Suit Your Bloody Self Then!

ninakang

An elderly woman lives next door but one to us who we know to nod to in the street. We know she lives on her own but she is very agile and always going out every day to get shopping etc.

So I knocked on her door last night. She opened the door a crack and said "What do you want?" I explained that I was worried about her in this bad weather and just wanted to check she was OK, asked if she needed anything etc.

She replied "I'm fine! I can manage perfectly well myself!" and shut the door in my face!

And we wonder why there's no neighbourly feeling anymore?????

Nx

mellman01

ninakang wrote:

An elderly woman lives next door but one to us who we know to nod to in the street. We know she lives on her own but she is very agile and always going out every day to get shopping etc.

So I knocked on her door last night. She opened the door a crack and said "What do you want?" I explained that I was worried about her in this bad weather and just wanted to check she was OK, asked if she needed anything etc.

She replied "I'm fine! I can manage perfectly well myself!" and shut the door in my face!

And we wonder why there's no neighbourly feeling anymore?????

Nx

Flippin heck granny rage that's a new one on me!

dachshund

Hi Nina.
it was kind of you to ask the lady but she did not look at it that way you are a kind person but not everyone thinks the same way and they dont want other peoples help.
if you knocked at my door i would be grate full.
joan xx

margaretschild

How rude of this lady, the least she could have said was Thank you.

I wonder if she is frightened of being put in a home - if it is seen that she cannot cope.

I know that a bit of help does not mean you cannot cope - but some people don't look at it that way.

If you would like to come and help clear the snow off my drive so I can go out I'd be most grateful

Linda

barbara12

Hi Nina,
Don't let one person put you off helping others, I have had that done to me, people are not always trusting, its the society we live in.
Barbara x :roll:

suzster

a thank you would of been nice!
i'd appreciate offers of help right now!
my elderly neighbour is lovely, when i 1st moved her she wouldn't talk to me, she thought it was wrong that me being young and being given a housing association bungalow was wrong, they were for old people, not me!
but when she found out about my disability (i had OA of the hip then, not RA,yet!) she couldn't apologise enough! now she rings me to check i'm ok, because neither of us can get out in this weather, she even lets my cats in her house if i'm not home and they are crying and gives them little bits to eat!
she always give my 2 girls a little pressie at christmas.
she know she can call me any time if she needs help.
sue

elnafinn

It may have come as a shock to her if you usually only nod to her in the street, to be asked by you if she needed any help. She may not have meant to speak as she did. Some elderly people are very proud too. She may have been a little frightened if peeps do not visit often expecially as it was probably dark.

As others have said, please don't take it to heart. There are many people that would love some company and have someone nearby looking out for them.

I hope you continue to acknowledge her in the street.

E x

skezier

Hi Nina,

Good on you for trying and well I think Elna has probably got a good idea there.

A lot of people, old or young, who are very independent but feel dependency snapping at their heels can become very defensive. Its sometimes 'just' cus they feel you are implying they can't cope and I am sure she now wishes she had been less gruff/rude to you. Maybe if you stay on nodding terms if you ask her again she will be more excepting of the offer? I know sometimes its hard if you feel threatened by dependency......

Still think well done for asking though and don't give up cus you were right to ask. Cris x

ninakang

I won't give up on being a good neighbour, no, I was just so surprised at her reaction!

I understand her reasons now you've all made suggestions, and I don't expect thanks or anything, I'm just very aware that I'll be old one day and would like someone to ask me the same.

And to the person who asked if I'd sweep their drive - I won't, but I can send my hubby round :-)

Nx

barbara12

ninakang wrote:

I won't give up on being a good neighbour, no, I was just so surprised at her reaction!

I understand her reasons now you've all made suggestions, and I don't expect thanks or anything, I'm just very aware that I'll be old one day and would like someone to ask me the same.

And to the person who asked if I'd sweep their drive - I won't, but I can send my hubby round :-)

Nx

Hi Nina
Don't know were you live , but my drive needs doing....his he any good at ironing.

tkachev

I expect she was frightened.Some people dont like it known they live alone.I dont have those disabled handles on the front door as they advertise vulnerability.
Best wishes and thanks for caring despite your own probs
Elizabeth

frogmorton

Flippin heck granny rage that's a new one on me! [/quote]
Mell
Nothing new to me - when I was social working i once got hit by one with a wooden spoon (stirring I was )!
Toni x

ichabod6

Go and talk to her again.

dorcas

delboy wrote:

Squirt superglue in her door lock.

Don't do that! you'll only get the glue all over your fingers and have to get then surgically separated! ':D'

How old is 'old'? iris x

lindalegs

pixyandfaries wrote:

delboy wrote:

Squirt superglue in her door lock.

now that is just plain norty dell! :shock: norty step for you young man , 20 mins to think about what you said ! :x

..isn't it a minute for every year of your age .....Dell's only a young man then .................some peeps are goin' be on there an awfully long time.

I'm a good girl I am.

Luv Legs

ninakang

I was actually thinking of knocking on her door and running away :-)

Nx

lindalegs

pixyandfaries wrote:

now stop it or you will be on the norty step !

...you might be needing more than one norty step at this rate Jan :roll: ....there are so many norty peeps on this forum....or can we share ....might be tempted to being norty myself then.

Luv Legs

ninakang

delboy wrote:

If there's no room on the step then legs and nina can sit on my lap.

Mind you it would be over an hour if it's a minute for every year of my age.

I've got no problem with that - you might though, Del, I'm heavier than I look, apparently!

Nx

lindalegs

.....and I've got a bony bum :shock:

ninakang

My hubby's never said that about mine! Right, I'm going to ring him!

Nx

annie_mial

pixyandfaries wrote:

lindalegs wrote:

.....and I've got a bony bum :shock:

lol hubby always says that about mine

and mine

Annie