Does anyone else suffer depression with arthritis?

carol101

I have arthritis of the spine. I am taking diazepam and co-codamol which does help ease the pain but doesn't actually take it away. On top of the pain i find i am feeling pretty low. I just don't seem to have the energy to do anything and i don't really care about anything. Don't get me wrong, i still care about people but like i don't care if the washing isn't done, i don't care if i have dinner or not, i don't care if i loose my job. Sounds depressing i know, but it's exactly how i feel. Everything just seem too much hassle to worry about and i don't have the energy to do things. I am still working full time (although have lost a lot of days off sick with pain) but i do far less in my 8hour day than what i used to. Life just seems to be really hard work. If it wasn't for the fact that it makes my back pain worse, i would quite happily just spend the rest of my days in bed. I also find i'm crying a lot and i'm not sure why. Maybe i feel guilty because i know i should be doing more, maybe i'm just fed up of being in pain all the time, maybe it's just my medication? I just don't know. Sorry to depress you all but just wondered if anyone else feels or has felt the same?

joyful164

Hi Carol
Oh gosh, you have got it bad. When you are in pain it is so easy to slip down into the doldroms. I've had a bad few days recently, plus a virus thrown in, but luckily, I am out of it nearly.
I think you have said it when you can't stay in bed because it makes your back pain worse. My back and hips are always hurting in the morning, so I have to get up. First of all, what is your doctor doing for you? Diazapam are ok in the short term, but you need to get round your pain and need referring, rheumatologist, pain clinic. I was prescribed some anti-depressants and found they made me feel worse, both mentally and physically. Tried lots of things mind you and it becomes a minefield, but I seem to have found the happy balance at the moment. You need some help and you should find that on here, but also you have to help yourself. I'm lucky I suppose I've retired now, but still trying to make a living with my art and I find that once I get going with it and with my music in the background, I can work through it.
In your work place, you should have an assessment of your work station and if you log on to Access to Work, you should get all the details. Make your workplace easy for you. Do you have a Personnel Officer who you can talk to. Perhaps they could reduce your hours for awhile.. Are you able to talk to her/him. Book a double appointment with your GP to talk about your issues. Perhaps you could get some better advise from the Helpline here.
good luck
joy

carol101

Hi Joy, thank you for your reply. My Dr has told me to have the pain killers with me at all times and take them whenever i get some pain (which is every day) to help me stop getting to the stage where i can hardly walk, which actually happened last week. Other than that, he says there is nothing he can do for me. Actually, i tell a lie there, i am overweight and have been all my life, and he is helping me loose weight. He has told me loosing the weight won't actually stop the pain as such but will slow down the process of the arthritis getting worse. It may sound that he isn't very helpful but i have suffered back pain on and of for 17 years and after being with this Dr for about 18 months he is the only one who actually looked into why i was getting the pain. I was only diagnosed in August of this year. In one way it's nice to know what is causing the pain but knowing there is no cure wasn't so nice to know.

annie_mial

Hi, Carol. I'm on strong painkillers and steroids and have been battling for a long time. I was diagnosed as severely depressed earlier this year, it does happen to so many of us.
It took the death of my mother to force on me the realization that I was depressed, I couldn't grieve for her and I don't think I will ever forgive myself. It took me even longer to tell the doctor about it - but the difference in how I feel has been so great since I have been on meds that of course I wish I had done it earlier.
It isn't always medication that's suggested; but I do think you should tell your doctor exactly how you are feeling.
Luv and hugs
Annie

holmesi

hi carol ,im like you ,ive recently been diagnosed with oa of the spine and yes it does get you down a hell of a lot and the painkillers just seem to take the edge off it,as for the depressants they make you feel worse to start with but hopefully after 2-4 weeks you start feeling better,i know exactly where your coming from!!!! holmesi

carol101

I am a bit weary of telling my DR how i feel. As a kid i remember my mum being on anti depressents and they made her quite ill. She didn't know what she was doing half the time. This was quite a few years ago and things have probably moved on since then but these memories live with you. As well as the arthritis i have another couple of things going on in my life......my Dad is currently undergoing cancer treatment and my sister-in-law is actually making her funeral arrangements as she is actually loosing her battle with cancer. I feel like my husband is the only strong and positive thing in my life right now but having found this web site last night helps me realise that i'm not alone.

Hugs and kisses to all XX

carol101

I just might add, do you know what really upset me the other day? Well i'm only 34, my Dad is 62 and as i mentioned he has cancer. When i was really struggling with the pain last week my Dad actually turned to me and said ' Why isn't it me who's got arthritis? I'm old anyway but you still have your life ahead of you'.

My dear old Dad..........i love him sooooooo much X

scattered

I had depression long before I got RA. Now they both treat me to fun episodes, sometimes they're related, sometimes not. I also have a severe anxiety disorder too.

Do see your doctor. A mixture of meds and therapy might make the world of difference. Therapy alone often helps people get through depression. Unfortunately I'm not one of them, but therapy has helped me at certain points in my life, with medication. Have you been referred to a pain managment clinic? Therapists who work out of those specialise in dealing with pain and depression, and the link between them.

ritwren

I understand your reluctance to see and discuss with your GP what's happening and how you feel but it may be the best way forward for you. Perhaps a counsellor rather than medication or as well as medication might be the way to go and your GP could arrange this. You have so many things going on in your life I can only think that good and all as the forums are they may not be enough.
Do let us know how you get on.
very best of luck rita

suzster

i know how you feel, i seem to be so tearful at the moent, everything gets to me, i've got such a short fuse to, it horrible.
i'm struggling with my daughter, she's only 2 but she's discovering her independence! she's not naughty (well!!) but last week she started a new trick, when i go to pick her up she lifts her legs up and i have wrenched my shoulder, oh it is so painful, but since then i've been in pain and really feeling sorry for myself, i keep thinking should;d i see my gp or not?!
my mum told me a few months ago how guilty she and my dad feel because i've got arthritis, i tolf her no one gave it to me, it's no ones fault, but it really hit me.
sorry, now i'm getting all sad!
i hope you feel better soon, this place is great for getting things of your chest, we all know how hard life with arthritis can be.
hugs to you.
sue

carol101

WOW my last post just really hit me! I've been inconsolable for the last hour. My Dad is at the hospital every day, monday to friday, having cancer treatment. He has had 3 weeks so far and has another 9 weeks ahead of him. He is signed off work but other than that is leading a normal life. Other than spending an hour a day at the hospital it's just like he's on holiday leave from work. If you were to meet him, you wouldn't know he was ill. I only have back pain and my world has caved in............how stupid do i feel now!

woodbon

Hello, I've had depression for a long time and take anti-deprssants. Mine is caused by a mixture of things not only the arthritis, although that has not helped recently!

You sound so down I know how easy it can be to get into that way of living, but i would suggest that you should talk to your GP. Medication isn't the same these days and also their are councillors that your doctor my well prefer you to see. Sometimes the docs like you to take some medication at the begining of a talking treatment so that you will be able to cope with it.

So many people do get depression and its nothing to be ashammed of, do go to your GP for help, I'm sure you won't regret it.

Take care, lots of love Sue

tkachev

Hello again Carol,
It is a real struggle, dealing with the pain and trying to cope with evryday life..Then you have other family members very ill too.You have a lot to be upset about.
Counselling has helped a lot of people on this forum.I hope you feel able to approach your GP.I know it is off putting if they dont seem interested but you are important and you need care.
I spent many months permanently crying,frustrated by my situation,endless struggling with housework and children when I could barely walk.I didnt have anyone to talk to(just myself).I didnt know about this forum and that others felt the same.
Please keep in touch and let us know how things are.
Tkachev

mellman01

Hi Carol
I have OA and have since a double knee op 2 years ago and yes it has effected me physiologically. I started to notice crazy mood swings and crying a lot and my motivation went west, I put up with it for over a year but I eventually I admitted defeat and went to see my GP,.
I am now on Prozac and things are a lot better. He my GP explained that if you take opiod based pain killers for a long time they can suppress serotonin production and also inhibit the receptors in the brain. I started using it and did nothing for about 2 weeks then it kicked in and boy did I notice the difference.
It was like the calm after a terrible dark storm, (clouds part displaying a beautiful sunset music fading in the background etc.) what it also showed me how OA had effected my thought processes, to be straight I was closer to a breakdown than I ever imagined but being in the centre of things I couldn’t see it, Prozac allowed me see things from a distance.
My own view is you just can’t expect anyone with chronic pain to just put up with things, it gets you from more than one angle and it’s like an acid that eats away at your being layer by layer, it’s insidious and almost imperceptible but it’s also relentless.
I’m sorry if this is a bit of a long reply and I don’t expect this is normal for everyone with RA or OA but it’s how it’s effected me.

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carol101 wrote:

I am a bit weary of telling my DR how i feel. As a kid i remember my mum being on anti depressents and they made her quite ill. She didn't know what she was doing half the time. This was quite a few years ago and things have probably moved on since then but these memories live with you.

hi sorry to hear your feeling down
just wanted to say i had depression before RA in my 20s i took anti ds for about 4 years on and off. at first they did make me feel worse as someone else said but then gradually i started to feel better i also had counseling. whist on anti ds i got a job, went to college for 2yrs and looked after my son who was 4 when it started. so the meds have changed since your mum was unwell.
i wish you all the best and wish your dad well too
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debatat

Carol, sorry you are feeling so down. Constant pain does wear you down though. I have lupus, ra and OA of the spine. My spinal pain is the worst thing ever. It is very hard to deal with pain all the time.

Talk to your gp, maybe he can refer you to a pain clinic, or counselling. I hope you can get some help.

Deb x

chris101

Hi Carol101 from Chris101!!

I have RA and I often feel depressed. I am not sure if it is as part of the condition or as a result of it. Maybe both. For me it is the constant pain, day after day. Knowing I will wake up in the same pain the next day and that there is no cure. I was diagnosed shortly after the birth of my son and just when I thought things were finally going right for me. I am so angry still. One day I was fine and then suddenly I'm told I have this disease. I feel that even close friends and family don't understand how I feel no matter how much I try to tell them and it has affected my relationship with my partner. I hate how having RA has changed me, both by affecting what I can do physically and by changing how I think and feel. For me the only thing that keeps me going is my little boy. I know I should be taking good care of myself, but I feel like my body is damaged now anyway so what's the point. Writing this I think I need to go and get some pain management therapy! You have also got other major stressors going on though so it's no wonder you feel down. The thing is, we can't just give up. We have to try and focus on the positives in our lives...and hope they find a cure for arthritis real soon! xx

Wonkylegs

HI Carol

I hope by now you have realised that you are definitely not on your own with this!!!

so many of us battle the arthritis and what it brings with us too. Don't go comparing yourself with others ... we all cope differently, and that doesn't make one way of coping better than the other.

I have been taking anti-depressants for over 8 years now, and they really do make a difference for me. I have had counselling and that has been a big help in taking away some of the problems for me, although others remain.

Have you rung the helpline people yet? The number is on the top of this page, and is free. They are really helpful and you will not be the first (or the last) to tell them about how depressed you are feeling.

good luck and keep posting!

carol101

Hello all and thank you so much for your replies. It is nice to know i'm not on my own in this but also sad to know that so many of us are going through it. I am lucky that i have a very loving husband. I don't know if he does actually understand what i'm going through, he certainly see's the pain i'm in at times, but i'm not sure he understands the depression. Let's face it, it's even hard for us to understand at times. I try to explain to him what is going on in my head, as many of you have said, knowing tomorrows pain is going to be the same as todays pain, there is no getting away from it. Also i don't think the medication helps but without it we would be in even more pain. It's a no win situation.....another reason to be depressed! I have quite often said to him that i wish he could have it, just for 1 day so he knows what i'm going through. Whether he fully understands or not, i know he does understand that i'm ill and that he has done nothing wrong, it's not his fault i've got this illness and it's not his fault that i cry. He just sits with me and gives me a cuddle till the needing to cry passes. He is no Dr and can not cure me but he is my absolute rock...........and bless him, it's his sister who is dying of cancer X

joyful164

Hello Carol
You have so much going on in your life. Gosh, your dad is younger than me.
Since I started coming on here, I don't get depressed any more because there are so many 'friends' who are far worse than me. I do get down because I can't do the things I want to do.
Does your gp practice have a councilling service? Mine does and my gp suggested I speak to her. I had a few sessions and it was amazing how easy it was to then work things out in your mind and put everything into perspective. The only way you will be able to cope with your relative's illnesses is if you are managing your own pain. Many of us have bought TEN's machines, which seem to help quite a bit. If you are not sure, can you get referred to a Pain Clinic?
I too carry too much weight around with me and I know it doesn't help my joints, It's putting too much strain on them, but I find it difficult to lose it. The meds don't help at all.
I do hope you manage to get a few thing clear in your mind and can find the help you need.

joy

carol101

Hello Joy, hope you are having a good day! I have tried a TENS machine before i was actually diagnosed but it didn't seam to help. Since being on here i seem to have heard quite a few things that me Dr hasn't mentioned. I had never heard of a pain clinic and it seems a lot of people have had blood tests to find out what type of arthritis they have. I haven't had this done, i don't even know if i need it done? All i was told is that the very bottom bone in my spine is wearing away and that it has grown a 'spur' (i'm sure you know what i mean) the spur is growing into the space where my nerves are which is why sometimes i get an excruciating pinching pain at times as my nerves are getting 'crushed'. Luckily that pain normally only lasts a few minutes then i just have the 'normal' pain again. Also DR said the bone is actually growing backwards and back into my spine. He said they could operate and cut the spur off but it grow back again so he doesn't recommend it. Also i could have steriod injections but these are extreamly painful and since i have a real sensative spot where i can take no pressure he is not sure if i would be able to withstand taking the injection and apparently all the steriod would do is paralise the base of my spine but the problem would start working further up the spine so again he doesn't recommend it.
As for the weight, he has given me Redactil which i take 1 a day. They surpress your appetite and although i still have to really think about what i'm eating i have managed to loose 1 and half stone.
Hugs, Carol X

tkachev

Hi Carol,

A spur would be a piece of extra bone growing somewhere it wouldnt normally grow and hence it is touching the nerves,and causing you terrible pain.
We all have blood tests connected to our medication.It is a safety net to see how it affects our pain and other symptoms(good and bad).Or if it causing other probs.
Check out your weight loss medication to see what affects it can have on you(such as depression).We all struggle seem to struggle with weight loss on here although some members have the opposite problem and lose too much, or cannot eat.
Take care Tk