what is a true friend

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valval
valval Non-active member Posts: 14,911
edited 10. Jan 2010, 03:40 in Living with Arthritis archive
hi well to me it is some one who thinks as much of me as i do them . who remembers to make sure i am well and happy. there to listen when i am feeling down, and make me laugh . do i have such a friend at the moment well one and i thank my lucky stars for her. i did have another who when she split with her partner was there for her made sure she had shoulder to lean on and some one to laugh with but when the time came and i needed her she was not there for me never asks how i am and if need anything so have given up putting my self out for her i know it selfish of me but do not have time and energy to waist on selfish people any more.
val

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  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Val
    Has you know they don't come along very often if ever, I have a neighbour who has a young family, but nothing is to much trouble, she has done our shopping , listened when I needed to talk, if I am not well she is there,I always makw sure that I am there when she needs me, It has to work both ways.
    Barbara x
    Love
    Barbara
  • queenfan
    queenfan Non-active member Posts: 563
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Val we all go through life having friends, some are more special & closer than others, I have friends But besides my family I have one very dear friend who knows how I feel & gives me space when i need it.
    I was writing like I am now, to people in the same situation as myself.
    this person answered my message & did not judge me, I am very grateful to her,& so pleased to have her as a friend even though we have never met in person.
    It's so good to meet people that suffer like yourself they know how you feel. It hurts when we have close friends who we think should understand our feelings & treat us differently when we become ill
    moan over :roll: I hope you are keeping well & warm :wink:
    take care Sue x
  • woodbon
    woodbon Non-active member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi, I've got a friend who lives a long way from me now, although we lived close together for a long time. I know that if I go to see her we just pick up where we left off, we don't even ring or write much, but if we have a problem, either of us, the other will do anything to help. I think you don't have to be near all the time, its nice if you are, but life isn't like that, always. But I always know I can turn to her good or bad. Love Sue
  • indigo
    indigo Non-active member Posts: 113
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Val,

    Know how you feel, if like me you are stuck at home a lot folks always know you are there at the end of the phone or ready with the kettle
    on, ready to sit and listen to all the troubles and share them........halve
    them :!: :!: then when it is yourself that needs an ear.........ohh
    those people have such busy lives and thier own problems to deal
    with......

    How many times we say thats it.......no more :roll: :roll:

    Then.........well there you are again.....phone in hand and kettle on
    listening and sharing.

    Take of you Val......you know you will go on being there for those
    that need you.

    It is good to know you are needed and valued----even if feeling
    a bit taken for granted and your needs ignored :? :?

    Happy New Year
    all the best for 2010

    Love Indigo x
  • jordan7j
    jordan7j Bots Posts: 346
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi, I have one good friend, who understands how painful and debilitating RA can be. Others sympathise, but dont really understand, and expect it to go away, or just try to ignore it. My friend is always there at the end of the phone, and when shes not working shes always ready to come out with me, or just to sit in with me, I treasure her very much.
    Even with a close family, its good to have someone else to be able to talk to, and to cry to when you need to. love Jay x
  • kazpaz
    kazpaz Bots Posts: 103
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi valval and all

    This is an interesting thread and one near to my heart at the moment.

    Have just had the experience of being judged about my arthur when I was having a bit of a tough time, or at least that was how I was made to feel.

    I think you are quite right about sticking to the people who love you without any reservation, in good times and in bad.

    I met one of the best friends I have through this forum. We have shared all the good times and bad. We are almost like honorary sisters and there never is and I don't think ever will be, any stress or strife.

    That is gold in my book. I am very lucky!

    For the rest..... they can get on with it!

    Kaz
  • valval
    valval Non-active member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    hi i think we all feel much the same true friends r like dew on a summers day there to be treasured they make life so special. as for the others well if they fall by the way side so be it we do not have the time or energy these days to be for ever chasing friendships that r not recipricated . this sight and another like it a life line have some really great mates who always there even if we never meet will always look out for each other thanks evey one
    val

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