Wanting to start family/too ill off meds : (

dutchess

I posted a while ago when in july me and hubby decided that we wanted to start a family and with the support of my consultant came off my meds (methotrexate) two months in major flare, signed off work with ordered rest, 40mg steroids got all very ridiculous and me and hubby were unable to cope with how ill I was (have ra/sjogrens, cutaneous vasculitis, it was the vasculitis which caused the problem). Anyway about a month ago we decided it couldn't go on like that and I went back on my meds so physically health wise I'm improviding its just emotionally I'm finding it very difficult. Just wondered if anyone else out there had experienced this, have they explored other options? Just don't know where to turn as reality sinking in. Know steroids are only option in managing conditions when coming off meds but don't seem to cope very well at all, will I ever be able to try again or do I have to deal with this hand I've been dealt and look at other options. Am seeing my gp friday so will have a good chat then and see consultant in january. On plus side we adopted another cat on saturday : )
Take care
Luv Kelly

tkachev

I am not surprised you feel so upset.It must be awful for you.Have they said if you get this under control you can then try for a baby?But as soon as you come off meds you feel awful and have a flare.It hopefully wont always be like this.At some point you will feel okay off the medication,long enough to conceive and then hopefully in remission.Thats a lot of ifs and buts I know, but there is hope.I was well when pregnant with R.A(aged 40).Everything went very well but I hadnt been on any MTX or Humira before so was very lucky.
Dont give up!I can only hope you get a window of light at some point.
Best wishes
Elizabeth

cthornley

oh Kelly I feel for you..... I would give it a break for a bit and come back and try again it may just be a case of bad timing for now
I had a son who is now 18mths old and had to come of MTX to concieve, and it was a wonderful but very very trying and difficult time.
I have been back on MTX for a year now and i'm still not back to where I was, which makes looking after my very active toddler really difficult.
WHilst I was off it and for a cross over period I was on 20mg of steroids which allowed me to function ok, but had side effects of there own.
Everyone husband included is now pushing for me to have no. 2, the thought of which fills me with dread. I do want a little brother or sister for my little boy but the whole physical aspect of it, is just too much for me unless I can at least start from a good position.
My thoughts are with you because I know exactly how difficult the whole process can be ((()))

dutchess

Thanks for all your lovely replies, is helpful to know I'm not alone. Just feels like arthur takes enough from you and impacts on your quality life that the whole baby thing is another kick in the teeth. I was told by my gp that my vasculitis has to get under control with 10mg of steroids but at 40mg it wasn't too happy and I was having to basically live on the sofa resting which meant having quite a bit of time off work. To be honest even with the methotrexate its never been completely under control so I'm not sure of the answer. Guess I'll have to wait until I see my Gp on friday and have a really good chat as I just want some answers. Not sure whether he'll have them or not though.
Take care
Luv Kelly

skezier

Hi Kelly,

Once your stabilized maybe you can try again then. The door isn't shut yet and next time may be better for you. I am sorry though but just hang in there and see what your gp says. Could you go on something like sulfa? I read somewhere, I think, pregnancy is ok on it? I don't know if thats right but it might help. Luv Cris x

jenzie06

Hey sorry to hear you are struggling. I was off meds for a over a year before we started trying as that was what the doc recommended. I was on leflunomide. I was able to take hydrox and amytrip whilst I was waiting for the drugs to be out of my system. I also had a wash out (pretty grim but worth it, horrid wallpaper paste type drink 3x a day for 10 days). It was pretty difficult to be off meds. I had to give up work permanently and do a lot of resting (boring but worth it). Once I got pregnant I came off everything except steroids. I was addicted to amytrip, which no one realised until I went through withdrawal (not a huge amount of fun, thought I was dying at one point).
I'm 17wks preg now. It is difficult. RA hasn't gone into remission but I try and manage my life with rest and paracetamol. It doesn't always work but I'm keeping my eyes on the prize and some days are spent in bed.
If you can't manage without the drugs there are always other options - adoption, fostering, surrogate etc. There are lots of children out there who are desperate for a loving home.
I hope you don;t get too dispondant, perhaps when the drugs have settled your conditions a bit more you can have another crack at it? Keep your chin up.
xx

woodbon

Hello, I'm sorry for you, it must be hard. Maybe if you give yourself a bit of a rest from pain and take your meds for a while, then, when you feel better, look at it again and see how you feel. I expect you are at a low ebb at the moment and things always feel worse, then.

People do have children, although they have RA. Maybe you'll have a better time when you try again, with not so much pain.

Good luck and take care, you've got plenty of time, if you really want to you'll get their in the end!
Love Sue

Wonkylegs

HI
so sorry to read your post and see how tough things have been for you.

I haven't any answers for you, but I wonder if I might make a suggestion..... my hubby and I had to make a very difficult choice of whether to start on MTX at age 38 and give up the thoughts of a family (we were looking at having to go through IVF as well) and we were referred for counselling together.

The counselling really really helped us to understand how each other felt, and gave us the strength to make a decision based on the facts and knowing how we truly felt, rather than snap decision based on emotions.

I hope that however you go forward from here, you keep well and talk everything through with each other.

lots of hugs (((((((((()))))))

suziev

hiya

i think there is always a chance to try again but at least the second time you will know what your up against. it's been in my thoughts how athur has rules my life with regard to kids and he turly is for you too.
having tried for my first child for 3 and a half years without ra, i do know what it's like to long for a child, one step forward 3 steps back.
keep your chin up pet, it will all work itself out in the end.
suzie x