Pain moods and Prozac

mellman01

Hi all does anyone feel the same way as me, and that’s when you get the start of a flare do you get a deep feeling of well almost of dread knowing what’s going to be in store for you and do you get very despondent worn down by the pain when your in mid flare, like being in a deep dark pit?., but on the other hand when it’s past I seem to forget the terrible time I’ve just been through, almost like my brain is blocking it out?, that’s what happens to me.
The real crushing thing is I feel like a total fraud when things are quite, but as soon as specific pain signals start surfacing again back down in the pit I start to slide and the cycle repeats.
I’m on Prozac at the moment and it helps smooth this transition out and it’s helped my general mood swings but I would say it’s not really reduced any of my pain symptoms in any marked way. Although my OC health lot constantly remind me I’m making my pain a lot worse by being negative.
Isn’t it easy to stand on the other side of the fence and tell someone it’s partly in their mind so stop being so stop dwelling on it. Ha I'd love to be able to make them go though what I have to.

joyful164

Hello mellman
There was a time about 18 months ago when I felt like you describe. I was frightened about what was in store for me and was visulising myself using a wheelchair or something. Because my OH had suffered a heart attack 5 years earlier, I was worried about the strain of my condition would be on him. The pain got me down.
I was trying various medication trying to get the balance right. A lot of medication does seem to mess your mind about.
And now, I have learnt to work through all those feelings. As the OT girl said when she was here a few minutes ago. I have engineered myself round objects and obstructions. It is a big learning curve for all of us and I treat it as a friend now. Not a very nice one but one I can put in it's place. I'm lucky, I have my art to lose myself in for an hour or two each day. I recently organised my own art exhibition. If you get the Arthritis Care magazine bi-monthly you will read about celebs who also work around this thing called arthritis. I find the stories very inspiring.
I wish you a good and pain free day soon.

Joy

mellman01

Thanks Joy, my problem is my OA seems to come and go it’s driving mad trying to second guess the dam thing, it’s typical of me I can’t even get OA right.
In the past I’ve even had the odd day when I don’t seem to get any symptoms, mind you I’m taking Nortriptyline so this masks some of the low grade back scatter pain I get, I had this a few weeks ago, walked out of work on a Wednesday chipper as you like then by 03.00 hours on Thursday I was woken with the dam pain back in my right knee again, It was all I could do to hobble to the loo, standing was almost unbearable like my knee or knees are in a vice and someone is tightening it up the longer I am vertical. When it’s like this even the Tramadol doesn’t work. how in hell can it do this??:?

frogmorton

Hi
What you say does sound very very familiar. A bit like childbirth you have to forget the pain otherwise the population would die out!
I feel like a fraud when I am well too Even though the symptoms never completely go away - they are not noticeable to otheres so I do feel a fraud!
As for those who make unhelpful comments like stop being negative - wouldn't it be nice if - for one day -????
Anyway I take it you are heading into one now? If you are please stay talking to us and I will cross my fingers that it is short and as painless as poss!
Take care
Toni x

Wonkylegs

HI,

I too recognise very well what you are describing. In recent months I have struggled very much with being able to remain positive when my arthritis was not under control (it never is - just has days of being more in control that others if you know what I mean!! :roll: )

I can't give you all the answers (wish I could!!) but I know that it really does help to find things to occuply your mind so it can't dwell onthe bad stuff. It is easier said than done.

I too take anti-depressants, and I think we need to remember to look on these as aids to helth rather than 'putting right' something which is 'wrong' with us. This arthur is hell to deal with, and we can use whatever there is to help beat it into submission!!

have you thought of writing down each day what you achieve (rather than a list of what you didn't get done) ? it sounds mad at first, but at the end of even the worst day I can have half a dozen things written down that I have achieved. Who cares if the list includes getting dressed, taking tablets and eating breakfast (there are three guaranteed every day there! )

whatever works for you - you'll find it eventually.

hugs to you in the meantime ((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))

skezier

Hi Mellman,

I have to say Wonky ( a hug, slurp and x to you Wonky) has said a lot of what i was going to say. I felt like my life may as well end a few years ago, I had counselling and it helped. I now use escapism I guess as a way out from the fear of what may come. I write a lot and I meditate and drift a lot as well.

I agree with Joy that to treat it as an unwelcome friend would help but to me its the real enemy, the squatter inside and thats when I turn it into something visual. I decided its like going down a river in a canoe...... sometimes its gentle and sometimes its rapids, for me it works...... I really think we all have a way of coping deep with in us and for me rock bottom made that possible. A ((( ))) and don't let it get to you. In the end its something we all can deal with how ever way we do so. Cris x

mellman01

Thanks all (frogmorton wonkylegs and skezier) it’s so nice to know u lot are here for me when I get all daft and starting to doubt myself and go all silly self analyzing things, I’m ok at the mo Toni but I do have those dam pre flare up feelings again, my crime I spent time outside playing with me aerial ready to get the thing up and transmitting, oh and I walked the dog and this is what I get for it.
It’s really odd but as I said it’s like I have had my memory blanked, but as soon as I get the symptoms starting up again I break out in a cold sweat, I think this is partly due to work issues i.e. I panic about taking anymore sick than I dare this then causes me to go back to quick and it just makes me feel bloody miserable, plus I get all the sarcastic remarks, I’m not sure but I think they are planning someway of getting shot of me but I can’t put my finger on it but something is wrong, oh to hell with it, nothing left to do but to pop another Prozac and dream of swimming with dolphins.
PS sorry to unload on you kind people but it keeps me partly sane! :oops: