Justification for my existents

mellman01

Sorry I’ve been away on me hol’s so this is going to be a long one.
I shall begin.
Why is it when I try and get over how bloody painful OA can be I get treated as either I’m exaggerating or faking it just because I’m not doubled up with pain and only able to walking on crutches, I really have had a gut full of them, I was talking with one of them last night at a party, just because I seemed OK to him i.e. I could stand up without to much discomfort due to the fact I’m flare free right now he had no sympathy for me whatsoever, when I tried to explain how my symptoms can go from one extreme to another he as good as accused me of exaggerating it and said I am dwelling on it and shouldn’t be so negative as I could have something worse like cancer, I am totally worn out with it and them, I’m feed up with constantly trying to defend myself, since my op I have nearly lost my mind trying to understand and or predict my symptoms, I’ve given up doing so and just take it from day to day, the only thing I have found is I have periods of day’s or weeks where the pain is almost unnoticeable it can be as if I don’t have OA, one day I am able to walk the dog for a mile or two with not to much discomfort use stares go shopping etc, the next I can’t stand up without feeling sick due to incredible pain in my knees, and if I attempt to go round the super market I can only last a few minutes before retiring to the car even with Tramadol swimming around me veins.
I’ve got an appointment to see the company Doc again this month but I’m close to telling the nurse to stick where the sun don’t shine and I won’t be attending as I can’t see any point to it as all he will do is ask the same stupid flippin questions he normally does.
God have I got a monk on or what right now, to rub salt in the wounds even my wife says I’m to negative when I am having a flare, she’s right in a way but I find the constant pain is like acid it slowly destroys my mind to a point where I can’t think straight or concentrate, even cooking which I really love to do becomes to much for me, some day’s I don’t know if I should laugh or cry, if it weren’t for the discos biscuits my good old GP has put me on I think I would be playing on an indoor bouncy castle with a pair of underpants on my head two pencils up me nose shouting wibble while wearing a jacket that has sleeves that tie up at the back. Right that’s me spleen vented how is everyone today.

valval

can understand where u r coming from. people just do not get it ,the trouble is if u do not feel it how can u. i feel this pain some days can stand straight and others can hardly stand at all one day in hands then next feet this hip but still find it hard to understand and cope with. my oh was off work for 6 months with bad neck and must admit by the end was not very sympathetic as we had started to get on each others nerves so sure your oh does not mean to hurt u but just trying to keep u positive . it is hard and hope u feel more positive and as for those who do not get it they r just small minded simple people who u should feel sorry for keep strong make oh a cup of t

livinglegend

I never try to 'defend' myself at parties, especially if the tangle-foot/giggle-juice has been freely flowing. As alcohol flows in, common sense flows out.

Remember the saying, 'walk a mile in my shoes'. I always say that they couldn't walk a mile in mine, that's the problem. Also, people can't see pain and if they notice someone standing/walking about, then they think you are cured. It helps if you quietly remind people that it fluctuates and your 'good' day is paid for by the downs of the next 'bad' day. Describe in graphic detail your last bad day and bore them into submission.

Works for me.

Joseph 8)

newbury1

So annoying when people just don't understand how painful this can be.

My answer to them, are you me? are you inside my head? No, well how can you possibly know what it feels like and how painful it is when k***ends like you say "I know how you feel"

Fellow sufferers excepted of course as they truly do understand!

frogmorton

Hi Mellman
Joseph is right - no point talking to people like that eh. They don't want to hear and don't really care. Very few people are genuinely interested and the ones who are are likely to be in the same or similar position. Alcohol does make people a bit too free with their opinions
I know what you mean about being in pain. When it happens it is so bad that I cannot think about anything else at all. Just the pain. I try not to talk to other people about it, but It is all I think about. It is hard to be positive when you are in agony eh?
Good to see your sense of humour has not gone though, (be careful jumping with sharp objects up your nose!), and don't forget we will always listen to each others' moans!
Take care
Toni x

ritwren

It's difficult, not just for other people but even for people living with Arthritis to understand how things can be fairly good one day and dreadful the next. This is something I am still trying to adjust to, pacing myself so that when I do feel able to do things, I don't over do it and suffer the next day, or maybe for the rest of the week.
. Perhaps the forthcoming Arthritis week will help educate people as to the problems associated with this disease.
Hope we all have some good moments today
rita

valval

hi been thinking you could always kick there ancle very hard and then tell them to imagin that all over there body u might get black eye or arrested but they will not ask u again

woodbon

Hi, Its horrible to be questioned about your health by someone like that. It would be easy for me to say give them a rude reply, but that is hard to do and may upset you both. I just try and say 'well, i've got arthritis' and leave it. I've never really had anyone try and go much further, because I try to put an 'end of story' sound in my voice and look on my face. So far, but I know its not been that long, it seems to have worked. I do explain to people I know well or like and mostly, they seem OK with it. Love Sue

lindalegs

Hi Mellman,

I think it's a hard fact of life that pain is individual and other people (apart from fellow sufferers) aren't really interested and don't want to know.

If people ask me about my arthritis and I'm feeling a bit grim I just say 'I'm a bit uncomfortable today' and then change the subject to more interesting things. I find my own pain boring to talk about and if I talk about it, I'm dwelling on it and that makes me feel worse.

The only comment that really makes me angry comes from those morons who say "It's alright for you you're used to pain!" :shock: :x ... have you had that yet? I do have a rather unladylike reply for that one

Hope you feel a bit happier soon.

Luv Legs

joyful164

lindalegs wrote:

Hi Mellman,

I think it's a hard fact of life that pain is individual and other people (apart from fellow sufferers) aren't really interested and don't want to know.

If people ask me about my arthritis and I'm feeling a bit grim I just say 'I'm a bit uncomfortable today' and then change the subject to more interesting things. I find my own pain boring to talk about and if I talk about it, I'm dwelling on it and that makes me feel worse.

The only comment that really makes me angry comes from those morons who say "It's alright for you you're used to pain!" :shock: :x ... have you had that yet? I do have a rather unladylike reply for that one

Hope you feel a bit happier soon.

Luv Legs

I agree with you luv legs.

I get bored with talking about it. If I keep busy it takes my mind off it.

Hoping you are having a good day today.
love
Joy

debatat

Sorry you have to put up with some peoples lack of empathy. I bet the same person bores you senseless when they have a cold!!!

Hope today is a better day for you.

Take care

Deb

plmb48

i was once talking to someone when they said they had a very bad pain in their leg i said it could be a bit of arthritis they said it couldnt be that because it was so very painful
what a PLONKER X pauline :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: