Social Life

bluebeard
bluebeard Member Posts: 260
edited 24. Jan 2010, 10:06 in Living with Arthritis archive
do you have one ?

mine is awful

could really do with some friends

apart from support groups, which are great, what else can I do ?

being single and having a chronic illness ...not exactly a winning combination

lol

Comments

  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,398
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Bluebeard,

    I go to classes for French and watercolour painting. I belong to NWR (National Women's Register) - but you'd have to shave your beard off for that :shock: I've never let my RA stop me having a social life even on difficult days I make myself do things and join in.

    It's hard sometimes but I need a social life to keep me sane.

    Luv Legs :)
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • bluebeard
    bluebeard Member Posts: 260
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    love back xx

    I am going to do some volunteering I think
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    bluebeard wrote:
    love back xx

    I am going to do some volunteering I think

    I used to visit a 98 year old man who had a great sense of humour and it was interesting to hear about his life. He may have been old but he was as bright as a button. He did not quite make 100 years old. I now visit an 85 year old lady who also has all her marbles and a better memory than me. :lol: They are so appreciative of some company and someone who will listen to them. I always feel happy after I have visited her because she so values my company.

    Try it!

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I know what you mean, mine isn't helped by living in a small village without even a shop. The local pub closed over a year ago, but has been sold and looks as if it won't be long before it re-opens, hopefully as a Pub! They tend to be the village meeting place! Also, we do have a Church, which is next door to our house, but its very old, needs quite a lot of expensive work doing to it and has no heating! It has a service about once a month, but I go sometimes, in the summer!!! :?

    I have lots of hobbies, but tend to have to practice them alone. I think I need to make a bit more of an effort, but I never seem to have the energy. Evening classes are only help in the local town, which is 6 miles away, along tiny single track lanes!!! :shock:

    It does have its compensations though and is beautiful in the summer and the snow looked wonderful! Sorry to go on and on. :oops:
    Love Sue
  • jenzie06
    jenzie06 Member Posts: 708
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've recently started singing in a choir. As I don't work and can't get out that much I thought it might be something I can do and meet people.
    Its only once a week and although holding the song books can be difficult I can always share with my neighbour if I can't hold them. Plus there's a nice combination of sitting and standing. I do get stiff and find it tiring but its a nice trade off for meeting people. Plus singing makes you feel better.
  • englishrose
    englishrose Member Posts: 99
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I can sympathise with you. I find it very difficult. I used to do flat green bollong - but niw cannot hold onto the woods. Used to do ling walks along the coast on through wonderful inland scenery - not now as I do not have the energy. Used to love my garden but can only potter sometimes. But I still sew (only machine) and joined a craft group. We are currently making quilts for premature babies. Recently we made 15 quilts for the childrens ward at the hospital in Exeter. Dare I say I also belong to the WI in the village - at least you feel involved. I am sure you will find something - good luck.
    Jane
  • bailey27
    bailey27 Member Posts: 689
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh, thought this thread would tell you how to get your social life back!!!! lol
    Oh well wishful thinking.

    The last few months have been especially difficult for me. Ober the new year I think I counted 5 days runnng where i didnt even leave the house let alone socialise.
    At least we have this forum to keep us in touch with the outside world! :D
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I can emphasise with Linda. I too keep myself busy. I enjoy travelling and painting. I use to love walking and that has been curtailed a bit unfortunately, but I never have enough hours in the day.
    The problem is that I never know when I have done too much until my body suddenly screams at me to rest and take it easy and that is when I get frustrated.
    Today, for instance I have been cooking for Rob's birthday and if you log on to ChitChat and visit the cafe or bar or whatever takes your fancy, you will see that there is a party on Saturday night.
    You can eat as much as you like, and you can drink as much as you want. You don't get fat and you don't get drunk.
    I suppose if you have been use to going out a lot, dancing, walking clubing, whatever, then it is going to come as a blow to slow down and not be able to keep up with other friends.
    Welcome to the site and hope you find your answers.
    Joy
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    I often feel like that... but I do have a lovely family who are supportive and understanding.
    Could you join a group in your local community? Learn a new skill?
    It's a fab way of making new friends.

    Sharmaine


    quote="bluebeard"]do you have one ?

    mine is awful

    could really do with some friends

    apart from support groups, which are great, what else can I do ?

    being single and having a chronic illness ...not exactly a winning combination

    lol[/quote]
  • bluebeard
    bluebeard Member Posts: 260
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    elnafinn wrote:
    bluebeard wrote:
    love back xx

    I am going to do some volunteering I think

    I used to visit a 98 year old man who had a great sense of humour and it was interesting to hear about his life. He may have been old but he was as bright as a button. He did not quite make 100 years old. I now visit an 85 year old lady who also has all her marbles and a better memory than me. :lol: They are so appreciative of some company and someone who will listen to them. I always feel happy after I have visited her because she so values my company.

    Try it!

    Luv
    Elna x

    do u do this via a voluntary agency?
  • bluebeard
    bluebeard Member Posts: 260
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    gee thanks guys and gals xx

    :wink:
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    bluebeard wrote:
    elnafinn wrote:
    bluebeard wrote:
    love back xx

    I am going to do some volunteering I think

    I used to visit a 98 year old man who had a great sense of humour and it was interesting to hear about his life. He may have been old but he was as bright as a button. He did not quite make 100 years old. I now visit an 85 year old lady who also has all her marbles and a better memory than me. :lol: They are so appreciative of some company and someone who will listen to them. I always feel happy after I have visited her because she so values my company.

    Try it!

    Luv
    Elna x

    do u do this via a voluntary agency?

    You can become a Befriender, I think that is the correct term and I know our local Age Concern put people in touch with those that wish to have company.

    I got to know Gordon through his main carer who I knew. I had known Evie for years but not that well. Her circumstances changed and I started to visit her and help her out on occasions.

    Elna x

    ps some people enjoy doing a few hours volunteering in a local charity shop. One way to meet many different kinds of people.
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • countessheather
    countessheather Member Posts: 114
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :cry: I dont have RA but have Fibro and Arthur. I have 2 small `hairy hounds' who sleep in their basket in my bedroom at mums and at mine in Shropshire they have run of the houses! They are great company for me, especially through out the small hours when I don't sleep for days and nights on end due to chronic pain, but, I do try and force myself out and take them for walkies!
    This is a hard area. I recently decided to re-train in management and law P/T and volunteer P/T as a disability rights campainger with RADAR, which I fit around me and my other respnsiblities of caring for my disabled mother. My sister comes twice a week and we talk on the phone. My mother has a best freind who calls around about twice a week and normally on sundays, I cook lunch as I used to do this for a living and like to try to keep this. I may struggel the rest of the week. I find I have to `pace' myself. My best friend died of cancer last year its left a void. But if anybody finds themselfs in west Oxfordshire or North shropshire/ Norht wales/ South Cheshire send me email on [Text deleted] and lets go for coffee? Oh, Ive just joined the Conservative club as they are quite social. Heather xx

    [This post has been edited by the forum moderator in accordance with our terms and conditions of use, clause 3.4, as it contained a users contact details - MC]
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Social life? What's that?! :oops: I'm 21 and I live at home and my best friend is my dog. I've suffered with mental health issues for years, so my life has been pretty limited anyway. I can't help but feel angry at being diagnosed with arthritis because it's taking away the things that kept me sane; taking my dog on long walks, going to the gym etc. I'm starting to find work a physical struggle and I love my job. It all makes me very sad and I'm scared I've never going to leave home and meet new people and have my own family one day.

    Sorry, that just ended up being a whiney post and not very helpful to anyone. :|
  • countessheather
    countessheather Member Posts: 114
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Princes 01.
    You are sooo YOUNG (I don't mean that in a patronizing way) its just.... Whooa, you knocked me sideways! You could be `my daughter' - said she who bursts in to tears. :cry:
    OK, young lady. I firmly belive based on the content of your emails that you are MEANT FOR BETTER THINGS! This may sound like `verbal diahorrea' but it is NOT. It is a fact that those of us in life who are tested from a `young age' develop wonderfull chariactures irrespective of what we look like - as my grandmother would say` Theres a Jack for every Jill'. It will be `your chariacture' that will attract `the one' for you. Yes, it takes longer but the results will be worth the investment. You are already a `strong' woman, with clear insight and empathy beyond your years. Youl will move from home when the time is right. I know that you work and love this, so do you drive too? there must be a `young & disabled' group near you to join to start with. Ps. I only take the dogs on sort walks.xxx

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