how to explain to someone how OA effects me

only49
only49 Member Posts: 1,207
edited 15. Apr 2010, 16:42 in Living with Arthritis archive
hi

how can i get someone to understand how OA effect me as i feel there is some people who dont care simply because they don't have to live with it,

i will say my hubby wonderful she really said to his brother the other day who don't think about anyone but himself, and i quote " she got more courage with what she has to put up with and you and me both" he got quite cross at his selfish brother, so nice to see and made me feel tons better. :):):D:D

sylvia
sylvia :)stern02.gif

Comments

  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    to tell the truth you can never get some people to understand things that do not affect them. but it there loss they r missing so much of life by being so self involved you have to feel sorry for them
    val
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi
    Regrettably some people are like that. My neighbour told me the about 5 weeks after my first TKR was what I needed was a good run. I nearly hit him with my crutch. Thankfully OH was nearby and put him straight and said she lives with chronic pain everyday and has just had a major operation. I'm just thankful she can walk!
    He did look a bit sheepish afterwards.

    It's because they don't understand. Arthritis isn't as high profile as some diseases and it seems to be associated with old age which is a fallacy. Young people get arthritis too. People are under the impression that a bit of deep heat and a couple of pain killers will sort the problem out. They don't link arthritis with damaged joints that ultimately need replacing....or indeed that it is a major cause of disability in people.

    If they really care they'll ask the right questions. Like you, I find myself almost having to defend myself!!!

    Sharmaine

    only49 wrote:
    hi

    how can i get someone to understand how OA effect me as i feel there is some people who dont care simply because they don't have to live with it,

    i will say my hubby wonderful she really said to his brother the other day who don't think about anyone but himself, and i quote " she got more courage with what she has to put up with and you and me both" he got quite cross at his selfish brother, so nice to see and made me feel tons better. :):):D:D

    sylvia
  • gickygawky
    gickygawky Member Posts: 478
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    A good run!?!?

    Sharmaine, I am gobsmacked someone would say such a thing!!!
    The cheek of it!!

    A x
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Sylvia, I realised a long time ago that I was wasting my breath trying to describe my life with Arthur, to anyone who has never suffered from it. I believe we can only truly understand something, if we have experienced it ourselves. Add to that the popular misconception that it`s " wear and tear with age", and you`re on a loser, from the word go.

    I just asked myself whether or not it mattered anyway. The people who care about me understand to the best of their ability. The rest.......**** `em........Ange.
  • dopeykit
    dopeykit Member Posts: 107
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hello

    Actually I struggle with this one from the other direction - I have OA and PA and I'd really prefer those around me not to know what it feels like - I get really worried about making them anxious or them treating me differently because of it. My friends do treat me differently now and I wish it wasnt so :cry:

    Xkit
    www.cookingwitharthur.com
    Healthy, tasty recipes for living well with arthritis
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi

    Some folks are just plain stupid!!!! I think he thought he was being amusing, however, he always says it. Last year when I was in the wheelchair he said it and I wanted to run him over! I wouldn't resort to violence but ..............honestly!!!
    I just laugh at his ignorance now.

    Sharmaine

    gickygawky wrote:
    A good run!?!?

    Sharmaine, I am gobsmacked someone would say such a thing!!!
    The cheek of it!!

    A x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Sylvia :)

    Google The spoon theory, but you don't look sick.

    That may help. I have never used it, but some on here have said they have found it useful in the past.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.