Coping after TKR home, cooking etc

sharmaine

Hi

If you've had a TKR how did you find coping with daily life? Cooking, ironing etc. OH travels a lot with his job sometime he's out from 6.00 am - 7.30pm or later - it depends where he is. He will endeavour to work from home 2/3 days a week. He's going to be around for the first 2 weeks after my op.

My OH wants to move one of the beds into the dining room so that I won't have to climb the stairs but I'm dead set against it. I don't think our lives should be disrupted and that I should be able to manage the stairs when I get home (we have a downstairs toilet and handrails upstairs).

The other threat is that mother-in-law wants to stay for a week! As much as I like her I don't want her to move in. I just want to get used to recovering without the stress of having to keep mum-in-law amused. She means well, but I know she'll take over. She lives 30 miles away. She's a stubborn woman and I just can't seem to get through to her nicely that I'll be fine!!!

I've been doing the shopping online (local veg man visits once a week); I can manage to cook (thanks to the perching stool); I do light housework but can't manage the vacuuming. I'm just being a silly woman and worrying about things such as washing/ironing and everything else that comes with homelife.

Tips/ideas/suggestions welcome.

Regards
Sharmaine

maud48

Hi Sharmaine
Fraid I cant help you too much with practical ideas but really don't think you should have your mother in law, or anyone else, to stay if you don't want to. You'll want to relx in your own home and not have to feel responsible for anyone else. Can you or your OH find a way of explaining this to her?
As to housework can't help you except to say my answwer is to do only what I can manage. My OH does some occasionally but I've leant not to stress about it, no that I ever did that much anyway.
maudx

elnafinn

Hi Shairmaine

After the first two weeks back at home, you will have begun to notice what you can and cannot do for long. Things will probably take you longer to do, to begin with but so what!!!!

You will be able to do ironing but perhaps not too much at a time.

I think after two weeks you are able to be on your own and do everything as and when you wish and see how you go. I totally understand that you do not wish to have anyone else there to think about, if you know what I mean. It is important that you get on, on your own and slowly back to your usual routine. If there are things that are difficult then leave them until OH is around.

You will have "done" stairs before you leave the hospital. As you say, you do not have to be using the stairs more than twice if you find them difficult but it is best to use them as an exercise so you master them so I agree, sleep upstairs at night.

Shopping on line is good. You will need time to do your physio exercises and take it easy and the rest of the time, you can potter about carefully. The days will go fast even if you are on your own for a lot of the time.

I wish you well,

Luv
Elna x

cherrybim

Hello Sharmane

I had a right TKR in October and was discharged after 3 nights under the Assisted Discharge Scheme (don't know whether you have this where you are?)

I was severly told off, in the nicest possible way, by one of the daily nurses 'cos my heart rate was "alarmingly high". When she found out that I'd been endeavouring to do some housework she absolutely forbade it

Since then I've really done zilch :oops:

The washing gets done but I'm blowed if I, or my hubby irons it!

I've a bed downstairs and a commode should I need it during the night. I'm happy with that 'cos hubby sustained a comminuted fracture of his femur in June and can only sleep on his back. He, he I can escape his snoring

Hope all goes well and don't try to do too much. Just remember that the exercises are more important than the vacuuming!

Cherryxxx

sharmaine

Hi Elna, Cherry etc

Thanks for sensible responses. My OH tends to fuss a bit because he knows what I'm like regarding housework. I have mellowed these past months knowing that I just can't do certain things. I'm sure I'll be fine. I'm going to have to get my OH to speak to his mother. Maybe I'll ask her to come around and cook a meal one weekend to keep her sweet or maybe get them to take me out for a pub lunch when I'm feeling brighter.

I tend to do the ironing sitting down. OH will do his bit around the house and if things get left then they'll just have to wait!

Shopping is sorted by doing it online and veggies and fruit get delivered by local farmer in his van.

I'll get hubby to read your responses regarding keeping bed upstairs! I just want my home to remain as it is and I like going to sleep upstairs!

Sharmaine



quote="elnafinn"]Hi Shairmaine

After the first two weeks back at home, you will have begun to notice what you can and cannot do for long. Things will probably take you longer to do, to begin with but so what!!!!

You will be able to do ironing but perhaps not too much at a time.

I think after two weeks you are able to be on your own and do everything as and when you wish and see how you go. I totally understand that you do not wish to have anyone else there to think about, if you know what I mean. It is important that you get on, on your own and slowly back to your usual routine. If there are things that are difficult then leave them until OH is around.

You will have "done" stairs before you leave the hospital. As you say, you do not have to be using the stairs more than twice if you find them difficult but it is best to use them as an exercise so you master them so I agree, sleep upstairs at night.

Shopping on line is good. You will need time to do your physio exercises and take it easy and the rest of the time, you can potter about carefully. The days will go fast even if you are on your own for a lot of the time.

I wish you well,

Luv
Elna x[/quote]

sharmaine

Hi
Pixi my operation is on 15 February. Pre op is on 5 February so please say a prayer that all goes well for me. I'm anxious that they may say no or say that I've put on weight etc. I don't know what they expect because with both legs being so bad I can't really do more than I already do. I tried going around the shops on my crutches yesterday and only managed 5 minutes - OH had to fetch the wheelchair from the car. I'm trying to be really careful with what I eat............!

I hope you are well. I'll have a word with my mother in law - her insistence is beginning to become a pain in the rear!
Sharmaine

pixyandfaries wrote:

sharmaine hun im so pleased your ok, i hope its not to painfull and you heal fast , just tell mil youd rather not have her stay hun, it would put strain on her as well

elnafinn

Hi Sharmaine

What my MIL and SIL did, was to visit and bring something homemade ie shepherds pie and chicken pie, which was a huge help to me. They lasted two days each too as they were so large! They brought them over freshly made so I had the choice to freeze both, neither, or one of them.

I think you are a very sensible lass and you appreciate that although you wish to keep up with the chores etc (you are similar to me, I worried too :roll: ) but you will also be aware that some things may have to slide a little, by your standards, but no one else would notice, if you know what I mean. The main thing is to do as you are told by the medics, rest, ice, do the physio exercises, leg elevation when sitting and so on. It is a major operation and does take time to feel totally back to normal. There will be plenty of time later to "catch up" because you will be more mobile.

It will all be ok, trust me!

Luv
Elna x

lindalegs

Hi Shamaine,

By two weeks after the operation you'll possibly be in less pain than you are now and be able to do some light things for yourself and manage on your own during the day.

Don't overdo things though, I'm sure they'll be no need to do the ironing unless it's something that you enjoy. Remember housework waits, dust may gather but your recuperation is the most important thing.

To reassure your hubby you could suggest that he leaves the bed where it is and he can always move it after the operation if you feel you need it downstairs then.

Hope all goes well with the op.

Luv Legs

dachshund

Hi Sharmaine.
All the best for your opp are you having a epidural i did when i had mine 5 years a go i have
not had a problem with it, the only thing i find difficult is kneeling.
i so pleased i had the opp. just do what ever you feel capable of doing and sit down when you want to your body will tell you.
take care joan xx

woodbon

Hello,
I've not had the type of surgery you will be having, but I have had a couple of major ops for other things. I came home with a drain still in my tummy, draining an abcess on my liver, and the first week my husband had off, but had to go back the second week. I was not able to do much at all, but we managed fine, Jerry made me sandwiches and I a flask of hot water to make coffee, as I couldn't lift the kettle, I had to go upstairs for the loo, but managed if I took my time. As for the housework, jerry did some, but the rest had to wait a couple of weeks and didn't get too bad. I had the radio and telly for company, loads of books and mags, friends and neigbours kept drooping in. I was fine and I think it helped my confidence. Even my doctor was surprised how quickly I got better!

My own, personal view is, that, the sooner things are back to normal the better you feel. I know your op is very different, but I'm sure you'll cope. Having people, even close friends and family in your house can be, for me, a strain. Its easier to get on with doing things your way, and in the end your mother in law will have to go home, so if you get too used to help, it may even be more difficult when the time comes to be on your own. Could your husband point this out, nicely to her???

Good luck with the Op, I'm sure you'll be fine!!! Love Sue

sharmaine

Hi Elna
My MIL, son and DIL are all good cooks unlike poor hubby who only knows how to open tins/packets!!! He can make a dinner but it is frustrating to watch the labour intensive way he goes about it!! OH is a good soul and I think he likes being a knight in shining armour.
I've been making some of our favourite dishes and freezing them. I plan on doing this up until I go into hospital.

Thanks for calling me sensible - I think you are too. I like to be organised and it sometimes can drive other people nuts!

I'll certainly do the exercises and already have books to read, films to watch etc.

Regards
Sharmaine

elnafinn wrote:

Hi Sharmaine

What my MIL and SIL did, was to visit and bring something homemade ie shepherds pie and chicken pie, which was a huge help to me. They lasted two days each too as they were so large! They brought them over freshly made so I had the choice to freeze both, neither, or one of them.

I think you are a very sensible lass and you appreciate that although you wish to keep up with the chores etc (you are similar to me, I worried too :roll: ) but you will also be aware that some things may have to slide a little, by your standards, but no one else would notice, if you know what I mean. The main thing is to do as you are told by the medics, rest, ice, do the physio exercises, leg elevation when sitting and so on. It is a major operation and does take time to feel totally back to normal. There will be plenty of time later to "catch up" because you will be more mobile.

It will all be ok, trust me!

Luv
Elna x

sharmaine

Hi Sue
I'm seeing my MIL next weekend and will have a word with her OH will too. OH is going to be around for the first 2 weeks and I think we'll manage fine. I'm going to concentrate on getting better, reading and watching tv. I think women tend to worry about the house more than blokes! The flask/sandwiches is a good idea.
Thanks for your kind wishes.
Regards
Sharmaine

woodbon wrote:

Hello,
I've not had the type of surgery you will be having, but I have had a couple of major ops for other things. I came home with a drain still in my tummy, draining an abcess on my liver, and the first week my husband had off, but had to go back the second week. I was not able to do much at all, but we managed fine, Jerry made me sandwiches and I a flask of hot water to make coffee, as I couldn't lift the kettle, I had to go upstairs for the loo, but managed if I took my time. As for the housework, jerry did some, but the rest had to wait a couple of weeks and didn't get too bad. I had the radio and telly for company, loads of books and mags, friends and neigbours kept drooping in. I was fine and I think it helped my confidence. Even my doctor was surprised how quickly I got better!

My own, personal view is, that, the sooner things are back to normal the better you feel. I know your op is very different, but I'm sure you'll cope. Having people, even close friends and family in your house can be, for me, a strain. Its easier to get on with doing things your way, and in the end your mother in law will have to go home, so if you get too used to help, it may even be more difficult when the time comes to be on your own. Could your husband point this out, nicely to her???

Good luck with the Op, I'm sure you'll be fine!!! Love Sue

sharmaine

Hi Joan
I think I'll know more when I go for my pre op. I was supposed to see the specialist this week but it was cancelled because he was ill.
I'll take on board all your advice and listen to my body. I'm glad your operation went well. As long as I don't know anything about what they're doing and I'm out like a light they can give me what they want....I didn't realise I had a choice.

Sharmaine

dachshund wrote:

Hi Sharmaine.
All the best for your opp are you having a epidural i did when i had mine 5 years a go i have
not had a problem with it, the only thing i find difficult is kneeling.
i so pleased i had the opp. just do what ever you feel capable of doing and sit down when you want to your body will tell you.
take care joan xx

sharmaine

Hi Linda
I did suggest that to OH re moving the bed. I would like to manage the stairs - I cope with them now so I should be able to cope with them then. I'll just take my time. You are quite right recuperation is more important. I can ask MIL to do a bit of ironing! hee hee!! She is really a dear and I would hate to hurt her feelings.

Sharmaine

lindalegs wrote:

Hi Shamaine,

By two weeks after the operation you'll possibly be in less pain than you are now and be able to do some light things for yourself and manage on your own during the day.

Don't overdo things though, I'm sure they'll be no need to do the ironing unless it's something that you enjoy. Remember housework waits, dust may gather but your recuperation is the most important thing.

To reassure your hubby you could suggest that he leaves the bed where it is and he can always move it after the operation if you feel you need it downstairs then.

Hope all goes well with the op.

Luv Legs

elnafinn

sharmaine wrote:

Thanks for calling me sensible - I like to be organised and it sometimes can drive other people nuts!


Aw, I like to be organised too, Sharmaine. I really think you are doing all the right things, thinking ahead and cooking meals to freeze. Certainly will help a great deal. We are very similar in our ways, I can see that!!

I am a lot older than you though, :oops: and over the past few years, I have noticed lots of things that I no longer do on a regular basis, like I used to do ie cleaning windows! The fact that when I am not wearing my glasses, which is as little as possible, as I loathe them, all looks sooooooooo clean, until I put them on and see what I have missed.

This site being so addictive has also stopped me doing chores.

Everything will work out fine for you.

Love
Elna x

sharmaine

Hi Elna
I need my specs on all the time (except in bed)! I'll be 54 next month!

I agree the site is addictive. OH, who fancies himself as a bit of a singer.... has made a little song when I'm on arthritis care too long! Having OA has made me appreciate life a lot more. Thank goodness that my OH has been so supportive. My best friend (now deceased) husband left her when she was diagnosed with cancer. He couldn't handle it. Her mother and daughter ended up being carers for her. Despite this she loved him until the day she died.

Good luck with your operation. Is it next week? I'll think of you and hope that things go well for you.

Sharmaine

elnafinn wrote:

sharmaine wrote:

Thanks for calling me sensible - I like to be organised and it sometimes can drive other people nuts!


Aw, I like to be organised too, Sharmaine. I really think you are doing all the right things, thinking ahead and cooking meals to freeze. Certainly will help a great deal. We are very similar in our ways, I can see that!!

I am a lot older than you though, :oops: and over the past few years, I have noticed lots of things that I no longer do on a regular basis, like I used to do ie cleaning windows! The fact that when I am not wearing my glasses, which is as little as possible, as I loathe them, all looks sooooooooo clean, until I put them on and see what I have missed.

This site being so addictive has also stopped me doing chores.

Everything will work out fine for you.

Love
Elna x

rb1234

Hi Sharmaine

I think it is good that you are thinking ahead and getting prepared before the op. Cooking meals to freeze so you can just heat them up later is a really good idea. Have a look at the layout of your kitchen to make sure the things you need the most are the easiest to reach.

Before you leave hospital you will be taught how to do stairs. If you can manage to go up stairs on your non operated leg you should be fine. I didn't need to move my bed down stairs after either of my knee replacements or my hip replacement. If you are worried discuss this at your pre op appt.

I had my hip replacement 6 weeks ago and my OH was at home for the first 2 weeks after and then back to work. By that point we had worked out how i would manage on my own. I think having your MIL might be hard work for you. You will have a lot of physio to do (and I strongly recommend you do it) plus you might get tired for a few weeks after the op. In some ways i liked it when my OH went back to work as i could do things at my own pace but do them for myself. Also when i was tired i could rest better too.

I hope the op goes well. Good luck!

woodbon

Hi, I've just re-read my post, and I can see I've made at least one typo, about my neighbours who keep drooping in. A strange lot of folks around here - starting with me!!! :oops:

Good wishes for the op although I'm sure you won't need them! Love Suexxx

sharmaine

Hi Sue

I didn't spot the drooping neighbours typo - glad you pointed it out.
I'll be looking at my neighbours with fresh eyes!

I think being away from home will be hardest for me and I know why. I'm in control here and I won't be in control in hospital. My operation is 7.00 am in the morning. I expect they'll have me in the day before my op.

Sharmaine

woodbon wrote:

Hi, I've just re-read my post, and I can see I've made at least one typo, about my neighbours who keep drooping in. A strange lot of folks around here - starting with me!!! :oops:

Good wishes for the op although I'm sure you won't need them! Love Suexxx