Bad news for me

tkachev

I have just had some bad news.
My lovely 23 year old daughter has been referred to a rheumatologist.When she told me my heart fell to the bottom of my stomach and I felt sick.I just cannot bear the thought of my daughter going through what I have gone through!
She is well aware of the effects because she was living with me when mine started.She has been ill for over a year and had to give up her teaching job,having worked so hard to get her degree,with all the debts that come with it.
It is not conclusive at this point.Her appt is end Sept.Originally she was told she had glandular fever,then thyroids and now poss R.A
Thanks for listening
Tkachev

valval

hi at least if worse comes to worse u can help with decisions about best meds for her and if it is if she get the right meds life will be much better for her than it must be at present which ever way it goes she has u and that will help her good luck to both of u

suzster

fingers crossed it's not RA, my worst fear is my children getting RA, i'm keeping everything crossed that test come back showing no RA. KEEP US POSTED AND I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU BOTH COME SEPTEMBER
SUE (oop's, i didn't mean to shout!)

woodbon

Hello,
I so sorry to hear your news; it must have been hard to hear, having this disease yourself. I have no children, due to anotber illness and surgery, when I was young, but I'm sure it must be one of the hardist things for a perent to know their child is suffering.

She does have a lot of things in her favour, though, I have OA so I don't know so much about RA, but I do know that the earlier its diagnosed and treatment started, the better and the doctors seem to be keen to make a diagnosis. Also, its not yet confirmed, so theirs still a chance that its not RA but something curable. If it is RA, being young, your daugter may well, in future years, have new and better treatment, the outlook for her has to be brighter than it was when you were diagnosed. Not much, I know, but some light at the end of the tunnel has to be better than none.

Please don't feel I'm belittleing your daughters suffering, I'm certainly not and although its impossible for me to know how bad you feel, I just wanted you to think about the positives in the situation, and their are some. Hard to see at the moment, but you will in time.
All my very best wishes and hoping that things turn out much better than you fear. Love Sue
PS Lots of people, as I'm sure you know, have this disease and yet manage to live normal lives.

ninakang

Sorry to hear of your troubles. I hope her appointment goes well, it might not be arthur, try to stay positive until she's actually had a diagnosis.

Nx

sharmaine

It is always a worry when our children are ill. When will she get the test results back?

Be strong and if it is RA you will be able to help her out. She has youth on her side and a loving mother. Regards to you both.

Take care.
Sharmaine

frogmorton

Hi Tkachev
I do hope that all goes well with your daughter.
I am pleased that they are taking her seriously enough to gte to the bottom of the problem. Probably partly to do with your history.
I Will cross my fingers that she is ok and send you some good vibes too
Take care
Toni x

skezier

Hi TK,

I really hope it goes well with your daughter, you must be worried sick just now. It may not be arthritis but if it is she is lucky to have you there to help her through it. Take care, Cris

elnafinn

Dear Tk

My heart goes out to you. As I read your thread, my heart leapt a beat and my stomach turned over as this is a parents nightmare. I often think, will my daughter get OA like me and my mum. My daughter will be 30 next month. We always worry about our children but I would feel so very guilty if she contracted OA now. She does suffer with lower back problems occasionally and then fearful thoughts flash through my mind.

I feel very sorry for you both, for different reasons but ultimately the same. I shall hope so very hard that your daughter does not have RA. Waiting until the end of September is a long, long time to wait.

I send you both lots of love and gently hugs, you certainly need them. I definitely would in your position and my daughter would want plenty of TLC too.

Please do keep us informed.

Love
Elna x

lindalegs

Tkachev, I'm sorry you have this worry - as a parent it's what we all dread. We can cope if it's ourselves but it's harder if it's our child.

The Rheumatologist may yet find that things aren't as bad as you fear....let's hope.

Take care and let us know what happens.

Luv Legs

psyart

Hi

sorry to hear this news. cyper hugs to you and family. keep us posted.

Louise x

ritwren

Your post has brought tears to my eyes. My heart breaks at the thought at any of our Children having this awful disease. It is in truth one of my worst nightmares.
But.....you are strong and as with all things will no doubt help her through things. As time goes on there are huge advances being made and over the past several years new treatments have become available which are making life more bearable for folk. I can only wish you both all the best luck in the world for that appointment and what will follow.
rita

debatat

Sorry you are having to deal with this, as a parent it is so hard to see our children suffer. Let us know she gets on.

Take care

Deb

harleyd14

Dear TK
oh hun, i hope this isnt RA, as i know you dont, but if IF it is then at least you can give her the knowledge that you actually KNOW how she feels and give her all the support you can, which i know you would anyway.
but lets hope its NOT RA, we will all keep our fingers, toes, eyes...everything crossed for good news.
take care hun and please let your daughter know that we are all thinking of her and sending her all our best wishes. lots of love Sally.xx

eckstardeluxe

Oh, I am so sorry you have had this news.

The only good thing about my arthur is I know it was caused by trauma. I didn't know anything about arthritis at my diagnosis, was very ignorant really, and the first inevitable question I asked was "will my kids get this?" when they said no and why this was of great comfort to me.

When I was upset after the diagnosis my Mum trying to be subjective said "well Alex, would you rather it was you or the kids?" and I obviously said me.

As a parent we know we would take anything for our kids, suffer any illness for them, we wish when they are sick we could have the pain instead. For you to have heard this news must truly have been devastating. I would be the same.

I really hope this isn't RA, but if the worst comes to it, then I'm sure because of your knowledge and understanding you will be the best support for her, you will cope together. You must be worrying so much just now, I hope your daughter is treated quickly and gets answers soon.

Please let us know how everything goes, your daughter and you, will be in my thoughts.

Eck xxx

tkachev

Thankyou so much for your lovely thoughtful replies.I needed another perspective on this and you have given it to me.

My daughter doesnt live with me so I dont see her symptons.We both try to keep our problems to ourselves so that we dont cause any worry to the others in the family But I could hear the fear in her voice.She does not like fuss so I wont be able to comfort her too well.I think she just wants to know what is happening like a lot of new people on this forum.
I suppose she is lucky to get an appointment so soon.It was only when she told g p about my R.A that they looked more seriously at her, as apparentlyauto immune diseases can be hereditory,although I have always been told R.A is not,thankfully.

I will wait until end Sept and try to carry on as normal.Things were going so well......

Luv Tkachev X

eckstardeluxe

tkachev wrote:

Thankyou so much for your lovely thoughtful replies.I needed another perspective on this and you have given it to me.

My daughter doesnt live with me so I dont see her symptons.We both try to keep our problems to ourselves so that we dont cause any worry to the others in the family But I could hear the fear in her voice.She does not like fuss so I wont be able to comfort her too well.I think she just wants to know what is happening like a lot of new people on this forum.
I suppose she is lucky to get an appointment so soon.It was only when she told g p about my R.A that they looked more seriously at her, as apparentlyauto immune diseases can be hereditory,although I have always been told R.A is not,thankfully.

I will wait until end Sept and try to carry on as normal.Things were going so well......

Luv Tkachev X

I understand your post. It is true when children move out of the family home things are kept from each other out of respect for the other's feelings. I keep loads from my parent's and although a parent now myself, at the end of the day, I'm still my Mum and Dad's girl. No-one can comfort you like your parents IMO. They can make or break you with one comment. I really think if you offer the help, even just talking, even if your daughter tries to hide or refuse it, she will feel wonderful that she knows you care and want to help.

Eck x

josiec

Thinking of you both - fingers crossed re results, but as others have said, you have each other and that's valuable. Please keep us posted. Sending very best wishes to you both, Josie