Half term

tkachev

Hello everyone,
Just to let you know that all went well for the half term.Daughters blockage went the next day after I posted.We seem to be on a 3 month cycle.I think we can avoid surgery,I really dont want to go down that route.Her next appointment with the consultant is in January but I dont think he can help anymore.It is just down to my daughter now.
She has had a problem since about 3 months and the consultant says her brain is no longer sending the necessary signals.I hope her body starts to work properly as she is getting very upset with it all.Today she didnt want to go to school.I had a meeting with the teacher arranged but the teacher was off sick for a week so i will have to re-arrange it.
Her behaviour was better over half term.She learnt at a very young age that I cant pick things up so that is why she throws things and has even thrown my crutches on the floor.I find that so upsetting!
However I also know she cares about me.She hasnt learnt to deal with the temper tantrums yet.
My older daughter was constantly reprimanding them all and I get so confused!She finds fault with lots of things and has her own way of dealing with it all which is alien to me!She has changed her diet because she was so ill last year and now eats fruit and veg and veg soups,nuts,seeds and almond milk to give her energy and it seems to be working very well.
Anyway thankyou all for your advise last week...take care
Elizabeth

joanlawson

Hi Elizabeth

I'm glad to hear that you have survived half term OK. It is a pity you couldn't see the teacher at school. I wonder what your daughter's behaviour is like at school? She might be surpressing her emotions at school, and behaving well, and then letting them all out at home. You are the most important person in her life, so she is aiming her frustrations at you. I'm sure her bowel problems are causing her a lot of discomfort, so that is probably the main cause of her bad behaviour. At school, you could ask for a referral to the psychologist if you think it might help.

Joan

tkachev

You are absolutely right Joan-she is an angel at school.I expect she is taking it out on me but I feel like I am treading on eggshells!That is why I walk away because she wants to get into a shouting match which will just make things worse.
Elizabeth.

joanlawson

Hi Elizabeth

You said that your daughter's behaviour was better during half term, and that she didn't want to go back to school. There is obviously something bothering her about school. Have you asked her what is upsetting her? I wonder whether she is being bullied, or has a problem with an area of the work? If she is experiencing problems at school, she might be taking them out on you. I hope you get to see the teacher soon, as it might help to clarify things for you.

Joan

tkachev

I am guessing that the problems are associated with her tummy probs.She used to be great at school and had lots of friends but now she says she doesnt have anyone to play with.I have noticed she doesnt talk to many children before school when lining up to go into class.
That is why I arranged to see her teacher to see if she really is on her own and if so I think it will be because of the tummy.She has to be changed throughout the day and this is not a nice experience for her.If I was better I would go up and do the changing but I expect the school would not allow that because they dont want her to stand-out(they have told me that)But of course she does stand out if she needs to be changed throughout the day!
Before Gym club I always change her in the toilets,quietly,discreetly and she is happy about this.I think they change her in an office...not very discreet!
I will sort it out with a meeting I think that will be my next step.
Best wishes Elizabeth

joanlawson

Hi Elizabeth

Changing your daughter in an office doesn't sound very nice for her, so I would raise that when you see the teacher. How much privacy is she being given, and who is the person doing the changing?

Children never like to be different or singled out in any way, and that might be the root cause of her difficulties. The fact that she doesn't seem to be mixing with the other children very well should be ringing alarm bells with the school, and I would want to know what strategies they are using to help her to make friends more easily. If she used to have friends, but has now become withdrawn, that should have been noticed by the teachers. I am a retired primary school teacher, and I have come across situations like this many times. The school should have a policy for helping children to care for each other, and to make friends.

Joan

tkachev

Joan
Thankyou so much for your advise.I will go to the meeting(will arrange one tonight when I go to Gym club) and see what is going on.I always go in polite and calm but I need to find out about the changing and the friends situation.She says she played with another girl yesterday and enjoyed telling me about the game.
The welfare/secretary changes her.I think Lucy avoids going to change nowadays and just waits to get home so I think it is upsetting her.Sometimes she changes when every one goes to assembly and walks in after all the other children.The office is not particularly private,window and children coming-and-going although I think they have to knock before they are allowed in!
Many thanks and best wishes
Elizabeth.