuff she's told us breaking confidentiality.

    Saw OH previously who said "Treat this individual very sensitively re any management issues as very vulnerable, it is expected she will be late from breaks as apt to walk with a limp, covered legally by the DDA, needs extra breaks due to a renal condition"

    Saw the OH Dr Thursday and awaiting his report. I know though he has stated "It will benefit all in site if ********* is moved to be closer to the toilets, canteen facitilies and doors etc" as I sit at the very back of the building furthest away from everything.

    I timed my walk from my desk, to the bathroom, to the canteen for a hot drink and back to my desk and on a good day with no limp it took 7 minutes. I have been told I must not take longer than 5, she is telling me I should take all my OH breaks in a 5 minute microbreak so against the report.
  • ninakangninakang Posts: 2,056
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As well as all the excellent advice above - I would ask for the appointment to be rescheduled. Half an hour isn't long enough and you have a valid reason.

    They won't tell your manager what you said specifically but they will have to tell your manager what the terms of your grievance are so s/he can tell their side. They might also have written to your manager to tell them that you have put in a grievance and loosely what about (i.e. "You are required to attend a grievance hearing on _____. A grievance of unprofessional and bullying behaviour has been made against you").

    I hope this helps, but please PLEASE ask for a new date so you can spend longer putting your points across. Your list is very good - have you got specific dates and times also?

    If you don't have a union rep, you should take along a colleague for support if you don't want to go it alone.

    Best of luck, don't forget to come back and tell us how it went.

    Nx
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh forgot....
    whenever i have done an investigation( same as infomal grievence i think???)...it can be sprung on any one so she may not be aware its happening...
    BUT.....a crafty soul will suss it as HR may ask what shift she is on and ask to see copies of paperwork....so YES she will try to save her skin...but let her....You know you are in the right....plus she needs to be given a fair chance so she she doesnt put in a grievence about HR being unfair...
    When i had problems with my boss( not as bad as you tho)...HR were really good and encouraged me to take action...
    Although i am still of sick i have to speak to my boss every month with an update and she is sweetness and light( but probably tho gritted teeth...LOL)...
    She has also admitted to a collegue that she knows she was wrong..........but she would never say it to me...... :lol:
  • debatatdebatat Posts: 659
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, just wanted to wish you well for tomorrow!

    Deb
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi thanks everyone for all your responses.

    Because after tomorrow that's me off until Tuesday I really wanted to get the ball rolling so told the Higher Manager this, she said if we don't have enough time we will ajourn, which I was ok with as I said need to get this off my chest before I go off.

    Can you believe this woman had me break down in tears on Tuesday? Everyone I know can't believe it, I've never said this except to hubby etc and please folks don't be upset with me but the reason I was angry is because she is totally abusing her power. No way would this wench dare talk to me like this outside work. I actually saw myself going over to her and decking her at her desk and I told the Union to get me out of here before I get myself sacked. It was like a few months of rage just suddenly blew.

    Nina I don't have specific dates with some incidents as on mega meds - 3600mg Gabapentin, Diazepam, Tramadol, Amytryptline, Diclofenac, I can only remember some. The good thing is HR have sent reminders to her about my pay which were ignored and another Rep witnessed her shout and swear and stamp off when I asked if he could come to the first informal she tried to get me on. She failed, I scrutinised al my posts here and jotted one down from January when I answered someone on here telling them she'd told me just to give up. I have word for word my post saying how upset it made me as it was like she wanted me not to return and screw with her absence record and try and start disciplining me and get me out the door. Obviously I have not printed it for obvious reasons.
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    she will get a warning at the very least......
    Only you know how clever she is though......Im sure she will go down the route of ' under too much pressure at work' and 'didnt know how to support her'..ect....you have got loads of evidence....please dont worry....
    Saying that ,im dreading the time when i go back to work..
    XXX
  • markc1markc1 Posts: 253
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Good luck to you....if anybody can win its you! :wink:
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi folks

    Well how well did today go?


    Told my story, very calmly, explained why I must be treated vulnerably (this is something I have never shared on here, very hard thing to tell people, but my Manager knows)

    I only cried after talking about the wages part, but got it together again. I was very vague re the accusations but always staing if we were progressing to Formal I'd bring out evidence, witnesses etc.

    After I said my resolution was to be moved and Manager to be talked to re these issues and training required, the Top Dog said she had a feeling I'd ask to be moved downstairs as had said it to my Manager already and she knew the Dr would say it too. She had arranged for me from next week when I go back to be in another team, the Manager I'm going to, have spoke to quite a few and the comments ranged from"oh he's a sweetheart""how did you manage to get into his team? :shock: "to "awww he is lovely, not a bad bone in his body"

    RESULT!!!!

    Obviously they know what she is like behaviour wise, but a colleague told me she saw her reaction to my letter and she shouted "NO" in the call centre drawing everyone's attention and ran to the Manager with a face that was "scarlet". Obviously shook up.

    I think they knew I was not backing down, was very prepared to go all the way with it and because of the sensitive issues knew they'd be in serious trouble.


    But the lady dealing with it was very diplomatic and supportive, I went to the pain clinic after and they noticed I was not myself (my physio was in on the appointment) I told them what had been going on and that I was trying to write everything down for the solicitors about the negligence claim and I ended up telling them how sad and angry I was about the arthur and why it was caused. The OH nurse recommended immediate counselling in March and my family had been telling me to go too, but I felt a failure going back.

    Well today I called the Dr, admitted I'd relapsed and she is phoning me back tomorrow after speaking with my old Counsellor. I can't believe I'm doing it, big step for me. But today just gave me the kick up the **** I needed!
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Eck!!!!!
    great result...bloody shame it has all been so stressful.
    Im sure thats why you feel so down.
    My Gp once said to me that when in stressful situations we tend to feed of the adrenilin( spelling?) and seem to cope very well..
    Its afterwards that the problems can start...
    so im not surprised you are feelin so low after a great result...its NORMAL...
    Pour it all out to the councilor...hopefully you will feel better....
    Good luck sweetheart...
    xxx
  • debatatdebatat Posts: 659
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well done!!!! It must have took such a lot to go through with this, but I am pleased you have got what you wanted.

    I hope things work out for you, it will have been a very emotional and stressful day so rest up and plan something nice. Be gentle with yourself you are bound to feel a bit fragile for a couple of days.

    You must be so proud of yourself.

    Deb x
  • markc1markc1 Posts: 253
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Told you! :wink:
  • ninakangninakang Posts: 2,056
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Woohoo! Victorious!

    Nx :-)
  • chrissycatchrissycat Posts: 28
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Eck

    I'm so glad things are starting to work out for you.. you're so brave to be able to go through all this. No wonder you're not feeling well..:(

    Hopefully your Manager will get her marching cards one day.. if your company had any sense.

    take care

    Love

    Christine
    xx
  • eckstardeluxeeckstardeluxe Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi folks, thanks for all your support. It really means alot.

    Very happy I'm moving, although the inevitable bumping into each other is going to happen and probably when I'm on my own and she's got her cronies with her.

    Just at the point now though, although it will be uncomfortable, that I'll give her absolute daggers!

    I mentioned this to a friend though and they thought I was paranoid, see what you lot think.

    Her Union Rep is a Manager, he sits next to me at a corner desk. I see him taking phonecalls etc all day but on Thursday, her day off, prior to my meeting I heard him take one and turn his back to me talking very quietly and saying "don't make any rush decisions, I'll be out later" I just had a strong gut feeling this was her phoning him. Never trusted in my instincts in the past but decided to this time.

    Coming back from the Pain Clinic, I saw him and the Decision maker drive away in his car, away for a few hours.

    I have a feeling they went out to see her at her house. Anyone else think I'm paranoid?
  • topgirltopgirl Posts: 290
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    no i dont think so.....
    Dont let him worry you tho...She prob has got people who she wants on her side..
    have a nice fresh start in your new office and just get on with the job....
    You are a good strong person....
    xx
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