still in denial

holmesi

hi peeps its me again,i know i have recently been diagnosed with oa [wear &tear] but i am still finding it difficult to accept it going from being very physically active to mostly moving round the house[starting to hate it] think the highlight of the week is going shopping ,seem to be dwelling on arthur all the time,do you actually come to terms with living with this or am i just wallowing in self pity.i think that i am still in denial about it and i just cant get me head around it,holmesi

patriciamary

holmesi wrote:

hi peeps its me again,i know i have recently been diagnosed with oa [wear &tear] but i am still finding it difficult to accept it going from being very physically active to mostly moving round the house[starting to hate it] think the highlight of the week is going shopping ,seem to be dwelling on arthur all the time,do you actually come to terms with living with this or am i just wallowing in self pity.i think that i am still in denial about it and i just cant get me head around it,holmesi

Hi Holmesi
I know how you feel, for several years I managed to convince myself that it would go away. Always coped with doing everything differently but still got there in the end. Not getting out and about so much is the major bugbear, you start to feel a but useless but you soon realise that at times you cant do everything and other days you can. Take it easy when you're in pain and get on with it when you can. Pace yourself and on the days you feel bad daytime TV or a good book woek wonders, and yes you do get used to it.

maud48

It's really difficult isn't it?
I feel exactly the same,
Maud

barbara01

Hi

I have ra and still can't really come to terms with it after 21years.....still keep thinking I can beat it. Not really sure what the answer is.... I wish you well

Barbara xx

elnafinn

Hi Ivor

I wish I could help you. You have all your work worries too and that phone call today would not have helped you one iota, only to drag you down. I too would find it horrenduous if, like you, I had been really active and then like switching a light off, I suddenly could hardly do anything. My oa has, so far not hit me like that, thank goodness, I must have a guardian angel or something. I am also not having work issues, like you which will be adding great stress and distress to your life. You will come to terms with it but at the moment you are grieving for what you once had. Are you not offered any surgery as that would make your life easier, in the long run? Is your doc or whoever you are seeing being of help and support to you right now?

I don't like to hear you are feeling like you do. Hopefully tomorrow you will feel more upbeat. I do so hope so.

Luv
Elna x

annebr

I know exactly how you feel and I don't have any answers. Depression often comes along with arthritis, it may be worth talking to the doc.

Sorry I can't be more helpful but I know how you feel.

anne

holmesi

hiya everyone ,thanks for all the comments and good wishes,it must be one of those down days today when the depression just gets a little better of me,trouble is the longer this goes on the more i seem to get them,too much time on my hands and not enough hobbies i think,just goin to try deep relaxation technique see if that helps,holmesi

skezier

Hi Holmesi,

I don't think it is wallowing in self pity at all. I can't help you about how to stop the denial but for me the denial is a form of coping if that makes sense? I do think it might be an idea to talk to your doctor about how low your feeling and for me when I hit rock bottom I found counselling through initially the doctors practice and then privately helped me at lease accept it. the denial bit is now incorporated into my coping strategy.......

I can't really help you except to promise you it gets easier in time. You had a huge shock, and sometimes it takes time to get your head around it. I am sending you cyber hugs and a real hope that tomorrow will feel better for you. Cris x

frogmorton

Hi Holmsi
Well I think if you are depressed it's quite apropriate and I think a lot of us are at times.
Arthur is so sneaky that there are times when you CAN beleive this isn't happening can't you?
Someone said you'd had a huge shock - how true that is...you have to adjust your life and that takes time.
Relaxation sounds like a good idea - definitely worth a try and things like going for a gentle swim or walk (if you can) really help I think.
For now I just want to say I soooo know what you mean and hope you feel a little brighter tomorrow
Take care
Toni x

mrsdalloway

Hi Holmsei your post rang a bell with me as I have been the queen of denial (diagnosed 14 years ago at 24 after birth of first child) trust me if ignoring it and hoping it would go away would help I would be cured by now! lol What you are going through is completely normal and as someone else mentioned part of the 'process' of coming to terms with it. I have been through every emotion and even now when I feel I am quite accepting of it something will knock me off my stride. For example the other day we were discussing someone on tv who had arthur and one of my kids said but she doesn't look like it. And I said but neither do I probably, and she said but you do, because you hobble. Now believe it or not this was a bit of a shock because I have done it for so long I thought I walked normally! So no more catwalks for me then!! But back to you there is no short cut you have to experience all the emotions and you will get to a stage where you accept that your life has changed and you mourn for your old one and just have to see where this new path takes you, hobbing along it apparently! x

sharmaine

Hi
You do learn to cope with it. Getting your medication right is a good idea. If you're in pain then you must see your GP - especially if you're not sleeping. I ended up with severe fatigue following a lenghty flare up - at that time I was only on diclofenac now I'm on co-dydramol (8 a day) and 2 amytriptilines at night. If I have a good nights sleep then I find I can cope with the day ahead of me.

When you're tired - rest ...otherwise you'll just feel awful for days!
Try not to overdo things.

Be strong and take care.

Sharmaine

valval

hi just trying to get my head around it and meds that will let me live a life not just exist as it seems to me some days want to walk places and either feet swell up or get so exhausted have to stop and rest frustrated is the way i feel angry some times as well and quite a few tears but will not let arther get his way will win **** him

holmesi

hiya peeps ,thanks for all the heartfelt sympathy you have given me ,i know i've got to come to terms with arthur,its just so hard at the moment,wanna go back to work if only to prove i can/can't do it,then i will have to take ill health retirement but the way things are going at the mo ,idont think i will get the chance.sleeping at night is not a problem at the moment thankfully,pain in the morning thats a different story can be half the morning gone before i'm in bearable pain and no two days are the same and to top everthing off i've just been to the dentist and the big pliers have been in use and doesn't it cost ,pity i couldn't use the string technique , sorry if you are a bit sqeamish,holmesi

airwave

Hi,
I'm now at the stage where I can't cope with arther but like you can't quite admit it to myself and certainly not to all others. I have changed my life and all the things I do, this is now an on-going theme. My motorbike has become a automatic car with lightweight power steering, my pushbike sits in the garage and awaits an electric replacement, my five mile walk has become 5 mins walk and my powerful body has .....slumped!

I sometimes wonder if being on this forum makes me feel sorry for myself and often don't look for a week or more. Strange things, minds, aren't they?
8) Its a grin, honest!

woodbon

Hi, It is hard to cope with. I find that its always their in my mind, whatever I do, like an invisable badge. Sometimes I can put it right to the back of my mind and others its right there in the front. Its the good days when its at the back of my mind and the bad when I can't stop thinking about it. Coming to terms with things that have changed is never easy. So don't worry about feeling sorry for yourself, its a very natural thing to do. Love Sue

elnafinn

airwave wrote:

I sometimes wonder if being on this forum makes me feel sorry for myself and often don't look for a week or more. Strange things, minds, aren't they?
8) Its a grin, honest!

I sometimes think you may be right, depending on the severity of the arthritis and the frame of mind at the time. I thought I had not seen your name around, lately. At least you know that should you wish to call in, the forum is there for you.

Luv
Elna x

airwave

Woodbon, You are so right, arther is like an invisible cloak that we wear, it shows us off to the world in a very physical way and reflects our emotions back on ourselves.

Elna, You know my secret now. I'm quite prepared to hold the flag and lead the charge but arther is never far away, waiting to trip us up.

8) Its a grin, honest!