I am at my lowest point ever

handsy

today i had to go to hospital to have some supports fitted for my knee as they give way alot due to the RA. I am so depessed really low feeling is this all i have to look forward to more of my body not working properly. I am so sad and have these really bad thoughts about just not being here any more. i am finding it so hard to pull myself out of this. i cant do any of the things i did 6 months ago and i dont feel like a whole person anymore.

ritwren

I am so sorry to hear you feel so bad. I'ts good that you came here to say how you're feeling as there may be folk who can offer like myself any cyber support I can. Big gentle hugs going your way.
It might be worth seeing your GP and have a serious chat about things. Maybe a referral to a counsellor to talk things through with might help too? I'm sorry I don't know much about your circumstances being fairly new here but it's good you've come on and said what you're feeling.Hopefully someone else will come along soon and be of more help. In the meantime do try to be kind to yourself and if you can give yourself a little treat. This disease is a wretched thing and at times it's hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel but it is there all the same although shining very dimly at times. Is your pain fairly well controlled? Do you have family or friends that you can trust and confide in? I wish I could do something for you but all I can say is hold on in there.
big gentle hugs
rita

debbieclap

Hi
I too am sorry you are feeling so down I was feeling like this last year it does get better I got that all I could do was sit around watching TV or surfing the net I felt totally useless.
Just being on here and sharing is such a good thing it helps others as well as you so hold in there it might be an idea to see your gp they can help too.
(((( hugs))))
Debbie

dutchess

I'm so sorry your at a such a low point with your ra at the moment. Its a real positive that you feel able to come on to this forum and its such a good support. I think arthur gives us such a rollercoaster ride with flares. I was only discussing with a collegue recently (we both have ra) how when we're doing well we totally forget the ra (managing general aches/pains of condition) but during a flare it really does drag you down and you can see no end or light at the end of the tunnel. Its perfectly normal and natural to be feeling the way you feel. You just need to draw the right support to help you get through this and you will. Like Rita says talk to your GP about managing your condition, do you have a pracititioner advice line at your local hosp aswell (in norfolk we have a nurse practitioner advice line during office hours where we can call with concerns etc). Also there's the arthritis care helpline, I've called in the past and felt it helped just to talk things through with someone who understands but also a stranger so I could be brutally honest at how I'm feeling. What about family and friends? At this time you need to draw on all your support networks. Hope you begin to feel better soon and can get the support you deserve to get you through this difficult time. Big hugs.
Take care
Luv Kelly

woodbon

Hello,
I'm so sorry that you feel so low at the moment. Haveing leg braces fitted is something thats brought home to you everything bad about the illness. I have OA in my spine & neck, as well as other joints. I think its all part of the illness, this horrible depression, as most of us seem to go through it.

Thats no help to you though, what you really need is PROFESSIONAL HELP. Can you talk to your GP? If so, why not make an appointment or you could try the Helpline number here, up in the right hand corner, they are very good and will point you in the right direction. Its not weak or anything, its what you need and if it helps, think how great that would be! There are also the Samaritans, who are trained to help. The people at the hospital, who are fitting your brace should understand how you feel.

You are always welcome to tell us too, most of us have been in that horrible black hole at some time. You will get out of it, you've already taken a big step in telling us, I hope its helped to get things off your chest. Writting often does help to see things in more prespective.

I hope in time you will see all your aids as the things that help to keep you independant. If anyone tried to take my hand braces away from me now, they'd have a fight on there hands!

Take care, I hope you find your braces usful and I hope you soon come out the other side of this black hole.
Love Sue

joanlawson

Hi handsy

You have received some good advice already, so I don't think I can add more. I just wanted to offer you my support. Coming to terms with a decline in what you can do is very hard to cope with sometimes. I feel the same, as there are so many things I can no longer do, and as my husband is very fit and well, I often feel I am holding him back. He is very good, and doesn't complain, but I often feel guilty.

However, I have tried to talk myself out of this feeling, and instead of regretting the things I can't do, I have tried to concentrate on the things I can still do. It isn't easy, I know, but I have found that acceptance of my condition, instead of constantly regretting it, has helped me to deal with it. I reasoned that I can't change my arthritis, and it isn't my fault, so I just have to try to find contentment in my life despite it. I have developed my interests which don't require physical strength eg. I go to computer classes and painting classes. This has provided me with new interests and also I have made new friends. My husband likes walking and cycling, so he goes with my son now, so we both get to do things we enjoy.

I do hope you can find a way out of your depression. Perhaps if you take some positive steps to seek help, you will begin to feel better.

Joan

debatat

Hi, I am so sorry that you feel this way. I can understand it, it does get to you sometimes. It is good that you were able to post on here about it though. You have been given excellent advice already, so I will just say keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Take care

Deb

skezier

Hi Handsy,

I am sorry you are feeling so low today. I echo what the others have said and for me counselling worked really well. Its sadly part of any long term health problems and sometimes we need help to get through it. I am sending you a ((( ))) and I really hope you have a better day tomorrow. Take care and it does get easier I promise you. Cris

tkachev

Hi Handsy,

I would like to think that it will get better.There are so many medications out there and they should be trying you out on these.It might take a time to sort and get a good combination but I am positive you will improve eventually.You have to keep this in mind as a goal.
I have been in dreadful pain in the past but now I am walking and coping well.I am not a special case and I am not lucky either.
Will you be seeing your Rheumatologist soon.They must review you soon.
Take care
Tkachev

elnafinn

Dear John

I am so sorry to read that you have reached such a low ebb but what you have been through in the past 4 months or so must be absolutely devastating, marital breakdown, losing your job, constant pain, lack of sleep, worry, terrible side effects from the drugs, grief from all you have lost and so on. It is far too much all at once.

I truly feel now is the time for you to seek help, it will do you no end of good to pour out your story to a councellor. If anyone has a case to see a councellor quickly, it is you. We are here for you but you need much more than us, at this time. We will be back you up, should you so wish but you must get the help now, that you desperately need. Talk to your gp in the first instance. The helpline here will listen to you too. That is what they are there for, but you need ongoing help now.

Chin up John, please do what we are suggesting,

Love
Elna x()

lindalegs

Hi John,

So sorry that you're in a dark place at the moment - I know you probably don't feel as though you'll come through it but I'd like to reassure you that you will. A very dear friend of mine's favourite saying is 'It won't always be dark at six my love' and she is right.

You've had such excellent advice from everyone else that I have nothing to add except my best wishes that you will start to feel brighter very soon.

Luv Legs X

kathbee

Hi Handsy

Sorry to hear how you are just now.

Hope you can surface soon and feel a bit better.
It's not a nice place to be at all.

Lots of advice and support for you on here from your mates.
Hope you can speak to your GP and get some help
very soon.

Love Kath

juliefybrobull

HELLO IAM SO SORRY TO HEAR YOU FEEL SO BAD AT THE MOMENT I THINK EACH AND EVERYONE OF US HAS FELT THE SAME WE NEED SOMETHING TO FOCUS ON ,I HAVE JUST JOINED THIS SITE AND FEEL A LITTLE BETTER BECAUSE YOU ALL SOUND LIKE REALY NICE PEOPLE ,FAMILYS CAN BE GOOD BUT THEY CAN SUFFOCATE US TOO I TRY TO THINK OF SOMEONE WORSE THAN ME AND I SEEM TO MENTELY COPE BETTER DO YOU HAVE A HOBBY YOU COULD TRY TO CONSANTRATE ON I HAVE SENT YOU GENTLE HUGS AND A KISS TAKE CARE LOOK AFTER YOURSELF X

frogmorton

Hi John
I am so so sorry to read your thread
I hate to think of you feeling so bad.
Your feelings are so so understandable as you look back at how things have changed for you over the last 6 months. Hopefully though the supports will help you and maintain your indepandance.
I too have had counselling in the past and would say don't knock it if you haven't tried it. It can help a lot - I used it when I felt eryone I knew must be fed up with me.
Oh yes and as Elna and others have already said - the helpline is brilliant. I rang and cried and cried and eventually managed to speak It did help.
Remember we are here for you too and we care about you (as you hopefully care about us).
Please do let us know how you go on
Toni (())x