Looking forward to getting to know everyone xx

milliemoo
milliemoo Member Posts: 13
edited 10. Feb 2010, 18:07 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi,

I've introduced myself in 'Say Hello' but I best do it again... :D

I'm married to Tim who's 43 and recently been diagnosed with OA, high possibility of RA and also carpal tunnel syndrome. His current meds are co codamol and diclofenac, both of them aren't helping so he's being kicked up the bum (gently) to get himself back to the Dr for better pain management.

I know I'll find this easier when I get to know you all better, I'll be able to open up more and hopefully have a better understanding as to whats happening to him!

I've gone from having a very mobile husband to suddenly having 1 in constant 24/7 pain, has a walking stick and only able to potter around town in a wheelchair....

The onset of OA started 20+ yrs ago but T always put it down to him being very athletic at school. Life continued, albeit in pain most of the time, but to have such a sudden decline has taken us all by surprise!

I won't keep writing as I'm hoping you may ask questions. I'll answer as best I can, then you'll be able to help us *fingers crossed* :D

Much love to all xx

Comments

  • happy_feet
    happy_feet Member Posts: 93
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Milliemoo
    Nice to meet you. Sorry about your hubby, has he seen a Rhuematologist yet? Its strange you mention sudden decline its more or less whats happened to me, had pain for years but suddenly its spread and got much worse. Are they going to do more tests on your hubby to get an exact diagnosis?
  • milliemoo
    milliemoo Member Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If my memory is correct he was diagnosed last August (ish)... He's always had aches and pains but it became unbearable last year so I made him go to see the Dr. The Dr was fantastic with him and sent him for blood tests and Xrays. He received a diagnosis in weeks *clap clap to NHS*!

    He's got OA in his knees, hips, lower spine, wrists and hands. He's lost the curvature to his lower spine due to the arthritis and he's also got 'Bursitis' in his right hip.

    His consultant is adamant Tim has RA even though it's not showing in blood tests, so he's being sent for a radiation injection in the next 2/3 weeks. He has signs of RA as his fingers are bending quite badly, along with a new walking technique which Tim thinks no one notices :? (I've just been given a dirty look for writing that) :lol:

    The change has come on so, so fast!
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think it`s great that you are posting Millie, because although the illness is Tim`s, it`s going to affect you drastically.

    I`m wondering if the reason for this, though, is because, you are finding the changes very confusing, and perhaps, even difficult to live with at times.

    This disease seems to have very few set rules, treating everyone differently. It is, however, something that takes a helluva lot of coming to terms with initially, as it can be so life changing.

    It doesn`t sound like Tim has got the correct pain relief, something that you are already aware of. Go with him to see your GP, and take a list of questions that you want answers to. DON`T give up until you are satisfied. The correct treatment - which may take time to find - will maker an enormous difference in the long run.

    One last bit of advice. If, at times, you wonder where your lovely husband has gone, be patient. There can be a lot of denial at first, and total upsurge of emotions.........My best wishes to you both.....Ange.
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Jackie and Tim,

    Glad you found your way over here.

    There are so many types of arthritis and not all come up in bloods I afraid. I got oa and pa and neither show up, well sometimes the infection levels are high :wink: It really can take some time to find a combination of drugs that help but hopefully yo will find one that does soon. I understand denial Tim I really do and its kinda scary how quickly it can go at at times but with the right combination of pain and if you do have another kind for control it does get easier. You both take care and hope the gp will come up with something better soon. Cris
  • milliemoo
    milliemoo Member Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'll explain a little bit about my need for posting in the hope you'll understand...

    I was diagnosed with epilepsy 5 yrs ago and 'Oh Boy' did our lives change! I was falling to bits and also had to watch the same happen to my wonderful husband because he had to be strong for me.

    When he was diagnosed last year I told him the 1 thing 'we' needed when I was diagnosed was a support network, in whichever form it mite be.... He found your sight a few weeks ago, he's registered but I think he's a tad shy, so I've taken the first step. I'm also going to try and find a support group in our area but we'll struggle if we have to travel coz T's having trouble driving and I no longer drive :cry: (we could always get a horse) hahaha

    He is lost, also very depressed and confused as to what the future might bring.

    I've just read this to him and his words were 'I can't type coz my fingers are killing, but please say 'Hi' to you all'.... xx
  • milliemoo
    milliemoo Member Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Angel1,

    YES, my life is one of utter confusion, denial, crying, anger and then I find this inner strength that tells me 'we' can and will cope and then reality smacks me in the face again!

    Where has my wonderful silly hubby gone? The one who used to chase me around the house, wrestle me to the floor and tickle me until I screamed or cried?

    I miss that side of him. I pray for him to return. I know 'we' have to adapt to a new way of life but I so want to SCREAM at this thing nicknamed 'Arthur'...

    Sorry I'm a tad emotional writing this!
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    milliemoo wrote:
    Angel1,

    YES, my life is one of utter confusion, denial, crying, anger and then I find this inner strength that tells me 'we' can and will cope and then reality smacks me in the face again!

    Where has my wonderful silly hubby gone? The one who used to chase me around the house, wrestle me to the floor and tickle me until I screamed or cried?

    I miss that side of him. I pray for him to return. I know 'we' have to adapt to a new way of life but I so want to SCREAM at this thing nicknamed 'Arthur'...

    Sorry I'm a tad emotional writing this!

    I understand perfectly Millie, and you are right to allow all these emotions out - both of you have to. As long as you are communicating, you will get to a place eventually, that will work for you both again.


    I`m very impressed with your self awareness, whilst feeling so sad for the losses you are both suffering. I say this all the time on here, - my job is a Counsellor - that you are suffering a form of bereavement, and you have to grieve for the losses, before you can accept all the changes. It will happen though, I promise you Millie........Much love.......Ange.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Jackie and Tim

    I am so relieved to see that you have posted on this zone. That is a good start and we will support you both, promise. You only have to ask. We may not have answers but we do have the time for each other on here and that is very important. Even to type out your feelings, helps, well I think so and many peeps have called in here, pretty desperate at times and feeling incredibly lost, but just to see how many others answer their thread, makes them start to feel stronger in themselves.

    You can of course call the helpline, the number is at the top of the screen and many have done this and been helped incredibly. They are trained, very patient, once you have got through, because as you can imagine the line is often busy, they give you all the time you need and if you break down, they wait for you to compose yourself. They are a truly wonderful band of people.

    The helpline will know if there is a support group in your area andif there isn't and you would like a project AC will help you start one up. How about that then? :)

    There is help out there for peeps with arthritis. It is finding the right gp, consultant, rheumatologist, being referred to a pain clinic, acupuncture, physio.

    Keep calling in as often as you wish. That is what we are all here for.

    Love
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi he will go through so many reactions he will be up and down you can only listen to him and be there for him at least you will understand when he is feeling down and afraid of the future for both of you as you must have gone through much the same thing when you started. . tell him when he is ready we will answer any questions he has and if he needs to get stuff off his chest we will be here some times you can not tell your partner how hard life is and how down you can get you keep up a front with them as much as you can so look into his eyes you will see how much pain he is hiding from you and if he is scared we all are from time to time.
    val what is his user name????
    val
  • chile168
    chile168 Member Posts: 384
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Millie and shy hubby,

    I think is good that you are letting your emotions out. I agree with Angel, it a bereavement process and during that process we go through so many emotions before acceptance. We all understand that feeling of asking, where is my old life?

    From what you say, it sounds a loving relationship both supporting one another and hope you get answers. Thinking of you both.

    Lots of love xxxxxxxx

    Eve
  • dolittle
    dolittle Member Posts: 240
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Jackie and Tim,
    What a great relationship you two must have. It will survive all this, you know!

    The others have given you so much wise information already, I can't think of anything to add .... it's early for me ... apart from to tell Tim there's no need to be shy here - they're a great folk. Been of tremendous help to me, little do they know.

    Have a good day.
    Dolittle
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi and welcome Jackie and Tim,
    My OH is 43 too but well.I am the one with R.A.It is difficult bearing your soul I know.It was a shock to me too, suddenly I was unable to get out of a chair yet I was very fit and active previously.
    Keep supporting one another, keep asking questions(there will be many) and eventually things will improve.
    Take care
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • milliemoo
    milliemoo Member Posts: 13
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you so much to you all xx

    Tim went to his weekly physio session yesterday where he was made to go on a cycle machine - Was so funny to watch my husband sulking and oh so funny when the physio put on a leg strap (tied around his ankle and tied onto a bar) then she couldn't untie it so she has to get the scissors :lol: We were in stitches imaging him being left there!!

    She also gave him some hand/wrist splints for him to wear at night to try and relieve the carpal tunnel. He said they were absolutely amazing to wear and his hands weren't numb this morning.

    Today we went back to the Dr. They've upped his co codamol tablets from 8mg tabs to 30mg. Dr isn't very happy about Tim driving on this new level (not that he can drive much anyway) we've been given instructions about good and bad day med doses, was all a bit complicated but we'll sort it out... I think he may be a tad stoned for the next few days :wink:

    We also managed to have a potter around town with me mostly complaining about the stupid dropped kerbs that nearly tip the wheelchair upside down! :x

    Anyway, once again thanks to you all for being so kind and welcoming... Tim is reading the forum on a daily basis and he's learning an awful lot!

    Lotsa love xxx