Just had an arguement with a friend...

rach1986
rach1986 Member Posts: 32
edited 19. Jan 2010, 04:52 in Living with Arthritis archive
Okay so I'm in pain today, and not just in my wrist, but my shoulder and neck and other wrist too, which alone is freaking me out, because I'm only meant to have arthritis in my right wrist, nowhere else.

Anyway I just had a arguement with a friend because shes being off with me, and I invited her to the pub on friday night and she pretty much ignored me all night, just playing pool, and when I asked her why, just now on msn messenger, she claimed she wasnt ignoring me, she just wanted to play pool, and that whenever she asked me to play pool with her I wont. That really pee'd me off because she should know that I WANT to play pool but I physically cant because I'm either already in pain or if I play it causes pain. How do I get through to her that I really am in pain, that I'm not making it up?

Who else here has arguements with friends or family because they dont seem to get it?

Comments

  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    that a big reason we all come on here because if u do not have it u can not really understand it perhaps u should stand on her hand then ask if she feels like playing pool with it hurting lol you can not do that but because we look ok people think we just have odd aches and pains lol we feel for u but a true friend would look into arther and try to understand what u going through is she a true pal ????
    val
  • rach1986
    rach1986 Member Posts: 32
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lol Valval thanks for that, you made me laugh. I thought she was a true friend, but I dont seem to see her as much anymore, and she says to my other friends that she is stressed with uni and things so who knows. It is true though that if she was a good friend she would research arthritis. xx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    sometimes they just fall by the way side but there r lots of people out there so if she does end up drifting off make sure u have lots of other friends to go out with it will be her loss u sound like a lovely person r u at uni as well . if so how r u coping it can be stress full so try to do all u can to eat well and stay fit not asking u to stop going out with every one else as it all part of the experiance so enjoy if u r
    val
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, Sounds as if maybe you both have problems, her with Uni and you with arthritis. I can understand that in a way, you could easily fall into a 'compition' about whos got the worse problem! Sorry I'm not making light of the problem, because I have a sister who is very close to me, my closest relaited family member, not counting my husband!!! :) We often have the most childish rows about who has the worse deal over something, how awful are rather comfortable lives are. That sort of thing. We have a close blood tie which holds us together, but for friends its much easier to just drift apart when this sort of thing happens. You have to decide between you whether your friendship is worth keeping and if it is help each other to understand the problems you have. I hope this makes sense and please don't think I'm blaming you, I'm not. Lots of love Sue xxx
  • annebr
    annebr Member Posts: 730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    There was a letter and the spoons story on the site, which you could print and give to her. It helps explain what living with arthritis is like. I am sure someone will be able to point you in the right direction.

    It is a sad fact but sometimes friends just don't understand and stay away. i am in a similar position with a friend of nearly 20 years.

    Anne
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I agree Rach, the Spoon Theory may help your friend to understand a little more about how it is for you these days. I wonder, have you sat down with her and told her about your diagnosis and explained that it is early days and you are finding your feet with it all and that it is a little difficult for you, for many reasons as it all happened quite unexpectedly.
    Perhaps you two could have a heart to heart chat and she talk about her worries too.

    I do hope you both stay friends but if not, well peeps do move on. You will make more friends.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,032
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rach
    :(:(
    Bit sad really and msn is not actually talking so people might misundertsand what each other has said.
    I agree she could research it but if she is usually a good friend then maybe she is struggling with life herself.
    I agree with the suggestion of a proper in person caht.
    I hope you can sort it, but as Elna says, maybe people do change and move on...
    Love #
    Toni xx

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