I am feeling so, so down and upset....

pols090607

I'm sorry to post this gloomy message but I am just feeling so rotten at the moment.

My hands ache, my hip and knee ache and also my shoulder. Each day I wake up willing the pains to go but they just don't, I am so fed up of painkiller after painkiller.

My housework is behind 'cause I can't keep on top of it feeling so bloody tired all the time and when I talk to my husband about it I can see him almost rolling his eyes as if he's thinking here we go again, nag, nag, nag......I feel as though is causing a strain between us..

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like talking to him anymore about it, all I do is moan about anything and everything...

I have just roared at the kids, god love them, it's not their fault and they don't understand so that has upset me too and I'm now sat crying

I've got work in the morning which is just another struggle I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers, I feel like a horrible person right now

Sorry for such an awful thread :oops:

Wonkylegs

pols090607 wrote:

I'm sorry to post this gloomy message but I am just feeling so rotten at the moment.

My hands ache, my hip and knee ache and also my shoulder. Each day I wake up willing the pains to go but they just don't, I am so fed up of painkiller after painkiller.

My housework is behind 'cause I can't keep on top of it feeling so bloody tired all the time and when I talk to my husband about it I can see him almost rolling his eyes as if he's thinking here we go again, nag, nag, nag......I feel as though is causing a strain between us..

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like talking to him anymore about it, all I do is moan about anything and everything...

I have just roared at the kids, god love them, it's not their fault and they don't understand so that has upset me too and I'm now sat crying

I've got work in the morning which is just another struggle I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers, I feel like a horrible person right now
sorry for such an awful thread :oops:

first of all here are some great big soft, fluffy hugs for you cos you certainly need them! (((((((((((())))))))) (((((((((((())))))))))))

You sound just like I have been feeling recently, and although that won't help you, I hope that knowing that you are not on your own in this will be of some comfort.

You are very sensible with your last sentence ..... I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers because this is maybe just what you do need to do!

There is only so much pain we can take, and your body is saying it is dealing with too much. So think what you can do to lessen that pain just for now. Prioritise what absolutely must be done, (and be realistic with those priorities too, cos the house will not fall down if you don't clean it ... believe me I have been testing that theory for a few weeks now :oops: ) and do as little as you can get away with.

give yourself permission to leave things and then stop worrying about them.

If you are not well enough for work do you have to go?

I can empathise with what you say about your hubby, but it sounds like you are making assumptions about how he is feeling (I am good at that too ) so could you talk to him honestly about how you are both feeling? He may be wishing he knew how to help you.

And from my own personal experience, it may help you to talk to someone about the difficulties you are experiencing, and get some additional support that way. A good start would be your GP if they are understanding. They may be able to refer you to an Occupational Therapist (OT) for help with your hands ...... believe me that can be a great help ...... or to physio.

Also, you may think of asking about the possibility of getting some counselling for a while ...... your GP could help with that if you are honest about how this is all affecting you.

and finally, why not ring the AC helpline people (number at the top of the page) because they have helped loads of us through times just like this, and they have all been there themselves so they really do understand.

loads of hugs
WOnky xxxx

ps - sorry the reply got a bit long .... :oops:

elnafinn

Hi Paula

You are not a horrible person and you must not think that. We all have our really tough times and take it out on our nearest and dearest. If I remember your children are young and there is always so much to do and sort out and you work too. How did your appt with the gp go in January? You were feeling quite confident about going and getting some help. Did that happen? We do have to fight for help in some instances unfortunately, if it is not forthcoming. We have to be firm and really let these medics know how it is for us and how we are feeling. Don't let anyone tell you it is in your head, either, because it most definitely is not.

I do hope you feel a little stronger and brighter tomorrow. Keep calling in on here and let us know how you are.

Luv
Elna x

dolittle

Oh, Pots, luv!
Wish I could give you a cuddle. It's awful when you feel so low. I understand only too well what you say and feel - no, people don't understand - The one thing nobody can do is feel other people's pain.

I would imagine it's 'roaring' at the kids that's got to you the most. They'll bounce back - kids are more resiliant than we give them credit for. Give them a cuddle and tell them you're in pain - kids like to be 'needed' as well. This 'can't put old heads on young shoulders' doesn't always ring true - kids have often got older heads than we give them credit for.

It's awful not being as efficient with the housework as we used to be. I've been trying to get through the ironing all day. I've done half but here I am playing with this thing instead. The intention is there but the deliberation isn't. I've been trying for 40 years to find a chink in my husband's armour but I've nye on given up. I think they don't understand any medical condition but 'man flu'.

Here's some (((((hugs))))) and I've put a hankie in the post.
Do

speedalong

You poor thing. Get your OH to organise a takeaway for dinner and take yourself to bed. Tell the kids how much you love them and they will be quick to forgive.

Definitely sounds like you need to see your GP asap and if at all possible take some time of work. If your boss felt like you do you think he would be at work?!

Talking to someone away from the family is a really good idea -that way you won't feel you are burdening them and then when it is all clear in your mind and you feel stronger maybe you will be more up to a heart to heart with OH.

Hang in there.

Speedalong xxx

purely

pols090607 wrote:

I'm sorry to post this gloomy message but I am just feeling so rotten at the moment.

My hands ache, my hip and knee ache and also my shoulder. Each day I wake up willing the pains to go but they just don't, I am so fed up of painkiller after painkiller.

My housework is behind 'cause I can't keep on top of it feeling so bloody tired all the time and when I talk to my husband about it I can see him almost rolling his eyes as if he's thinking here we go again, nag, nag, nag......I feel as though is causing a strain between us..

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like talking to him anymore about it, all I do is moan about anything and everything...

I have just roared at the kids, god love them, it's not their fault and they don't understand so that has upset me too and I'm now sat crying

I've got work in the morning which is just another struggle I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers, I feel like a horrible person right now

Sorry for such an awful thread :oops:

There is always something to help the pain that perhaps you havenbt tried yet. My spinal osteo A causes me constant pain in my buttocks and legs. I have tried all the pain killers that they throw at you and dont like the longterm side effects. I asked for physio therapy and they tried acupuncture. I thought it felt slightly different when I left until I stepped in a slight hole in the pavement. this normally would cause agony but in this case it didnt. I tried walking faster than I usually do and found that I felt hardly any pain and I could move with ease. It only lasted for about an hour but it left me feeling really positive about my condition. Do give acupuncture a try. It is available on the National Health in the UK
Tony F

suzster

pols090607 wrote:

I'm sorry to post this gloomy message but I am just feeling so rotten at the moment.

My hands ache, my hip and knee ache and also my shoulder. Each day I wake up willing the pains to go but they just don't, I am so fed up of painkiller after painkiller.

My housework is behind 'cause I can't keep on top of it feeling so bloody tired all the time and when I talk to my husband about it I can see him almost rolling his eyes as if he's thinking here we go again, nag, nag, nag......I feel as though is causing a strain between us..

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like talking to him anymore about it, all I do is moan about anything and everything...

I have just roared at the kids, god love them, it's not their fault and they don't understand so that has upset me too and I'm now sat crying

I've got work in the morning which is just another struggle I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers, I feel like a horrible person right now

Sorry for such an awful thread :oops:

i second what others have said and i know exactly how you feel, see my thread 'i'm worried about myself' you'll see i'm feeling the same, i've been trying to get a gp appointment but still no joy.
any way, trust me that letting it out on here helps, some of the replies i got have made me cry (in a good way!) just knowing we aren't alone helps loads to.
take care and here's hoping we both feel better soon
sue

dippydoodah

You mustnt feel like your a horrible person at all, its awful having to put up with so much pain and such a range of emotions, you really are not alone as Im sure many others agree. Give your kids a cuddle and I bet all will be forgotton.
As for the housework, I haven't done mine nearly as much as I used too. If you need to get things off your chest, here is the best place as so many of us are in the same position.
I hope you feel a little better tomorrow, my thoughts are with you.
Caroline x

psyart

pols090607 wrote:

I'm sorry to post this gloomy message but I am just feeling so rotten at the moment.

My hands ache, my hip and knee ache and also my shoulder. Each day I wake up willing the pains to go but they just don't, I am so fed up of painkiller after painkiller.

My housework is behind 'cause I can't keep on top of it feeling so bloody tired all the time and when I talk to my husband about it I can see him almost rolling his eyes as if he's thinking here we go again, nag, nag, nag......I feel as though is causing a strain between us..

I'm getting to the point where I don't feel like talking to him anymore about it, all I do is moan about anything and everything...

I have just roared at the kids, god love them, it's not their fault and they don't understand so that has upset me too and I'm now sat crying

I've got work in the morning which is just another struggle I just feel so bad today, maybe I just need to go to bed and stick my head under the covers, I feel like a horrible person right now

Sorry for such an awful thread :oops:

hi - here are more hugs for you (((((((((((())))))))))))))) Pain is such a horrid thing - it can make us feel like complety different people - changes us so much that we dont recognise ourselves!! I agree with other comments - talk to your hubby - telling him that you dont mean to be like this but you do need his support and love at this difficult time?? Tell the kids you love them - they will like that and forget the shouting!! But you do need to talk to your doctor - or rummy nurse??

Please let us know how you get on.

Louise

pols090607

hi everyone,

first and foremost can i please thank you all for such lovely reply's, they have made me cry, but in a good way today

monday was just an absolute nightmare of a day, reading my message back i sound/feel really neurotic :oops:

it helps to know that other people know exactly where you're coming from.

my husband came home from work and could see i was upset and sent me off for a warm bath and bed. he does understand, he does so much for me, just on bad days and the kids doing your head in too :oops: everything seems a million times worse, i guess we all have them.

i last week seen the physio who has referred me for a session of hydro so that is something really positive and i've decided at my next rheumy appt to ask for more x-rays and blood tests with a view to me starting on perhaps metho, things aren't improving really, if anything i'm getting worse and i finally feel as though i am accepting this illness (even after all these years and actually with the help of the people on here)

so once again, thank you to everyone, i was really, really touched.

(((((hugs back to all )))))

xxxx

sharmaine

Hi Pols

I am sorry to hear that you're not feeling so grand and things are getting on top of you. Try and make time for yourself to rest and relax. Tell your family quietly and calmly that you're finding it really hard to cope and that you need their help and support around the home. I don't know how old your children are but even little ones can be encouraged to keep their toys tidy etc.

You should go back to see your GP with regards to your aches and pains. Where do you have arthritis? I have it in my knees; shoulder and hands. I know it's a nuisance having to take so much medication - I look at all the stuff I have to take each day but it helps me and that's what is important. Take your OH with you when you next see your GP. Have you had any x-rays done recently?

Rest if you need too the house can wait. Since I've had my TKR op my OH has been really good - cleaning without any prompting; cooking and washing. He's surprised me - but I think he understands that arthritis has changed me from a person who was full of energy and always doing things to a person who has real problems with her joints and mobility.

Please feel free to moan all you like - we understand how you are feeling because we know what it is like.

Rally your family around; apologise for being snappy tell them you adore them and ask them to help out more.

Take care.

Sharmaine

only49

my advice would be phone the helpline and have a chat i have done in the past and they are brilliant, you are not alone with all this i can asure you, your body telling you to rest even if you have to go to bed then your kids will forgive you tell them your feeling poorly and think about yourself a bit more and everything will feel much better in the morning and if you still feel like this in the morning then dont go to work sounds like you need some me time.

take and here's some hugs from me ((((( ))))

valval

right first off kids not to young to know you r having a bad day tell them you r hurting and need help. if you get no help of oh then leave things if you push your self to much you will be ill. make sure you have the right meds you must go back and tell doc how bad things r they will not know till you do i had tears in my eyes while doing this as up till then had said i am ok coping lol well was not and things just got worse and worse . the good news is with the right meds things do get better and better. i am playing catch up this year, as could do so little last so good luck let us know how you r doing

dachshund

Hi Pols.
i know how you feel my legs and body ache's
i just sit down and it go's of a bit.
i have not got children try resting a bit more if you can i hope you feel better soon.
joan xx

woodbon

Hi, I know what you mean about things getting too much, I've had a bit of a down time, but, fingers crossed, I'm comming up at the moment.

I think you do need a few hours rest during the day. It can work wonders sometimes. I hope you soon start to feel a bit better, but give yourself a bit breather!
Lots of love Suexxx

skezier

Hi Pols,

I just agree with all the others and hope that you know its not wrong to have a bad day. Sadly we all do all I can do is leave you a ((((( ))))) and a hope it will all get easier for you. Cris x