My best friend

joanlawson

My best friend has been diagnosed with cancer. It is an aggressive type, and quite advanced, so options for treatment are limited. The prognosis is not good.

She has been my best friend for over 20 years, and has stood by me through thick and thin. She has been my role model and mentor in life. I am finding it very difficult to come to terms with the thought of what lies ahead for her, even though she has taken the news very calmly. I can't imagine life without her.

Joan

pheebs

Hi Joan,

Can't think of the right words, but both of you are in my thoughts.

I know exactly how you feel - been through the same thing with one of my friends. Never ceased to amaze me how she never complained and always remembered to ask how everyone else was feeling.

You are a strong person, and will be there for her, but do remember that you also need time for you as well, and this will help you to help her cope.

Love Pheebs x

snowball

Hi Joan i am so sorry to hear about your friend, we are all hear for you.

love Julie xx

joanlawson

Thank you for your kind words. I am still in shock at the news at the moment, but trying to support my friend in any way I can.

Thank you for saying I am a strong person, Pheebs. I don't feel very strong at present though.

joanlawson

Thank you Rehab, Pheebs, Julie and Jan. It is very kind of you all.

elnafinn

Dear Joan

I am so sorry to hear about your best friend. You are bound to be in shock and so is she. We have had similar very sad news of a friend who has been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer after going in to have her appendix out. She had no idea. She was so calm on the phone. She is in shock, like your friend. She begins chemo and radiation a few days after her son's wedding in a weeks time. I am determined to be there for her in absolutely every way possible, if she wishes me to be so. She does not live at all near me but I shall help her in absolutely every way possible. I will stay strong for her, when she is not, which is inevitable. That is all I can do.

My heart goes out to you Joan. You will both need each other very much in the time ahead.You have an incredibly strong bond. Try not to jump forward with your thoughts, be there for her and with her now.

We are all here for you too,

Love
Elna x

trisher

Joan

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. It must be very upsetting for you.

I think you know that we are all here for you.

I'm sending you a (((((())))))

love Trish xxx

skezier

Joan I am sorry to read that and can only echo the others. ((( ))) Cris x

joanlawson

Thank you, Elna, and I'm sorry to hear that you are going through the same thing with your friend. My friend lives across the road from me, and she has no relatives at all in this country. She is fiercely independent, but she knows that I would move heaven and earth for her.

Thank you Cris and Trisher. It does help to know that I have good friends on here.

elnafinn

Dear Joan

I take it this is your friend who was in hospital, not so long ago. Although your friend is fiercely independent, she will be greatly comforted by knowing she can totally rely on you and that you are very close by. You will find the strength for both of you.

Love
Elna x

eileenc

Oh Joan, what terrible news for your friend and you - my heart goes out to both of you!
I know a bit of what you are feeling. I lost my best friend just over a year ago and although it was expected I wasn't ready for it - we had been friends from school days (she often said we were 'soul friends') and she was the one who laughed with me, cried with me, shared happy times and was there at sad times - she was so brave trying to shield everyone from the pain ahead but in private we cried and got angry at the unfairness of it all - we had plans - we were going to be 'ladies who lunched', we were going to spoil our grand children, force our husbands to go to dancing lessons with us........lots of things that we thought we had time for.
Now she is gone I am .......lost, she left a huge hole in my life simply because she was a huge part of it - I miss her.
All you can do Joan is be there for her and be the friend she has loved for all these years - and all we can do is be here for you and offer you all our love and support. I'm thinking of you both.
Love and hugs
Eileen x

joanlawson

Yes, Elna, it was my friend who was in hospital. She was first taken ill at Christmas, and it has taken all this time for them to find out what is wrong. There seemed to be no sense of urgency, and I do wonder whether it was ageism because I'm sure they would have moved more quickly if she had been younger.

joanlawson

eileenc wrote:

Oh Joan, what terrible news for your friend and you - my heart goes out to both of you!
I know a bit of what you are feeling. I lost my best friend just over a year ago and although it was expected I wasn't ready for it - we had been friends from school days (she often said we were 'soul friends') and she was the one who laughed with me, cried with me, shared happy times and was there at sad times - she was so brave trying to shield everyone from the pain ahead but in private we cried and got angry at the unfairness of it all - we had plans - we were going to be 'ladies who lunched', we were going to spoil our grand children, force our husbands to go to dancing lessons with us........lots of things that we thought we had time for.
Now she is gone I am .......lost, she left a huge hole in my life simply because she was a huge part of it - I miss her.
All you can do Joan is be there for her and be the friend she has loved for all these years - and all we can do is be here for you and offer you all our love and support. I'm thinking of you both.
Love and hugs
Eileen x

Thank you, Eileen. I'm sorry to hear that you lost your best friend. Because my friend lives across the road, I pop in most days, and we have had many great times together.

A few years ago, she told me that she had always wanted to go to Venice, but thought she would never get there. I decided to make her dream come true, so we went to Venice together, and we had a wonderful time there. She still talks about it now, so I am really glad that we did it.

valval

joan sorry this is happening to your friend but having you there for her will help her feeling alone is the worse thing when you r ill but she will never feel like this as she knows she has you.
the best way to help her is to do all you do already. be her friend make her smile and hold her when things r bad we will be here if you need us take care. she might have had an idea what was wrong with her some people do even if they do not tell anyone

tkachev

So sorry to read your sad news Joan,OH mums best friend has just died (27th March)of lung cancer having had a prolonged cough and was undiagnosed for far too long. She was 65.Very sad when peeps are taken from us so suddenly.
Just be there for her and help her in any way you can,
Elizabeth

joanlawson

Thank you, Val and Elizabeth. It helps such a lot to have the support of kind people on here.

tkachev

Joan.

That is what your friend will be saying. She will need someone to talk to without judgement and she will need you to listen.She will need some practical help too.She will need reassurance.
Lets hope that she gets better.

Elizabeth

joyful164

I know exactly what you are going through. First with dil (who seems better at the moment but won't get any better)
She has lost her mother last Monday to Cancer. Her mother went down hill very fast. So we have to go through that process during the next couple of weeks as we with our best friend from the car club. We are waiting for the phone to ring any day to say that he has gone.

So, what is the answer, I'm afraid I might seem a bit harsh here. I have to think about the young and give my attention to them.
We're here for dil if she needs us. And there is nothing we can do for they others. Life goes on.

Joy

kathbee

So very sorry to hear the news of your friend Joan.

I think you have spoken often about her on this forum
and she seems like the best kind of friend anyone could
have.

You will be there for her as you have so much love and
concern for her.

Thinking of you

Kath x

joanlawson

Hi Joy

I know how you have gone through so much with your DIL, and I'm glad to hear that she is a bit better at the moment. I'm so sorry to hear about her mother's death. That must have been dreadful for her. I'm also sorry about your friend.

As you say, life goes on, but sometimes it is a struggle to stay positive.

joanlawson

kathbee wrote:

So very sorry to hear the news of your friend Joan.

I think you have spoken often about her on this forum
and she seems like the best kind of friend anyone could
have.

You will be there for her as you have so much love and
concern for her.

Thinking of you

Kath x

Thank you Kath. My friend is definitely the best anyone could ever have. Life has not been kind to her in many ways, and yet she is always so determined and positive. Once or twice when I have hit rock bottom, she has been there and picked up the pieces for me.

dachshund

Hi Joan.
we feel so sorry for you and your friend.
your friend has a kind loving and helpfull person
who will look after her joan.
i know it will be hard for you joan but you can do it i know you will.
we will all be hear for you joan.
take care both of you.
joan xx

joanlawson

Thank you, Joan. I am overwhelmed at the kindness of so many people on here.

colinone

Your both in my thoughts and prayers
Colin

dorcas

Joan,

I am so sorry to hear about your dear friend's diagnosis.

I lost a very close friend to cancer some years ago and the one thing she told me she valued over everything else was being able to talk freely about how she was feeling.... sometimes it's just being there that is the most important gift we can give someone we love.

I wish I had the power to change this for you and your friend and I do hope that the docs will find the expertise and knowledge to provide a cure if possible; but if not then the right level of support, care and treatment.

We are and will be here for you Joan every step of the way.

sending you and your friend much love, strength and support. Iris x

joanlawson

colinone wrote:

Your both in my thoughts and prayers
Colin

Thank you, Colin. It's nice to see you back, and I hope you are feeling better.