need advice & someone to talk to

amethyst

i have had ra for two years now but still dont know what will happen to me, as i live on my own and have no family or close friends i need someone who i could talk to who will spend time listing to me i have a good gp but she hasn't the time to listen to all my worries
i am just panicking and worried about everything just now i know i shouldn't be but i am a way ahead wondering about different things that might happen next year, things like my incapacity money dla as they are up for renual .i never used to be like this but i think a lot of things are just coming to head now.
i have already had a long rant on the forum about hospital doctors appointment on Friday
sorry for this rant but i just had to ask for some advice

dachshund

Amethyst.
I'm sorry but i cannot help you as i have oa.
i'm sure some one will come along in a miniute who i'm sure will be able to help you as i dont no anything about ra.
there are a lot of kind people on here.
joan xx

joyful164

Hello Amethyst
Poor You. I think you will find that you are not so much on your own once this lot here get to you. You have the help of the Helpline poeple also.

First of all, have you been referred to a Rheumatologyst yet at your local hospital? If you put a message through on the Helpline page, then a lot of your worries will be addressed.

Welcome to site. I would suggest that you contact your local CAB to help you with your DLA forms. The DWP are being really tough with these this year. It can be a minefield,so get someone from there or make appointment with Welfare Rights. I have lost the mobility part of my DLA as from Jan, but will have the chance to appeal again come December.
Also, when you see a Rheumy, you can have a referral to an Occupational Therapist who will come and visit you at home. She will instigate any help you need in the home as you are on your own.
Bye for now. There are plenty of friends on here to help you
Very pleased to have you on board.

Joy

elnafinn

I think a call to the helpline would be beneficial for you. It is confidential which may well make it much easier for you than talking about your worries and fears on the open forum. It often makes it much easier to be having a one to one conversation. I have not used the helpline service but many have and have praised them very highly indeed in every way.

You may find someone answers your thread that you would like to converse with more and you can alway contact them by private message.

A problem shared is a problem halved.

Luv
Elna x

jordan7j

Hi amethyst, as said by everyone, a call to the helpline will do you the world of good, they have all the info, and the time to listen. Also find out if there is a group in your area, if its hard for you to get there find out about any schemes available for disabilities. I am in London, we have the taxi card scheme, where the borough pays for the first 3 miles of the journey and you pay the rest. I'm sure other areas must have similar ones.
It must be so hard to be alone, please call the helpline, will be thinking of you Jay x

suzster

hi, i to find sometimes everything seems to come to a head and you can feel alone and over whelmed.
i'm married with 2 children but still very often feel very alone, the people on here, all of them are wonderful and a real help, just knowing i'm not alone with the feeling is great.
friends and family don't always understand and i also feel very guilty talking to them about how i feel in case they think me a moany person!
my RA was diagnosed 2 yrs ago and although i know i'm better than i was in the beginning my RA is still not well controlled and every day life is tough.
please feel free to pm me if you like.
im happy to chat!
sue

chris7

Amethyst

What a lovely username. I am so sorry I can't help with your health issues, I am a relative novice with OA and still manage part time work. However I do understand the needing someone to talk to as I also live alone and though I have some nice work colleagues I don't have the 'real friends'you can leave a key with, if you know what I mean. I'm 49 and also worry about the future. I hope you will get some practical advise from others on the forum but am happy if you would like to pm me anytime. I log on every day just to chat, in chit chat so would see your messages and would be pleased to reply.
sending hugs, take care
Chris

breane

Hi Amethyst,Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment. It must be very difficult when you have no close family to rely on.I was diagnosed with OA`last Dec. and then with RA earlier this year so it came as a double whammy.Perhaps if you contacted the Helpline they may be able to tell you if there is an arthritis support group in your area.In the meanwhile, coming onto this forum there is always someone who will listen and support you.I have found it a great help,I hope you will too.Take care, love Breane.

woodbon

Hi, I know what your going through as I am at home all day long and I live in the middle of the country-side, which is nice, but as we don't even have a village shop and even the Church has very few services and no heating, it can sometimes feel lonely. I come on here, phone people, and if I feel OK drive to the nearest very small town and go to the shops! Only clothes shops, as the big supermarkets require too much bending and reaching. Its OK for just 1 or 2 things, but then I start to hurt and get cross with myself.

I'm hoping that I may be able to either do a few hours work, or maybe some befriending, but I want to get my benifits sorted out first. I know I will not be able to work for more than a few hours 2 or 3 times a week and even to do that, I need to be a bit stronger, thats what I'm working on! I go for short walks and often meet someone who is willing to pass the time of day with.

This is a great site for friends though. You can say anything and chat to lots of people, its the best I've seen yet. Once you are a 'regular', if you are away without saying first, you will find lots of messages asking whats wronge! Sorry, I'm going on again. :oops:

I think Arthritis Care have some groups going and also can tell you what's about in your area, so the Helpline is worth a try too.
Lots of love Sue

sharmaine

Hi

You must feel very alone if you have no family or friends to talk with about your condition. Are there any social groups you could visit?
I think we all need someone to talk too. Voice your concerns on the forum there's always someone available with good advice etc.

We moved 3 years ago from Dorset to Hampshrie and a month after moving in I was diagnosed with OA. I struggled with travelling to work (full time) up until last May and in the end I had to resign. I'm going to make an effort to join a group in the new year so I can meet people who live in the area because I haven't made friends with anyone in the area.

Take care and I hope things get better for you.

Sharmaine

woodbon

I find that one of the problems of lonlynes now is caused by so many women in full or part-time work. When I was little, Mums tended to stay at home and so even if they didn't visit each other much, a trip to the shops would take ages as she would meet lots of people she knew and stand chatting for ages. Now, we have a few older, retired people at home and a few Mums with very young children and busy lives. People who are home because of illness are just the odd person here and their. Shops are no longer local butchers, greengrocers and so on. Just the odd newsagent. The busy people working are either shopping at the evening or Saterdays or, as in our case doing most of it on line. Also families often have to move long distances from each otherl, so that there are not the brothers and sisters, Mums and Dads and other family members to pop in for a chat. We do live very different lives now, than since I was young and I'm 54, not that old!