The moment of truth

joanlawson

Hi

I was told last February that I would need a TKR, but opted to have time to think about it. I didn't put my name on the waiting list for that reason, and I've been trying to make up my mind ever since.

Now, I've been sent an appointment to see the surgeon for a review of the situation, as promised. It will be another chance to put my name on the list, but I am still so undecided. Logically, I know that I need the operation because my knee won't get any better, but I am so scared of the surgery and the pain afterwards. Also, because of some bad experiences when I was younger, I find it very difficult to put my trust in the medical profession.

I know that the consultant will ask me what my decision is, and don't know what to say.

Joan

frogmorton

Oh Joan
You've got to weigh up the pain and immobilty you have now against short-term pain and discomfort.
Only you can decide really, but I still don't think teh surgeon will push you if things haven't got lots worse. When do you go?
Toni x

skezier

Hi Joan,

Its quite a decision for you to have to make but things have changed so much now and they really will look after you. The after pain is different I think and will be short lived as you get more mobile. Why not see what he has to say and go for a date but remember you can change your mind right up to the end. It could help your hip and your other leg to have the bad one done. They do say you know when you want it done but just keep that door open while you decide. As Toni said when do you go? Cris x

dachshund

Hi Joan.
I had a tkr 5 years ago and it was one of the best things i've done as i have no pain now and before i could not put any weight on my foot be cause the pain shot up my leg and i could'nt walk.
joan xx

angel1

You have spoken honestly of your fears with regard to surgery before Joan. As you may know, I had a TKR over two years ago, and - for me - it was an amazing experience. A very quick recovery, and no pain whatsoever. Not everyone is as lucky, and I NEVER say "You should have it done". It has to be what you want.

I believe, however, that someone like you will have done lots of research, and could probably write a thesis on the subject. Yet something is still holding you back.

Could it be these experiences that you suffered as a younger woman with regards to the medical profession as a whole?

Once again, and at the risk of sounding like someone on the payroll of the BACP - I`m not!! - I wonder if some therapy, preferably CBT, would help to rid you of these deep seated fears.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well...........Ange.

mistywillow

Hi Joan
I can empathise as can most of us here with your worries concerning surgery! You are an intelligent woman and I am guessing the surgeon has shown you the x rays and discussed with you the prognosis both with and without surgery. You know what stage you are at with respect to the actual condition of the joint and how much the pain interferes with the quality of your life. If you have not been given that information from the doctor, then use this appointment to get it. Once you have the information, then the course you follow may be obvious and if the only thing holding you back is your fear, then maybe talking it over with someone as Ange suggests may help yield your answer.
Good luck in whatever you do.
Gillx

lindalegs

Hi Joan,

I think you have to consider whether there's been a great deterioration between when you last saw your surgeon and now.

If the answer's 'not much' then you can put it off for a while longer yet and if the answer is 'considerable' then you must ask yourself if you can live with it deteriorating at this rate.

Only you know, Joan, how much it's affecting your daily life now - it is always a difficult decision to make.

Hope this helps.

Luv Legs

woodbon

In the summer I had my carpel tunnel release surgery on my left hand, (which was the worst). Just slight surgery, and only a local and it went really well. When I went back, for post op check the surgeon wanted to start treatment on my right hand, but has given me time to think, as I'm unsure! :oops:

Its so hard making up your mind. When you talk it over with the medical advisors you have, it may seem an easier decision to make. Putting the pros and cons on a list help too. In the end, of course, the choice must be yours, I wish you luck in decideing.

Good luck, love Sue

vonski

Hi Joan

Like others have said you have to think about can you cope with this for a while longer or is it getting too bad and needs doing now. I think Elna once told someone that they would know when the time was right so the question is do you think the time has come. A lot to think about I know.

Love
Vonski x

elnafinn

Hi Joan

So one side of your brain says go for it and other does not. You have fears but I do not actually know what they are? Are you able to talk to your consultant about the part of your brain that is saying no and why? Do you trust this consultant? That goes a long way to feeling more comfortable about the whole procedure.

In all probability you will have to have the op in years to come so you will always have that same "fear" stopping you unless you talk about it to someone and that someone may be able to help you overcome that "fear".

Luv
Elna c

chris7

Hi Joan

Sorry I can't advise, but hope you are feeling a little clearer about this difficult decision. As usual there is some good advice above from people who have been there which I hope helps a little.
Take care
Chris

joyful164

Hi Joan
I think, deep down, you know the answer to this one, scary as it may seem. But you have jollied along, conjoled, praised, hurried others about their ops and now :roll: I think you must put your name down, I'm sure the surgeon will give you all the support you need and as someone elses has said, you have to weigh up the benefits against the odds. What's going to happen as it gets worse

dear Woodbon - the carpel tunnel op! I must admit I would be worried if it came to my right. Would I be able to do my art afterwards?

lov joy

joanlawson

angel1 wrote:

You have spoken honestly of your fears with regard to surgery before Joan. As you may know, I had a TKR over two years ago, and - for me - it was an amazing experience. A very quick recovery, and no pain whatsoever. Not everyone is as lucky, and I NEVER say "You should have it done". It has to be what you want.

I believe, however, that someone like you will have done lots of research, and could probably write a thesis on the subject. Yet something is still holding you back.

Could it be these experiences that you suffered as a younger woman with regards to the medical profession as a whole?

Once again, and at the risk of sounding like someone on the payroll of the BACP - I`m not!! - I wonder if some therapy, preferably CBT, would help to rid you of these deep seated fears.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well...........Ange.

Thank you for your reply. I do find it quite difficult to trust doctors in general, and also it doesn't help that my husband is very apprehensive about me having major surgery. I think he is nervous on my behalf, although of course he would support my decision.

Please could you tell me what CBT therapy is? I do feel that it would help to have a chance to talk to a professional therapist. The only problem is that my appointment with the consultant is on 5th Nov, so not much time.

Joan

chris7

Joan

Think it may be Cognitive Behaviour Therapy they mean. Am sure others will come in here on this one. Must dash to work.
Take care.
Chris x

elnafinn

Hi Joan

If you are not at all ready with your answer, why not cancel this consultant appointment on 5 November and give yourself much more time.

Luv
Elna x

angel1

Joan hello,

CBT is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. As the name implies, it is about the way we think, and how that impacts on what we do, as a result. It is used for people presenting with a wide range of issues, and is considered to be particularly helpful with phobias, and fears in general. Whilst accepting that something which happened in the past is the cause, CBT deals with how that is affecting you in the here and now. A useful website is www.rcpsych.ac.uk/cognitivebehaviouraltherapy.aspx.

If, however, you feel that it would be more helpful to discuss what happened to you in the past in more detail, then I feel that Person Centred Counselling may be better for you. This is a non directive form of therapy, and puts you completely in charge of whatever you wish to talk about. I suggest this because it may well be that your fears are more widespread. For example when you mentioned your husband`s apprehension.

Finally, you asked for our personal experiences. You already know that mine were all good. I will say, however, that I believe it is of paramount importance that you are in the right frame of mind. I needed my TKR from not long after my husband died, but I just couldn`t face it, alone, for several years. People said afterwards that I should have had it done long before. My answer to that was that I truly believe I wouldn`t have had the result I did at the time, because my thinking was all negative. This is just my take on it all, of course.

I hope this helps Joan, although, as you have said, you don`t have much time before your appointment. Please let me know what you decide............Ange.

joanlawson

Hi Ange

Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately, the link you gave me doesn't seem to work. I have sent you a PM.

Joan

woodbon

Hello Joan I agree with Elana, if you can carry on a bit longer it may give you the chance to make a firm desision that you are happy with. My only feeling is, that if you put it of is it for the right reasons. If you have high levels of pain and are finding it very hard to cope, is putting it of going to help?

You are an intelligent woman, I'm sure you've thought about all these things yourself, CBT is Cognitive Behaviorul Therapy, and is supposed to be able to help people change their perceptions of things ie say, fear of spiders, in a very short time. I've no personal experience, but, I have read a book explaining about it and I was impressed. The library probably has something, or Am#z##n.

I hope things go well for you, its such a hard decision to make, which however much support you have, still has to be your own decision. Good luck, love Sue

joanlawson

Hi Sue

Thank you for your advice and support. I'm not that intelligent, I don't think, or I wouldn't be dithering about like this :!:

Joan

bertyboy

hello Joan

thank you so much for asking the questions that are all in my head you have done it so well , like you i am very apprehensive on when to make the decision and the answers that have been given are certainly helping , i amble around with crutches if going any distance and use a stick or 2 in the house on really bad days i declined the offer to go on the list till i see him again in Jan ,but i feel now that i am getting nearer to a firm choice , so thank you again , ihope it is all helping you xxx