Rheumatoid Arthritis, 31 and emotional!

tinyzab

Hi all
I know I'm not the youngest person in the world to be diagnosed with RA, but its still something that you just don't think happens to you until you are much older. My symptoms started in April, just before my 31 b'day this year. I've been on Sulfasalazine (however its spelt!) full dose for nearly 3 months now. Waiting for it to start doing something!

Felt like I coped better when I was in huge amounts of pain and didn't know for certain what I had. THe last month or so my emotions have been up and down more than a rollercoaster. How have people found their way through the emotional affects of RA? Right now I just feel so down in the dumps and teary!

frogmorton

Hi!
A very big welcome to the forum from me even if you are Tiny!
It is soooo normald to feel desperately tearful in the early days.
Most of us have been through it
It's a bit like greiving really - for the future you had planned - and accepting a different, but not necessarily worse future.
You have to go through the stages like you do when you've lost someone - you know denial, crying, anger etc. At least that's waht I think!
Coming on here and chatting to everyone on here was part of accepting it for me.
It may well be that your meds need a tweak as well and that takes times for the rheumys to sort out.
I really hope you will feel a good bit brighter soon, but in the meantime I hope you will come on here and chat to us lt!
Take care
Toni xx

page35

Hiya tinyzab
sorry youve got RA, i have it too
am 33 had it a little over a year, diagnosed bout 5 months ago.
it is a huge shock isnt it,i still do get upset about it all, some days more than others.
but i think we are much luckier now than people who got it 20 years ago there are lots of new drugs and i think doctors understand it a little better.
this site is really great and everyone very friendly and loads of advice and surport
best wishes
page

woodbon

Hello, I'm glad you have found the forum, their are lots of people on here to give you tips and who will understand exactly how you feel.

It must have been a big shock for you to be told that you have RA, you are young and of course its not what you wanted to happen. You will feel sad, upset and tearful, thats all part of getting used to the disease. I don't have RA, I have OA in my spine, but I can understand how hard it must be to cope with the pain. It drags you down and makes you tired. The good thing, though is that now you have a diagnosis the reumatologist can give you the correct drugs that you need to help you properly. Their is a Helpline here number on the top right of this page. They are very good and will help you with anything and send you any information you may need.

Its a bit much to take in at the moment though, but you will with time. Take care, Love Sue

tinyzab

Thank you all for your responses - its funny how it helps having a link to others who understand and are going through/been through what you're going through.

I think, in relation to some I was diagnosed quite quickly - so that has to be a positive in amongst all the negative!! You're right Page - we are fortunate in that there are more options available now than there used to be.

You know what one of the worst things that comes into my head? That no one will want me with this condition. Stupid isn't it? Its not like I've changed at all - just have to use two hands to pick up the kettle, can't help lug things around any more and get a bit more tired than normal etc!! Finding recently that I can't mentally more than physically cope with everything that I do. Not sure where to make cuts though - or whether my low mood is mainly responsible for my feelings of not being able to cope any more. Although saying that - I'm still taking on things, getting stressed with work stuff etc. Probably not really helping I guess!!

debatat

Hi and welcome to the forum. I have Ra, lupus and a few other nasties. I was diagnosed this year, it is like being on a rollercoaster, with yourr emotions up and down.

It takes time to adjust, but you will and you will get back the things you enjoy and live a happy fulfilling life. Give yourself time, and rant away if that is what you need!!

It is frustrating that the meds take so long to work, and appts are not always quick but you get there in the end.

We understand how you feel, we have been there and what you are experiencing is entirely normal.

Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Deb

frogmorton

Hi Tiny
A lot of people feel that no-one will want them you know - or you'll have to settle for second best, but that's not the case! I met my hubby and then within 6 months had to have back surgery, was having chest pains, was a single parent, had a scary allergy (the type where you swell up!) and he STILL married me! Def NOT second best! he he!
All I can say is give it time and keep logging on here. It really helped me!
Take care
toni xx

katekelly

Hi Tiny
There is life after diagnosis as I think you may gather from many of the posts you will see on the forums. After I was diagnosed my ex husband left me with 2 kids and I was in a wheelchair. Then I met my present husband had another child and only use the wheelchair on really really bad days.
Everything looks different now to how it did back then. When ex went I thought what's going to become of me? (He even threatened to have the children taken off me because I was disabled!!!...that never happened!!). Now I can hand on heart say that getting RA was the best thing that ever happened to me: I mean look at me now to how I was then. I wouldn't go back to my "old" life for anything and I know that I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't got ill in the first place.
I suppose it all depends on whether you're a glass half full or half empty type of person. I try to think of the glass as half full.
I promise you that things will get better as you learn to adapt to your new lifestyle. Take each day as it comes and try to think of one thing to make you smile each day.
Kate

tinyzab

Your stories give me such positive feelings - thank you so much everyone - I've only been a member on here for an hour or so and that little glimmer of hope is getting there.

eckstardeluxe

Hi there

Welcome to the Forum. I have OA not RA but it was a massive shock to me at age 32, so frightening, especially having two very young children. I had mines over 20 years without realising my problems were not my illness from childhood just causing affects but something else.

I felt like my world had collapsed. Then I found this site. To hear others who are experiencing the same thing and who were able to help me and give me advice made such a difference to my outlook. I'm sure you will find it as invaluable as I have.

Take care

Eck

page35

I like your butterfly
i have to pick up kettle with both hands too, or try to get someone else to make the tea
your be ok and will cope and now you know your not alone
page

suncatcher

Welcome to the site i was daignosed at 35 seroneg first the eventually Ra a scary horrible time remember it well. Take one day at a time. I am sorry you have artheritis but pleased to have you on this site. best wishes from joanne

joyous

hi there i got diagnosed just after my 30 th birthday as well im now 44 , its not the nicest of things to have i no i dread winter as thats when i most likly to have flare ups had one last wk thought here i go again it took a long time to find the right meds for me 07 finally after my shoulder op was put on anti f's with the mthx and has been great up to now im on other stuff as well steriods and anti imflams as well as other meds such a bind taking twice a day but you get thru it i only joined on here this year and its a great forum cos ppl understand what your going thru , unless you ppl have got it they dont understand , they try to , but they think your lazy and should pull yourself together not that simple when your in agony and cant sleep the constant tiredness is such a bore , good luck in your ra all the best joy xx sorry for the long reply

lindalegs

Hi Tiny and welcome from me.

I, too, am rheumatoid - came on overnight at the age of 27 and I'm 51 now. My husband and I have been married for 31 years and we have two sons.

You have to remember you're a person not a disease and although it's very promient in your life at the moment it won't always be like this - I promise. Tears are normal - I've cried enough to float a boat over the years but that's often down to frustration rather than pain.

You may not be on the correct medication or the sulpha hasn't kicked yet but once it has the RA should settle down and you'll find you have good spells and occasionally bad.

I don't regret having RA - well, actually, I'm lying sometimes I do :roll: I do have a wonderful, happy life it's just a bit challenging sometimes - I think RA has made a better person of me.

Anything we can help with just ask and someone here will be able to answer.

Luv Legs

PS I'm never sorry for a long reply - I always talk too much

mrsdalloway

Hi Tiny your post touched me as I was 24 when I was diagnosed 6 months after the birth of my first daughter. She is 14 today and a big bundle of mischief now! I think I have been through every emotion you can have, everything from anger, sadness and denial and just hoping if I ignore it long enough it will go away! I have been with my hubby 21 years now and have to say we joke about how I got my moneys worth out of the sickness and health vow. Like the others have said it is a rollercoaster that unfortunately you are not allowed to get off! Looking back over my time with 'arthur' and with the benefit of hindsight I would say that it has changed my life for the better as without it I would be stuck behind a desk bored out of my brain. As it is I am in the process of setting up my own business on line. Life does end as you know it but in my view it just takes a more interesting turn. You are in the best place here I just wish I had this forum when I was first diagnosed. x

barbara01

Hi I was 32 when I was first diagnosed (21 years ago) and yes it did seem like the end of the world...But its not, treatment ideas have changed since I was first diagnosed I only had Ibuprofen, but I followed the Margaret Hills Plan and whether it was that or not I dont know,( different things work for different people) but Iwent into remission for some 14 years or so, with just an odd twinge, and I know as things have progressed RA sufferers are no longer doomed to a life of disability and pain.. I know its hard but I try and look at the positives in life...I always try to think that there are so many people out there worse off than me .....

Good luck, I have just started MXT so I know how scary the treatment route is, but everyone is here to help and support

I wish you well


Love Barbara x

madgirlzzz

Hi Tiny
I'm 32, and was diagnosed at 25 with RA, one of the worse days of my life. I to thought it was over! Well still going strong and getting on with my life. Ok I'm single but at the moment that suit's me, as I am doing a degree hoping to end up as a teacher! I think having RA has made me stronger and more determined. I would never have thought I'd be doing a degree! But I have had a couple of partners since being diagnosed and with my RA they have been so supportive.
I think some one else said it but you go through the emotions like when someone dies, you have to get us to living life slightly differently, but you do come through this and learn your boundries that can change but you get to understand, one day you might feel tired and in pain, were another day you will feel you can conker the world! With the medication and support out there now a days theres more oppurtunities although does take time to get it right.

Use here as a great source, one of the best things about it is just you relise you are not allown.
wishing you all the best, take care
gayle x

jackie1955

Hi Tiny, Just wanted to welcome you and I do sympathise with what you are going through. Its all very scary isn't it? And so many people really don't understand RA - they'll just nod and say they 'have a bit of arthritis too'........

Well honey, your in the right place here for excellent advice from these lovely folk.

I think it takes time to accept the diagnosis, but just try to carry on as best you can at just being you - your still the same person right :?:

Jackie x

tinyzab

You guys are all great. I think you're right in that people don't really understand RA. I know I won't bounce back over night but it really has helped hearing from you all and knowing that there are people out there who really understand what its all about...its refreshing.

I'm going to visit a friend in Dubai in 2 weeks - be the first longish haul journey I've been on since being diagnosed.....hopefully I should be ok!! If anything I'm looking forward to some time away from work, MSc and chartership stuff! Recently I have started to realise that keeping up with all the work I used to be able to do isn't quite as easy any more. Not sure what i can do about it yet....but sure I'll figure something out!!

ps gayle - thats fantastic - hope you enjoy every minute of your degree!!

tinyzab

pps I just found out today that i passed my module 4 in my MSc (doing distance learning) which I was so happy about that i cried in joy for a change...rather than because of RA!! It was during this module that my RA started and was just awful, then diagnosed, then had the getting onto the meds time of sickness, agitation etc!! But I managed it!!! So to everyone - we can do it!! RA or whatever form of evil arthur you have - it doesn't stop us!! yay!!!!!! (hope you all felt you could share in my moment of joy!! they seem to be few and far between!!)

lindalegs

Well done to you.

That's one up for you one down to RA

Enjoy Dubai too.

Luv Legs

elnafinn

Hey tiny

Brill news. Thanks for sharing that with us. Go enjoy that holiday as well. You certainly deserve it! You have done really well especially with those added stumbling blocks along the way, but you DID IT! Way Hay!

Hope your weekend goes well

Luv
Elna x

gickygawky

Congratulations Tiny!

That is an awesome achievement!!
You should be so proud of yourself - what a clever kitten you are!

Enjoy your holiday, I hope the warm weather helps you too!

A x

karinak

tinyzab wrote:

Hi all
I know I'm not the youngest person in the world to be diagnosed with RA, but its still something that you just don't think happens to you until you are much older. My symptoms started in April, just before my 31 b'day this year. I've been on Sulfasalazine (however its spelt!) full dose for nearly 3 months now. Waiting for it to start doing something!

Felt like I coped better when I was in huge amounts of pain and didn't know for certain what I had. THe last month or so my emotions have been up and down more than a rollercoaster. How have people found their way through the emotional affects of RA? Right now I just feel so down in the dumps and teary!

Hello Tiny, I am new too and felt the same and have started drugs and now stopped because of a book i found by Margaret Wilson arthritis drug free, dont give up hope as i am 100% sure it is all about diet and being positive,
Please keep me posted and take care Karina x

page35

tinyzab wrote:

pps I just found out today that i passed my module 4 in my MSc (doing distance learning) which I was so happy about that i cried in joy for a change...rather than because of RA!! It was during this module that my RA started and was just awful, then diagnosed, then had the getting onto the meds time of sickness, agitation etc!! But I managed it!!! So to everyone - we can do it!! RA or whatever form of evil arthur you have - it doesn't stop us!! yay!!!!!! (hope you all felt you could share in my moment of joy!! they seem to be few and far between!!)

Great news Tiny
well done am so happy for you
take care
page x

mistywillow

Hi Tiny
Just to say Congrats on your module results and I hope you have a good and relaxing time on holiday. Also My OH proposed to me while I was in intensive care from a spinal op which had me in hospital for nearly 9 months. We have been married for 31 years!! It is just part of our lives. Would love to dump the RA but it is our companion and we just get on with it. I have 2 children and we manage to have a good family life despite it. So 2 fingers up to old arthur!!!
Gillx