u will end up in a wheel chair

valval
valval Member Posts: 15,897
edited 31. Aug 2009, 06:09 in Living with Arthritis archive
this is what my mum said i am sure she did not mean it as it came out, but does she think i can stop this arthritis and that i want it .am fighting with my weight because am over weight and find exercise difficult at the moment carefull what i eat but although not loosing much at least not putting any on why do people not stop and think before saying hurtfull things to us we r scared enough when we stop and think of the future sorry to go on but needed to get it off my chest as was winding my self up over it
val

Comments

  • debbierose
    debbierose Member Posts: 403
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Mam's can be daft sometimes I,m one my self and not meaning to be hurtful I sometimes say things to my girls that they don't like.
    my girlie doesn't eat for days on a end and then stuffs herself silly,
    last time I had it out with her I told her that her belly would burst open. it made her cry and made me cry too but aleast she thought about eating every day for a little while
    maybe your Mam was doing the same thing for you
    keep your chin up chick
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks she getting on a bit and tends to say things to all of us with out thinking how it will make us feel winds me and my brothers up. she will say i need to loose weight then fetch cakes or breakfast lol no winning with mums u just have to love them
    val
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks might go to cain and able for couple of stiff ones who on bar tonight lol
    val
  • annebr
    annebr Member Posts: 730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Typical Mum think they can say what they like and can't understand what you are upset about.

    Anne
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    well in pjs now with little drink world looking much nicer place lol thankyou all was down and it always helps when u r there :D:D:Da065.gif
    val
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 8,043
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Val

    I am so sorry to hear what your mum said to you. I am sure she did not mean it either, if you usually get on well with her. Perhaps you should have asked her why exactly she said it or is it best with your mum to leave well alone? Something must have triggered her to say that and I am intrigued what. She is probably very worried about you and it all came out very wrong like things can, sometimes.

    Bless you Val, hope you are feeling comfy in your pj's and enjoying your drink.

    Keep posting on here, I like to read your threads an to hear how you are going on.

    Luv and gentle hugs
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks do go on a bit but keeps my mind going when body screeming at me lol
    val
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks having egg custard had chocolate last night tut tut but lovely
    val
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    but great at the time like the jelly ones mind u if it a sweet it ok by me
    val
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think sometimes people say stuff without thinking that it will upset the other person. Maybe your Mum is like me when I first found out, not very knowledgable about Arthritis, I kept asking the Drs if I'd end up in a wheelchair to be told "No, never". I know people who have said things to me without thinking and it does hurt but I'm the type who has to answer back automatically and I say something then feel guilty about it because I wasn't really thinking.

    Hope you feel better soon. x
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Val,

    Sorry I am late to this. I think as the others say people say things without thinking. Mothers seem to be especially good at it but I am sure she didn't mean to hurt you. A ((( ))) for you and I hope today your feeling better about it. Cris x
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi mentaly much better. thanks but skipped meds as had a drink and do not like to mix the two, but needed the drink more .very rarely drink so bit of one off, mind u waiting for pain meds to kick in this morning is a bit of a pain lol . even been in hot bath to get going today sun out and smile back on face so all well
    val
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, People often make remarks without thinking. I bet thats what your Mum did and if you pointed out what she said, she'd be really upset! Mums are sometimes, to, not the most tactful of people! :roll: . I'd give anything to have mine back, though, she would be quite able to upset someone without even noticing, but when you pointed out what she'd said she would be really upset.
    She had to have a wheel chair to go outside, and she fought us all trying to not have one, but when she did she was thrilled to be able to go for walks again and go shopping, she used to take her stick and hook it round anything she liked in a shop, to lift it of the rail. Very convenient! Mad me blush a few times! :D Love Sue
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,407
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It makes me wonder why people always consider going into a wheelchair to be the worst imaginable thing that can happen to you? :?

    What is a wheelchair - it's a chair on wheels :? What is a car - it four chairs on wheels with an engine. No one ever says - you'll end up in a car :shock: :shock: yet disabled and able bodied alike, we all use cars and love them.

    I'm not in a wheelchair, at the moment, but before my TKRs I used one and I loved to have the ability to go out again, without it I would have been housebound and, for me, that's a far more depressing situation to be in.

    Just my thoughts, anyway.

    Luv Legs :D
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    did say to oh on sat when we went shopping would be usefull to have wheel chair as i can not walk far with out a rest and could put all the shopping on it so it would be usefull but the thought is scarry
    val
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lindalegs wrote:
    It makes me wonder why people always consider going into a wheelchair to be the worst imaginable thing that can happen to you? :?

    What is a wheelchair - it's a chair on wheels :? What is a car - it four chairs on wheels with an engine. No one ever says - you'll end up in a car :shock: :shock: yet disabled and able bodied alike, we all use cars and love them.

    I'm not in a wheelchair, at the moment, but before my TKRs I used one and I loved to have the ability to go out again, without it I would have been housebound and, for me, that's a far more depressing situation to be in.

    Just my thoughts, anyway.

    Luv Legs :D

    I think both you and Sue give very psoitive views on wheelchairs, that is nice to hear. I think it is the fear of the unknown and the thought of people seeing you in one that scares people. But so nice to hear about how they can give people a new lease of life.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    would quite like one of those elecrtic ones could play chicken with the oaps around here who run u down if u do not move out of there way
    val
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :lol: val i want a purple one with pink go faster stripes on it ! and my freind over the road who also has oa want one with pimp my ride on the back and we gonna have races up and down the street !! :lol::lol: ................ i could have done with one for ikea today its a huge store to walk arouind :shock:

    For some reason, I've always had this image of me in my head of when I get very old as a miserable old bugger who only gets out her chair to scare the bairns that come into her garden and all the kids go round saying that I'm a real witch and stuff. :D
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    will u have a black cat as well just to make things look even better
    g075.gif
    could not find black one
    val
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, Last week my neice phoned me up in the middle of the morning to tell me her OT is arranging an electric wheel chair for her. She is so exited, over the moon. I've made her promise not to go out alone until shes used to it!!!! I might send her some L plates! :D

    Love Sue
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 15,897
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    and some go faster stripes in pink hope she finds it a big help
    val