Now I AM afraid!

dolittle
dolittle Member Posts: 240
edited 15. Apr 2010, 18:32 in Living with Arthritis archive
Have been in ‘my shell’ for a couple of weeks – again!

Have developed a rash on my arms and legs. Psoriasis suspected but, as I have a discolouration developing on my face, it’s suspected that I might have lupus, as well! I’m now scared out of my wits. I can’t think, smile, laugh and cry at the drop of a hat. If anyone can confer with the Almighty, please ask that it isn’t SLE and will be sort that just affects the skin.

Have waited 3 weeks for a dermy to look at it, and still nothing. Supposing it was contagious .. I could have infected the entire neighbourhood! Don’t relish another clinic to visit – the appointment letter dropping through the door, the wait for the day. the sitting in the waiting room, the off-hand, sometimes unpleasant reaction of the consultant, the waitiing for the ‘scrape’ procedure, another wait for the results with my blood pressure round the ceiling and then, perhaps the devastating news ………. well I won’t go there! As if I haven’t enough to deal with. That will make 14 medical conditions to cope with. Dear God, why me? What did I do?

Sorry, guys, I know you’ve all got pain and problems and find it hard to cope, but I feel better for just having put it down in a ‘rant’. I know you would take it all away if you could, but just being able to let my upset and frustration come out through my fingertips has stopped another flood of tears and I’ve managed to give my husband a smile (the poor soul’s got cancer). Feel better now! Ta! Hope you don’t mind.

Dolittle

Comments

  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi dolittle glad you felt able to share with us i was trying to imagin how worried you must be. but to be honest i could not it was imposible ((((hugs)))) is all i can do to help and to let you know you can pm me when ever you need to
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    have also sent you your own worry angle to share your troubles with
    val
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Dolittle I'm sorry you are going through it at the moment and never be sorry for expressing how you feel. I do hope you get the results asp and get the treatment you need. Sorry I'm not much help but I'm sure other peeps will be able to help you more. Take care, sending you a ((((hug)))).

    Julie x
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • psyart
    psyart Member Posts: 600
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi - this is the place to share your thoughts and feelings and i'm sure everyone will want to give you hugs (((((()))))
    let us know when you manage to see someone and please try to keep in touch on here.

    louise xx
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  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear DoLittle

    I am so sorry reading your post. You are always there for others with encouragement, kind words and sympathy. Perhaps you should chase up the dermi appointment. It is cruel for you to have to wait so long and worry and anyone would. I am so relieved to read that you could smile at your hubby this morning. You also wrote down and shared with us how you are feeling. That must have made the burden a tiny bit lighter for you. You also say you have also been in your shell for 2 weeks but you have ventured out so I can see some positives steps made today, my lovely.

    Keep in touch with us and we will do our utmost to try to keep you buoyant through all this. You are one brave lady. You look after yourself and your husband.

    Love and gentle hugs
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Do,

    I am sorry to read your having a rough time. I really hope they don't keep you hanging around too long and well i think its not surprising you are worried there. I really hope you get a good consultant and they see you soon and well sending you a ((((( ))))) and a wish I could say something to help you there. I do understand though and keep in touch with the forum cus that sometimes helps so much. You take care of you both and another ((( ))) Cris x
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HELLO
    Its so hard, all the waiting around for results and then finding you need more tests. It does make you nervous. I hate the long which envolpes with the hospital stamp on them! Yet, we want to know the answers and so have to put up with the tests. :? I'm in a similar position, and keep telling myself that its another step on the road to getting the right treatment and feeling better. It works a lot of the time, but not always. :?

    I hope you soon get the rash sorted out.
    Love Sue
  • page35
    page35 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sory dolittle i realy dont know what to say, but just to wish you all the best, hubby too, and a hug.
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 9,138
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Dolittle.
    i'm sorry you are so worried.
    i hope you cat help soon try not to worry.
    you come on here and i'm sure some one will be able to help you.
    joan xx
    take care
    joan xx
  • marion1952
    marion1952 Member Posts: 963
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dear Dolittle

    So very sorry to hear you have got another thing to worry about.. I do hope it's not SLE. Please let us know how you get on.

    Best wishes

    Marion x
  • jaspercat
    jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Dolittle, hope things improve for you soon love Jaspercatxx
  • josiec
    josiec Member Posts: 386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,
    As others have said, I can't offer any practical advice but am so sorry you have so much to cope with at the moment and never feel bad for letting off steam - it's important you do so. Sending you and yours very best wishes, Josie x
  • annebr
    annebr Member Posts: 730
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dolitte,

    I know exactly how you feel I am also waiting for the appointment to drop through the door. The indicators show Lupus or inflammatory arthritis. The waiting game is the worst wanting to know but not wanting to know.

    Anyway, I am sending you some hugs.

    Anne
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Dolittle,

    Really sorry to read your post. You must feel frozen in time, sending calming vibes to you. All I can say is one step at a time.
    Hope you get your apt very soon. Look after yourself. Ix
  • dolittle
    dolittle Member Posts: 240
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone,
    I'd like to say a really big 'thank you' for your supportive comments - it really did help. I'd also like to say 'sorry' for giving in, ranting and loading my worries onto folk who've got enough of their own!

    Still haven't heard who's going to do a scrape and when, but you've helped me to the 'well it'll happen when it does' mark. Ta! If it's infectious and everyone around me grows another head ... I can say 'told you so'! (joke!). I'll just stay away until it's resolved.

    Got my latest bloods and my CRP has shrunk to 3! Thought it was that someone filled in the book when they'd not got their glasses on, but I'm sure it's this new mediication. At least that's one positive indicator.

    Thanks everyone ..... I appreciate you.
    Dolittle (Spotty Maldoon)
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, I'm glad you sound a lot more positive and that'll help to see you through this waiting time.

    You have a lot to worry about and really, I feel, that mine are small compaired to yours, but then, I suppose we all have times when things get us down and coping becomes hard, you have more to cope with and are very brave.

    The whole reason for coming on here is to be able to have a moan and get things off your chest. A sort of safety valve! No need to say sorry at all. It is nice to hear when people are starting to feel a bit better though, as it gives those of us who are down, hope, also we care about you and wonder what is happening. So thank you for letting us know how things are going, good or bad. :wink: You'r both in my thoughts, Lots of love Sue xxxxx
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey Do,

    2 things..... don't you apologise or stay away till its sorted! If the crp is low technically its not inflammation/infection? I am certain your not infectious either cus well I think I would have said and got you seen quicker. I used to get psoriasis (one of the first things the sulfa went after and the mtx is keeping off) but have never been seen by a dermo person so could you come and tell us what they do? I quite like the idea of the sun tan treatment :lol::lol:

    Fingers crossed you get sen soon and please don't disappear till your sorted. Sending a ((( ))) and really glad your feeling a bit better about it all. Cris x
  • plmb48
    plmb48 Member Posts: 125
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi Iwas told 3 weeks ago that i have Dicoid Lupus Erythmatosus HAD RA for 30 years but i am not worried too much mine is in the form of a rash on my hair line cheeks in my ears but the cream they gave me is brill and i have started Hydroxycloroquine they stopped that because they thought that was the course but its what they treat this prob with.
    It can also affect joints and muscles but i have ra so dont know any difference lol it just another thing to cope with and we are people that cope very well good luck to you. :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: paulinexx
  • dolittle
    dolittle Member Posts: 240
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue, Cris and Pauline,
    Thanks for your kind words. Am feeling a lot better and you guys helped get me there. Ta!

    Took a Naproxen today - been told not to, but hell it's MY pain - and I can put my foot on the floor! It's been lovely.

    Am back to 'get on with it' mode. We'll see if the 'Scrape Appointment' comes tomorrow.
    Luv
    Do
  • kevlar
    kevlar Member Posts: 41
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hiya Doolittle,
    I'm sorry to hear you're having such a hard time too.

    IF the rash turns out to be psoriasis though I might be able to offer a glimmer of hope/advice.

    I myself and a friend with much worse psoriasis than me both now use aloe vera juice, a couple of slurps a day works wonders!

    I have lots of small and one larger patch of psoriasis and after a week or two of taking the aloe vera juice the smaller patches had mostly disappeared altogether and the larger patch was definately improved.

    Curiously though my scalp remained unaffected, it was bad before and remained bad throughout. Also noteworthy, it worked alongside my prescription cream but not without it.

    My friend reported much improvement and now swears by it. He uses no other medication (but probably should!)

    Meanwhile, good luck, chin up, just take it one day at a time.

    Kevin xx
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello spotty muldoon. :D

    Just catching up on posts........what a hard time of it you and hubby are having. :shock: :roll:
    Don't ever feel you can't or shouldn't come on the forum for a 'rant' or have to apologise after :!: ....that's what we all do when we need to and also where we get our strength from. :wink:

    You are some plucky lady and have been so supportive to other peeps since joining this happy band of forumites.....and you have a really precious character trait..humour! which gives us all a lift. :D

    ...so now it's our turn to support you. :wink:

    I do hope you get the results of what's causing this rash really soon...as others have said the waiting is the hardest bit. :roll:

    deep breath, take it one step at a time and only deal with what you know to be fact...not what you fear it might be. :|

    keep posting...

    lots of love and great BIG ((((HUGS)))).

    Iris x