Help, advice needed please

lovehearts

Hello everyone

It's got to the point where I don't know what to do anymore.
I've had RA for over 10 years now, it has been controlled with 20mg methotrexate, folic acid and diclofenac. I had very high liver test results on a routine blood test. To cut a long story short, I was admitted to hospital back in August with pains in my shoulder blades and down my right side. It was thought the diclofenac was the cause, I was taken off all medication. After CT scans and MRI scans they found out I had gallstones and 3 cysts one measuring 15cm, I had no idea I had any of this. I have been off work since July, I work full time for a building society, it's a long day, I leave home at 7.30am and get home at 7pm, I'm divorced with two children, my daughter's at uni and my 18 yr old son lives at home but really isn't much help. I had two operations last month within 4 weeks of each other, one to remove the 3 cysts, an ovary and a fallopian tube, then I've recently had my gallbladder removed. I am in absolute agony with my RA as I could only re start my methotrexate today, I wake up in the morning and can hardly get out of bed or down the stairs. I'm awake most of the night with throbbing feet and hands and I'm like this all day. Everything is a chore, I have no quality of life, I'm 49 and feel 99 and the thought of going back to work on the 4th Jan feels me with dread as I just don't know how I'm going to manage. I have just rang my doctor and have an appointment with him after xmas as my comopnay want a doctor's report. I would give up work if I could and look for a local part time job but unfortunately I am in debt and need to work all hours to make ends meet.
Please any advice would be so appreciated as I feel as though this is how my life is going to be like forever.

Kim xx

trisher

Hi Kim

I can only say the same as Jan.

I hope everything works out for you and the Mext starts working really soon.

Love Trish xxx

nick55

I hope I dont tread on anyone's toes. but the first thing in dealing with arthritis and I have osteo, quite bad at times, but at least am mobile, the first thing is personal well being. solve any personal problems then you only have arthritis to worry about. If my own walking is limited at any time I can at least sit in the car, visit a shop and look round, simply watch the sea and wait until things improve.

I would suggest your first move is to get rid of the debts. without knowing what they are and do not wish to ask, I would say, these are the first problems-- have your tried debt counseling, or citizens advice? it saddens me that these should be a problem for anyone. as one person is reported to have said to a Contactee, Alex collier, ,' why do you have to pay money in order to live in your world when you were born there?' but that is how things are sadly.

I would suggest using a good spreadsheet, and putting all your incomings/outgoings on the computer, then you are able to do a projection. I do this all the time often overspend but have no personal debts, and am retired. but by having everything there in front of you on the computer screen.

believe me it takes a huge amount of worry away from you even f your are running a large deficit at least you can see where it all s and it may make it easier to manipulate your expenses in such a way that the worry is taken ot of your repayments. believe me I would be a heap of worry without my own spreadsheet. i

f you have windows, download openoffice for free, it is excellent . I use iwork on an imac. they are both excellent. once you get used to using it it should become your own financial adviser so to speak, and make paying the bills much easier. at least you will see where you stand with everything.
I am happy to be of further help is asked.

best wishes for Christmas and new year,

Nick

elnafinn

Hi Kim

I am sorry to read your posting. I do hope that your gp is supporting you at this time and appreciates that you are not fit for work and will do all he can to help. I also hope that the BS you work for are treating you ok financially during your time off sick.

Nick's suggestions regarding a spreadsheet etc is a good idea but when you are supporting a child at uni and perhaps your 18 year old is not yet working, you have rent/mortgage to pay out for and everything else it a huge worry that one really does not need on top of unwellness.

I do hope that things sort themselves out for you for the better, very soon. Please let us know how you go on.

Perhaps a call to the helpline may be of benefit to you. At least you would be able to unload all your worries to them and it is confidential. Many people have been helped greatly by them on this forum.

Luv
Elna x

ritwren

Hi Kim, I don't have anything extra to add but it seems like you've had a very rough time. I know what it's like to have to work to support yourself when you're really not well enough to do it.
You've had good advice from the folks here and I agree that regarding arthur, do take more time off work as it sounds like you need it. I too hope your GP is being supportive to you and that your meds kick in soon for you. CAB may well be able to help you work out a plan to sort out your bills etc... also I'd ring the helpline here as they may be able to point you in the right direction.
With regard to your work, Dorcas has a thread under working matters which has lots of good info on what you're entitled to etc.... to be able to stay in work and things that can make your working life a little easier perhaps. Do check it out and although you'd like something else it may be that with some adjustments you may find you'll be able to stay where you are which it seems is what you may need regarding finances, hope all this makes sense.
Good to see you on the boards, I do hope things get better for you. Let us know how you get on.
rita

nick55

Elna is right, first unburdon yourself, bring your worries into the open. part of the problem we all make is keeping these worries in the dark, as if they go away. But it only compounds them.
then i would definitely get a spreadsheet, they are easy to use and extremely versatile. all you will be doing is what a financial advisor/debt councilor does, but doing it for yourself. And for free!!

then get all your expenses down, and see on a daily basis how all your outgoings and incoming add up. Believe me it will ease a lot of worry, even though it won't improve your immediate situation. But getting worry out into the open so to speak, and seeing clearly is half the battle.

I live alone and manage off my investments, which are modest by many standards. but it is easy to spend, and throw cares to the wind until they come home all at once shall we say.

I hope you sort things out and have a nice new year,

Nick

elnafinn wrote:

Hi Kim

I am sorry to read your posting. I do hope that your gp is supporting you at this time and appreciates that you are not fit for work and will do all he can to help. I also hope that the BS you work for are treating you ok financially during your time off sick.

Nick's suggestions regarding a spreadsheet etc is a good idea but when you are supporting a child at uni and perhaps your 18 year old is not yet working, you have rent/mortgage to pay out for and everything else it a huge worry that one really does not need on top of unwellness.

I do hope that things sort themselves out for you for the better, very soon. Please let us know how you go on.

Perhaps a call to the helpline may be of benefit to you. At least you would be able to unload all your worries to them and it is confidential. Many people have been helped greatly by them on this forum.

Luv
Elna x