Report - Makes me Feel Strange!!!

woodbon

Hello, Yesterday I fetched the letter my GP has written for the ESA, on Monday. As she said, it was hard for her to write a really detailed letter, as they are still testing and are not sure what the next move will be!

She says I have severe back and neck pains since 2004, (I'd forgotten the injury I had received at work which led to physio and a few weeks rest), degenerative changes to my lumber spine and hips. That I've seen specialist physios and rheumatologist, Pain Clinic but that no significant pain reduction, leaving me unable to work due to discomfort and limited activities.

She also says about the Carpal tunnel and recent surgery and waiting for neuro about - and this is the bit I sort of understand, but don't like the sound of - :shock: "antecubital fossa compression resulting in pain and limitation of function in my hands and forearm.All true, I know it sounds silly, but seeing written down and knowing that it is not going to just get better if left, but worse I don't like :? as its a very long standing problem, thats got worse over some time, makes me feel that its all too much to be true. I feel inside that its nothing, really and I'm making a fuss. My neck is still a bit painful and I know that it will only be treated if really needed, because of the risks, with all the important nerves so close together.

I should feel cross, but I don't, I just feel that I want to do everything to get better, if I am really ill. I hope when I see the neurologist that he will say I'm fine. But I have the test results and the pain. To make things worse, my knees are a bit sore and swollen, and I have my ESA medical to look forward to, not! Nothing much, but it all adds up.

Sorry to go on and on about nothing, really but, this helps me to think straight, or at least I hope it does! :roll:
Love Sue

woodbon

Hi, I've been thinking about what you said about denial. I suppose in some ways, I do accept it but in others I don't. Its the little things that are hard to accept, like not being able to walk like I used to, we used to go for long walks and planned lots of things we would do. Sometimes, looking at old photo's of me when we went out hill walking in the Peak District and lots of other places. Well I find it hard to think I may never be able to repeat those things.

I'm so lucky, I can do such a lot that others cann't, but I have lost a part of my life, and sometimes it still feels hard to take. :?

I'm not going on and depressing everyone! I am and do cope.

Love Sue

skezier

Hi Sue,

To see it written is very different from knowing you have it. I know my last MRI was hard to read but it didn't make it any worse than it was just I felt worse about it I think. You take your time and don't worry about depressing people. Luv and a ((( ))) Cris x

woodbon

Hi Chris, I think its just everything seems fine and you seem to be on top of it and then it hits you again. But I'm fine now! Thanks, Love Sue

Dellboy, Sorry, If it helps I also get depressed when I see photo's of me in my 20s and a size 10!!! Life goes on and things change and I'll admit to enjoying the quieter pace of my life now I'm not working!!! Although I do miss the company! Sue

suncatcher

Hi sue i have had a letter detailing what the welfare rights are going to be argueing against at the tribunal and seeing what is wriitten about me is difficult to read. so i know how u feel. I hate this whole thing everyone is being put through. keep ur chin up im just concentrating one day at time and trying not to look ahead of me. hope u can too from joanne

annie_mial

Hi Sue, sorry this knocked you down again, but you do have the comfort of knowing that something positive is happening and that you are not just sitting waiting.
Keep your pecker up!

Annie

ritwren

It is so very difficult to see things written about you even 'tho you know they're true. I do feel for you as I had similar feelings when I asked for and got the reports of my last x rays. You are very strong and have been a great support to others on the board, myself included, I just wanted to say hang in there and good luck. Do take good care and be kind to yourself.
bye for now
rita

joyful164

woodbon wrote:

Hello, Yesterday I fetched the letter my GP has written for the ESA, on Monday. As she said, it was hard for her to write a really detailed letter, as they are still testing and are not sure what the next move will be!

She says I have severe back and neck pains since 2004, (I'd forgotten the injury I had received at work which led to physio and a few weeks rest), degenerative changes to my lumber spine and hips. That I've seen specialist physios and rheumatologist, Pain Clinic but that no significant pain reduction, leaving me unable to work due to discomfort and limited activities.

She also says about the Carpal tunnel and recent surgery and waiting for neuro about - and this is the bit I sort of understand, but don't like the sound of - :shock: "antecubital fossa compression resulting in pain and limitation of function in my hands and forearm.All true, I know it sounds silly, but seeing written down and knowing that it is not going to just get better if left, but worse I don't like :? as its a very long standing problem, thats got worse over some time, makes me feel that its all too much to be true. I feel inside that its nothing, really and I'm making a fuss. My neck is still a bit painful and I know that it will only be treated if really needed, because of the risks, with all the important nerves so close together.

I should feel cross, but I don't, I just feel that I want to do everything to get better, if I am really ill. I hope when I see the neurologist that he will say I'm fine. But I have the test results and the pain. To make things worse, my knees are a bit sore and swollen, and I have my ESA medical to look forward to, not! Nothing much, but it all adds up.

Sorry to go on and on about nothing, really but, this helps me to think straight, or at least I hope it does! :roll:
Love Sue

You have gone through a very stressful few days and you need to relax. It's looks like you will not be going back to work so have yy or going toretire?
I hate this degenerative word. Had that written down on my letter.
It's good to have a 'chunter' about it on here. At least you can get some positive thoughts from others.
Hope you have a good night and don't worry

joy